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Last night...

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 9:34

Last night I had a nightmare.

I dreamed that I was using some web software written in PHP and that script kiddies were hacking my website to pieces and there was nothing I could do and lost my website. It was horrible!

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 9:35

wake up.
you're still asleep

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 10:38

>>1
you shuld protect yourself.

maybe if u pay enugh i will let u in my private area of hacks. ;)

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 12:36

You know shit is seriously broken when the PHP manual suggests setting up PHP/Apache in a way that will run file.php.randomextension through the PHP parser instead of sending it to the client unaltered.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 12:58

What, like this?
http://www.phpbb.com/

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 13:34

>>5
Hahahahaha

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 13:35

>>5
THE NIGHTMARE HAS BECOME A REALITY!

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 13:51

I am a PHP developer.

I mix my coding logic with my markup to echo out more markup.

I setup my PHP by editing the lines in a text file.

I enjoy major breaking changes to basic shit when each new version is released.

I don't know what unicode is.

I don't know what a thread is.

I rely on a half ass "RDMS" that only recently added this fancy thing known as stored procedures. I don't use them though because I have magic to help me.

I am a PHP developer, and I make web pages like its 1998.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 13:53

I mix my coding logic with my markup to echo out more markup.
Yo dawg.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 14:24

>>5
Oh fuck I lol'd

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 14:52

>>8
>I rely on a half ass "RDMS" that only recently added this fancy thing known as stored procedures. I don't use them though because I have magic to help me.

I hear some guys forked it in order to listen more to the community to remove these complicated features which no-one wants.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 15:11

Is there anything good about PHP that can't be done better by something else?

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 15:39

>>12
It keeps PHP developers away from real languages.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 15:44

>>13
Wouldn't Visual Basic do a better job of that? PHP's syntax is still very C-like, so I imagine there's still a fair amount of "leakage".

Name: 13 2009-02-06 15:57

>>14
Dunno, lol. The major outlet of PHP asshats seems to have been ROR, which has resulted in some major lulz in the past years.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 16:16

>>15
lulz
。。。

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 16:23

>>16
Stop playing stupid.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 16:53

>>17
Stop being stupid.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 16:54

>>18
NEVER.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 17:05

>>11

>I hear some guys forked it in order to listen more to the community to remove these complicated features which no-one wants.

Execution plan? WTF is an execution plan? I want to concatenate strings to query my "database." And I want to do a poor job and let magic hopefully save me.

Also, I have no idea about security. How would removing any and all access to database objects except a defined list of stored procedures that execute well defined logic help with that?

And all these other relational concepts confuse me. Can't we just have a database that works like a CSV file?

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 17:49

>>20
Can't we just have a database that works like a CSV file?
Frankly, most of the things SQL gets used for fall in the category `most efficiently solvable using flat files'.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 17:57

>>21
Most people you've met who use SQL are idiots, then.

I have worked with several projects where flat files definitely would not be an acceptable storage method, and comparatively very few where people have used SQL unnecessarily. Mostly because setting up the db server adds an obvious layer of complexity. Although sqlite is mitigating this, it will be interesting to see how people inappropriately overengineer projects with it as time progresses.

(But at least it's not xml)

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 18:07

>>22
Most people I've met are idiots.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 18:16

>>23
Most idiots I've met are people.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 18:33

>>24

Most idiots I've met use MySQL

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 19:48

>>25
You must not meet many people.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 19:57

- Powered by PerlHP and MySQL  -

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 20:00

>>26
You must not meet many MySQL using idiots.

Name: Anonymous 2009-02-06 20:56

>>28
✇ Please hyphenate correctly! ✇

Name: Anonymous 2009-03-06 5:49


The basement of an   argument so I   put it in   context so modifiable   loved by everyone   the very moment   it was posted   god dammit it   blows my fucking   god is that   its talking about   Therefore all structured   software development methods.

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-26 16:42

Name: Anonymous 2013-09-01 13:22



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Name: Anonymous 2013-09-01 14:53



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