/prog/ - The truth behind #fortune

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:35 ID:Hk24i13h

I'm sick and tired of this age-old "omg i wanna do fortune how do i got fortunes????" faggotry that's rampant in /b/. To end it, here's the story behind the whole unfortunate #fortune thing.

In mid-2007 it was decided that anonymity would no longer be enforced in /b/ and so the name field that had been gone for so long was brought back. A new feature was also introduced, called "fortune," which worked with the #fortune command. To make it work, you had to put #fortune in the now non-existent name field. Fortune only worked (and still works) in /b/, nowhere else.

But then, after a while, things got a little out of hand and suddenly there were namefags galore. Due to the abso-fucking-brick-shitting-enormous name faggotry, the name field was quickly taken down. The guys who have fortune now had it when the name field was taken down, and now they're permanently stuck with it.

So no, you can't do fortune. It's simply impossible. The fortune fags are just pulling your fucking gullible newbie leg, so stop asking how to do it.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:36 ID:Heaven

ok bye

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:43 ID:Heaven

tldr
After 2005 ended it was decided that /b/ had gone to shit, and so nothing past that matters

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:49 ID:Heaven

>>1
I LOL'd.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:53 ID:Heaven

>>1
/prog/ is not /b/. Fucking sage.
Also, #fortune has been in 4chan since the very beginning, but nobody discovered it until recently. And it's not even something that 4chan came up with. Omikuji was around way before 4chan had it. And, no one is "permanently stuck with it", and there's other ways to get a fortune. You just have to be NOT RETARDED in order to turn it on or off -- admittedly a fairly difficult task to accomplish, considering this is /b/ you're talking about.

But let's make this /prog/-related, shall we? Here's the 0ch omikuji code. As you can see it's surprisingly simple. 4chan's #fortune is a little bit more involved, since it has to remove the #fortune from the name as well as edit the post text, so it's not just a quick s/// job.



sub execute



{



    my    $this = shift;



    my    ($sys,$form) = @_;



    



    if($form->Contain('FROM','!omikuji')){



        my $from = $form->Get('FROM');



        my $res = OMIKUJI(time());



        $from =~ s/!omikuji/<¥/b>【$res】<b>/;



        $form->Set('FROM',$from);



    }



    return 0;



}



#------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



#



#    おみくじ機能



#    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



#    @param    $seed    ランダムの種



#    @return    結果文字列



#



#------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



sub OMIKUJI



{



    my    ($seed) = @_;



    my    (@results,$count);



    



    @results = ('大吉','中吉','小吉','吉','末吉','凶','大凶');



    $count = @results;



    



    srand($seed);



    return($results[int(rand(65535)) % $count]);



}

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:55 ID:Heaven

Oh, nice job shiichan, adding an extra \n after every line. Wtf.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 14:28 ID:Hk24i13h

People should age this more.

And why is it that /prog/ is more active than all the other text boards combined?

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 14:49 ID:t90QtNrD

>>7
Because when you achieve Satori you have more time for posting pronunciation threads.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:04 ID:A8Ju91/T

>>7
/prog/ isn't really about programming... it's about some kind of engineering, or art, or magic perhaps.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:07 ID:DKjZQM3/

>>9
It's like geometry isn't about measuring the earth.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:12 ID:Heaven

lol learn 2 javascipt
javascript:void(document.forms[0].name.value="#fortune");

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:15 ID:zCaffYHG

Speaking of secrets: try putting fusianasan in the name field of a Kareha board...

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:20 ID:Heaven

>>12
on 2ch, mokorikomo and yamazaki have similar effects.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:23 ID:A8Ju91/T

>>12
Nice: http://bbs.chiisai.net/download/kareha.pl/1181317686/9

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 16:01 ID:Heaven

>>13
And fusianasan, because ALL OF THEM CAME FROM 2CHANNEL.

Kareha doesn't get it right anyway because it erases all the text, so stuff like http://fusianasan.2ch.net/ won't work.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 21:24 ID:UpL2EavK

>>11
javascript:void(self.main.document.forms[0].name.value="#fortune");

Should work in frames mode.

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-22 4:39 ID:dU3shLqT

>>9
it this some kind of christian magic?

Name: sage 2007-09-22 4:40 ID:dU3shLqT

fortune still works if you use another board

Name: !4X8vLLNDE2 2007-09-22 7:04 ID:6Ra4s5pz

>>18
lol

Name: Anonymous 2007-09-22 9:04 ID:jbA4LxSB

>>17
No, Christians use Perl.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 1:13

Does it still work today?

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 2:32

I am a Perl magician, ask me anything.

Name: !4X8vLLNDE2 2009-09-14 6:33

wat

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 7:55

fatget

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 15:07

$ fortune
You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 15:31

[robert@haskal] fortune Your present plans will be successful.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 16:16

[13:14][0.52][richardcmongler@eeepcee:~][^75%][0]
$ /usr/games/fortune
FORTUNE'S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REAL-LIFE SCIENCE FICTION: #14
What to do...
    if reality disappears?
    Hope this one doesn't happen to you. There isn't much that you
    can do about it. It will probably be quite unpleasant.

    if you meet an older version of yourself who has invented a time
    traveling machine, and has come from the future to meet you?
    Play this one by the book. Ask about the stock market and cash in.
    Don't forget to invent a time traveling machine and visit your
    younger self before you die, or you will create a paradox. If you
    expect this to be tricky, make sure to ask for the principles
    behind time travel, and possibly schematics. Never, NEVER, ask
    when you'll die, or if you'll marry your current SO.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 16:17

>>27
eeepcee
You're an asus!

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 16:19

$ fortune

This is not ubuntu, faggot.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 17:51

>>29
No, fortune has always been an integral part of what makes Unix Unix. It's even specified in the Posix standard.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 5:09

>>27
Why is fortune under [m]/usr/games[/b]? THIS SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN! Move it to /usr/bin right now.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 12:22

Just for you >>31-kun, I shall symlink it to /usr/local/bin, but no more due to your being so demanding.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 14:11

anonymous@4chan:~$ fortune | cowsay ________________________________________ / BOFH excuse #397: \ | | | T-1's congested due to porn traffic to | \ the news server. / ---------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 14:15

>>33
This is not ubuntu, faggot.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 15:12

>>34
Your clairvoyance is truly amazing anon-kun! To be able to divine just what distro and o/s >>33-kun is running merely from seeing his command prompt. Simply amazing and awe inspiring.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 15:17

>>35
Actually, I saw an invisible post, and decided to say the first thing that came to my mind to see Void's reaction. I do that.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 16:49

>>36
well carry on then, lads

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 16:51

>>1
implying someone with a clue still gives a fuck about /b/

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 17:34

>>38
replying to a post from 2007 (even though the reply would also have been relevant in 2007).

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 17:55

I miss fortunes.
______
If you believe in Jesus Christ and are 100% proud of it put this as your signature.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 17:57

>>40
Then you're the only one

______
If you believe in fictional moon men and are 100% proud of it put this as your signature

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 18:01

I miss gay sex

______
If you still have imaginery friends and are 100% proud of it put this as your signature

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 18:29

I cannot miss fortunes because I stopped browsing /b/ almost 3 years ago.

Name: fasf !.CzKQna1OU 2009-09-15 19:29

porst

Name: !4X8vLLNDE2 2009-09-15 19:30

post2

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-16 13:49

#fortune goes on all fields

Name: Anonymous 2010-11-27 21:37

Name: 2011-10-18 18:17

Name: sage 2011-10-18 20:13

Smells like 2007 in here.

Name: Anonymous 2011-10-18 20:30

[17:28][0.35][mryback@delld620:~][^100%][0]
$ /usr/games/fortune
Q: How many Perl monks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Perl monk stays out of the way.

Name: not gay 2012-07-10 10:26

Your all gay

Name: Anonymous 2012-07-10 10:43

Wheel of #fortune

Name: !4X8vLLNDE2 2012-07-10 10:54

am i doin it rite???????
XD

Name: Anonymous 2012-07-10 12:48

>>54
/polecat kebabs/

Name: Gay 2012-07-22 16:39

How'd you know I was gay

Name: not gay 2012-08-24 23:59

niggers

Name: Anonymous 2012-08-25 2:55

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BITCH FUCK SHITS!YOU NIGGER NAZI ASSES! YOU CAN FUCK HELL! BAN YU ALL! YOU GET BANNED! YOU GAVE OUT MY PASSWORD!I AM THE MOST FUCKING NGGER MATURE! GIVE ME BACK THE PASSWRD!

ASKFHSed?Gsdfghsdfkhgbafgbhbgfhbfs fukk sex you nigger cock pussy! i fuck yhou you have satan you canada ass whovdoesn't beleive in Christ! I HOPE YOU ALL GET RAPES!

Name: !4X8vLLNDE2 2012-11-05 18:28

Lol madbro

Name: Heaven 2012-11-05 20:06

Your fortune: Godly luck

rolling for godly

Name: Anonymous 2012-11-05 22:45

$ fortune
A famous Lisp Hacker noticed an Undergraduate sitting in front of a Xerox
1108, trying to edit a complex Klone network via a browser. Wanting to help,
the Hacker clicked one of the nodes in the network with the mouse, and asked
"what do you see?" Very earnestly, the Undergraduate replied, "I see a
cursor." The Hacker then quickly pressed the boot toggle at the back of
the keyboard, while simultaneously hitting the Undergraduate over the head
with a thick Interlisp Manual. The Undergraduate was then Enlightened.

The truth behind #fortune

1 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:35 ID:Hk24i13h

2 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:36 ID:Heaven

3 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:43 ID:Heaven

4 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:49 ID:Heaven

5 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:53 ID:Heaven

6 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 12:55 ID:Heaven

7 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 14:28 ID:Hk24i13h

8 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 14:49 ID:t90QtNrD

9 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:04 ID:A8Ju91/T

10 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:07 ID:DKjZQM3/

11 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:12 ID:Heaven

12 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:15 ID:zCaffYHG

13 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:20 ID:Heaven

14 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 15:23 ID:A8Ju91/T

15 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 16:01 ID:Heaven

16 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-21 21:24 ID:UpL2EavK

17 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-22 4:39 ID:dU3shLqT

18 Name: sage 2007-09-22 4:40 ID:dU3shLqT

19 Name: !4X8vLLNDE2 2007-09-22 7:04 ID:6Ra4s5pz

20 Name: Anonymous 2007-09-22 9:04 ID:jbA4LxSB

21 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 1:13

22 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 2:32

23 Name: !4X8vLLNDE2 2009-09-14 6:33

24 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 7:55

25 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 15:07

26 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 15:31

27 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 16:16

28 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 16:17

29 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 16:19

30 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-14 17:51

31 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 5:09

32 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 12:22

33 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 14:11

34 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 14:15

35 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 15:12

36 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 15:17

37 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 16:49

38 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 16:51

39 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 17:34

40 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 17:55

41 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 17:57

42 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 18:01

43 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-15 18:29

44 Name: fasf !.CzKQna1OU 2009-09-15 19:29

45 Name: !4X8vLLNDE2 2009-09-15 19:30

46 Name: Anonymous 2009-09-16 13:49

48 Name: Anonymous 2010-11-27 21:37

49 Name: 2011-10-18 18:17

50 Name: sage 2011-10-18 20:13

51 Name: Anonymous 2011-10-18 20:30

52 Name: not gay 2012-07-10 10:26

53 Name: Anonymous 2012-07-10 10:43

54 Name: !4X8vLLNDE2 2012-07-10 10:54

55 Name: Anonymous 2012-07-10 12:48

56 Name: Gay 2012-07-22 16:39

57 Name: not gay 2012-08-24 23:59

58 Name: Anonymous 2012-08-25 2:55

59 Name: !4X8vLLNDE2 2012-11-05 18:28

60 Name: Heaven 2012-11-05 20:06

61 Name: Anonymous 2012-11-05 22:45