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More Programming Jokes

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-05 16:49

In the story of the wolf and the three little pigs, the wolf had to huff and huff to blow the house down.
He should have just adaptive huffed

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-10 6:00

*knock knock*
-whos there?
..
..
..
..
-java

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-10 13:32

>>41
I garbage collected in my mouth a little.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-10 18:23

>>42
I collected a little bit of garbage in my mouth.
Why do I have to fix everything myself?
>>40
NULL set. You probably meant
I los'dthe game
>>20
Oct, not hex you Visual basic programmer.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 0:15

>>43
YHBTMT

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 0:56

>>43
Oct, not hex you Visual basic programmer.
That's the joke. Like ending the ``there are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary and those who don't'' line with ``and eight more types''. The original is trite and overdone to anyone but the type of people who describe themselves as geeks and read xkcd.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 2:05

>>45
Visual basic
That's the joke

Oh, very nice anon.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 3:36

>>45
Actually, the proper response to the 10 binary joke is to ask, ``what about the other 3 people''? 00, 01, and 11 obviously

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 4:23

>>47
Wouldn't that be, other two people? Because you've covered those you understand binary (00) and those who do not (01)

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 4:25

>>48
those you

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 4:27

>>48
doh ho ho.
now you're thinking with portals

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 5:33

>>50
What about my thinking with portals? Leave my portals out of this you sick fuck, this is between you and me buddy.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 7:31

Little Johnny was into tractors since he was young. Every birthday he would get more and realistic and bigger tractor toys. Before his 18th birthday, he thought it was time and asked his dad for a real tractor. Dad says ``well, we'll see what we can do.''.
So, on his 18th birthday, he doesn't get a tractor. He finds car keys in his gift box instead. At first, Johnny's little pissed, but later, he gradually becomes more and more fond of his car, like a real man. The auto-mobiles are slowly taking the place of tractors in his heart.
Years later, Johnny is 30, he has a job and is a successful father. One day, he is driving back home late evening, when he sees a house burning. Not thinking much, he pulls out, leaves the car, slams the door shut, approaches the building on fire, and begins inhaling. He inhales so strong, creating a vacuum around the house, and finally putting out the fire.
Naturally, people are shocked at what just happened. One fellow approaches Johnny and asks: ``Woah, dude, how did you do that?''
Johnny replies: ``Oh, it's no problem, I used to like tractors when I was a kid!''

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 8:08

>>52

sir, please leave

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 8:08

>>45
You must have got it wrong. (hex)0x31 == (dec)49. (oct)031 == (dec)25. Unless I am getting trolled.
>>51
If it's a troll it's a really bad troll. If it's a metatroll... it's a bit better.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 8:32

>>53
YHBT

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 9:04

>>52
I don't get it. :(

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 9:15

Little Johnny was into Sepples since he was young. Every birthday he would get more and complicated and bigger Sepples books. Before his 18th birthday, he thought it was time and asked his dad for a real compiler. Dad says ``well, we'll see what we can do.''.
So, on his 18th birthday, he doesn't get a Sepples compiler. He finds Satori in his gift box instead. At first, Johnny's little pissed, but later, he gradually becomes more and more fond of his car, like a real man. The `ABSTRACT BULLSHITE' is slowly taking the place of Sepples in his heart.
Years later, Johnny is 30, he has a job and is a successful father. One day, he is driving back home late evening, when he sees a house burning. Not thinking much, he pulls out, leaves the car, slams the door shut, approaches the building on fire, and begins inhaling. He inhales so strong, creating a vacuum around the house, and finally putting out the fire.
Naturally, people are shocked at what just happened. One fellow approaches Johnny and asks: ``Woah, dude, how did you do that?''
Johnny replies: ``Read SICP.''

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 13:35

and then Johnny was a zombie

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 14:03

no 58 you are the zombies

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 14:32

>>54
You must have got it wrong. (hex)0x31 == (dec)49. (oct)031 == (dec)25. Unless I am getting trolled.
You aren't being trolled, but you are an idiot.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 14:46

Little Stallman was into hacking LISP since he was young. Every birthday he would get more and realistic and bigger LISP toys. Before his 18th birthday, he thought it was time and asked his dad for a real LISP. Dad says ``well, we'll see what we can do''.
So, on his 18th birthday, he doesn't get a real LISP. He finds a secret area of hax in his gift box instead. At first, Stallman's little pissed, but later he gradually becomes more and more fond of his secret area of hax, like a real man.
Years later, Sussman is 30, he has a job at MIT and is still a virgin. One day, he is LISPing cudders when he sees a house burning. Not thinking much, he pulls out his huge black snake-like penis, slams it on the ground, and yells **JOIN US NOW AND SHARE THE SOFTWARE, YOU'LL BE FREE HACKERS, YOU'LL BE FREE**. He then harnesses his cock and cums all over the house, putting out the fire.
Naturally, The Sussman is shocked at what just happened. One fellow approaches Sussman and asks: ``Woah dude, how did you do that?''
Sussman replies: ``Have you read your GNU Emacs Manual today, son?'' and the Sussman was forever indebted to Stallman.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-11 14:47

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 1:00

>>61
i think you got your sussmans and stallmans mixed up

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 3:39

>>63
I believe you meant Sussmen and Stallmen.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 3:42

>>52
I still don't get it. ):

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 3:46

>>65
He liked tractors when he was a kid.
Tract-ors.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 4:35

There are 10 types of people:

Those who understand ternary, those who don't, and those who confuse it with binary.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 4:38

>>67
What about the other 6 people?

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 5:24

There are 2 type of people in this world:
Those who understand decimal and those who don't.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 7:15

>>69
What about the other 8?

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 7:29

>>70
The joke was actually perfectly valid, two in decimal is still two.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 7:37

>>71
YHBT

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 10:29

There are 16 types of people in this world:
Those who understand Hexedecimal and those who don't.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 10:39

There are 60 types of people in this world:
Those who understand Sexagesimal and those who don't.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 11:17

>>73
You obviously belong in the latter group.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 11:42

>>75
YHBT.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 12:00

There are 1 kind of people in the world. Those who understand logic.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 12:05

There are 2 types of people in the world. Those who have written their own efficient slab allocator and those who haven't.

Those who haven't aren't considered programmers.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 13:49

There are billions of types of people in the world. Everyone is unique.

Name: Anonymous 2009-04-12 14:15

>>79
I'm not. :(

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