Useless Statements

Are there actually any real programmers even frequenting this board?

because it seems to me that the only people posting responses are:

1. making fun of grammar
2. saying not to help the person
3. making an obvious and unhelpful statement
4. insulting the OP's intelligence
5. insulting the OP's choice of prog language (regardless of what it is)
6. Insulting the OP's Operating system (regardless of what it is)
7. Making a statement that is inaplicable in the situation, or
8. Using some form of leetspeak/pseudocode to insult or otherwise make a statement that is moot or inapplicable


so i would find it interesting if those that frequent this board fill out a quick questionaire:

A. Your Age
B. Your Level of Education
C. Your Experience with Programming (list all applicable)
and finally
D. Your current Occupation and Paygrade

Ill start with the next post...

A. 18
B. High school graduate, now in a junior/community college.
C. Been programming in various languages since I was 12. Started with C, and have learned to different extents the following languages: C++, Python, Ruby, Lisp, Scheme, Perl, Java, and C#.
D. I'm a "Test Assistant", which means that I test the software my employer sells, report bugs, then verify that bugs get fixed.  I sometimes write trivial programs or help fix bugs found in the other programs. $10/hour.

A. 21
B. CS student
C. 40 credits or something. I know java well, other languages not well enough to do any hueg projects, but enough for more basic code.
D. I work on campus.

You're right OP -- there seems to be a hard core of a few CompSci grad students having a circlejerk in order to drive out any real content.  It's rare to find any thread that hasn't been put beyond salvage.

>>43
Oh God, you are so dreamy. Some stupid FORTRAN programmer confesses he can't tell define, let and set! apart, so you just FUCKING WHIP OUT LAMBDA EXPRESSIONS IN HIS FACE.

>>44
My point proven within a couple of minutes.

I do agree that the shitty copypasta in >>7 is very annoying, however.  The original tough programmer copypasta is much more amusing (and I happen to have written it as well).
I wrote both.

>>46
No, you wrote the shitty one, I wrote the one with IOCCC.

>>24

you didn't even get my prof's gender right.  way to fail

you don't sound like you actually enjoy programming.  i suggest you consult S[/spoiler]ICP

Where can I find a copy of S[/spoiler]ICP?

>>49
http://mitpress.mit.edu/s[/spoiler]icp/full-text/book/book.html

>>1
You're the guy that wanted help on collision detection in java.

I can tell.


5 REM >>1
10 PRINT "GTFO"
20 GOTO 10

The Annex is fucking awesome.

http://annex.wikia.com

>>53
I'm not sure whether I should vandalize or ignore.

>>54
The latter. He's probably thinking he'll reverse-psychology us into vandalism.

A. 22
B. I have a bachelor's degree in something unrelated to programming. Second year of college for CS right now.
C. tl;dw
D. What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

>>22
what school you goto, just asking, because the courses sound exactly the same in professor suckage, and language?

>>57
goto considered harmful.

>>1
Yes, I'd like to tell you my STORY,

I WROTE A POKER GAME IN AN OBFUSCATED WAY

>>59
No, you didn't.  You wrote it in a way that made sense when you wrote it.

>>59
That's ok.

Your beautiful assembly code was trashed when we trashed the hardware we ran on. Thanks to the grief you brought to this company, we do everything in Java from now on.

A. 18

B. finishing 2-year, transferring in the fall

C. Did research in 'computer science' over the summer where I wrote an interface to MySQL with PHP. I took a computer science class which was taught in Java. Needless to say, I'm frustrated with college education, so I'm reading SICP

D. I have a mouth-breather job at a publishing plant, where I suggest bug fixes and improvements to the in-house programmer's custom software and he sends me back emails saying things like "That's just idiot-proofing :-P" and forwarding it all to my manager

>>57

I'm afraid that if I told you, and you went to the same school as I, you'd easily figure out who I am (many of my peers are also internet nerds, and a small chunk of them are anon).  Let's just say I'm sick of all the construction going on. 

Everyone on /prog/ has solved p=np, no exceptions.

I wrote an interface to MySQL with PHP
You mean PhpMyAdmin? Arguably, I can reason that it might not have been your choice of topic and some idiot just had one of those EXCELLENT IDEAS and selected you, the chosen one, to implement it.

I wouldn't go around calling that ``research'', though, without using the appropriate ````''''. Research is designing a better clustering algorithm for running a distributed RDBMS. And so forth.

>>63
``South Lawn Project''? Also, I am not >>57.

Okay Im writing a program and need some help.

So I have an int Z and an array of ints called ArrayN;  I want to see if any of the ints in ArrayN sum to Z.  There is no limit to the precision of the int (can theoretically stretch to infinity).  I need a polynomial time algorithm which will solve this problem.

Please help I am sure all the lambda calculus people will quickly solve this.

Forget it, it's NP complete

Get the sum of all the integers in ArrayN. If it is less than Z, return -1, otherwise, recurse on ArrayN.

>>66-68
I lol'd, not because >>68 is pretending to be a fucking retard who doesn't understand computational theory, but simply because there has never been a meme response more appropriate than >>67.

I fucking love you guys.

>>1
A. 27
B. BSc Comp Sci
C. Lots of diverse experience, but particularly strong in C++, VB, SQL and x86 assembler
D. Programmer, $55k

>>70
I raged and lol'd at your selection of languages.

A. 50
B. I have an MA in Mathematics and an MSc in Astrophysics
C. 33 years, including FORTRAN IV, Pascal, 'C', Ada, Basic (IBM PC and Tektronix micros), Bliss, Z80 Assembler, TPU, C++, Java, C#, JavaScript, Python, Ruby, F#, Erlang, Scala -- and maybe one or two more that I've forgotten
D. Principal Design Engineer; which means everything from component design under a top-level architecture to coding and bug-fixing, with a large side order of old fashioned hacking to plug design oversights as a troubleshooter.  On enough to be very  comfortable, but not enough to be able to retire.

>>72
Why on earth do you come to /prog/, to mock us?

/prog/: dick waving contest

A. 10
B. My dad taught me programming. He's a really smart scientist He works at Zerox Park.
C. BASIC and FORTRON and ALGOL and Ada and Im reading DRAGON BOOK about compilers
D> I'm a kid!!!but when i grow up I want to be a computer scientist like my dad.

A. 19

B. CÉGEP (that's college in Québec, french canada). Currently in "techniques de l'informatique", it's kinda like computer science I guess - probably the same fucking thing actually(maybe with less math tho, meh, whatever, you get the idea).

C. learned BASIC first when I was like 15 since i was bored. Once I entered CÉGEP i started learning real shit: VB, C++, SQL, xHTML/CSS, php/MySQL -- and soon I'll add Java + Javascript + VB script to that list. I'm also currently learning python by myself since I want to. Why? Who the fuck knows...
I'm not some pro 1337 programmer... yet at least. I just like technology in general and programming random shit whenever I want to.

D. I only work during summer. Worked in a park last summer (was doing fucking everything, mostly setting shit up, for a bunch of "HOLY SHIT special 4-8k ppl national events omg" without any help, which was totally awesome) for $9.02/hour (6k/summer). This summer I'll probably get a job in IT, anything will do. I'm fucking desperate now and I NEED a job. I guess I'm just tired of doing nothing.

inb4 "THIS ISN'T A FUCKING BLOG"

>>75,34,6
It's sort of a sad progression, isn't it?

>>76
inb4 separation from canada

>>76
i started learning real shit: VB, Sepples, SQL, xHTML/CSS, php/MySQL -- and soon I'll add Java + Javascript + VB script to that list.
learning real shit
real
I lol'd. Also, forget about Python and learn Scheme with SICP, C with K&R and forget everything you know about Sepples before doing so, then learn Sepples, not before C. FFS.

IHBT

>>79
SICP = link plx, everyone here talks about it but we don't have that in french canada.

And I don't really know why they teached us C++ and not C... I'll probably end up learning it by myself. I suppose it's very similar anyway.