The truth behind #fortune

I'm sick and tired of this age-old "omg i wanna do fortune how do i got fortunes????" faggotry that's rampant in /b/. To end it, here's the story behind the whole unfortunate #fortune thing.

In mid-2007 it was decided that anonymity would no longer be enforced in /b/ and so the name field that had been gone for so long was brought back. A new feature was also introduced, called "fortune," which worked with the #fortune command. To make it work, you had to put #fortune in the now non-existent name field. Fortune only worked (and still works) in /b/, nowhere else.

But then, after a while, things got a little out of hand and suddenly there were namefags galore. Due to the abso-fucking-brick-shitting-enormous name faggotry, the name field was quickly taken down. The guys who have fortune now had it when the name field was taken down, and now they're permanently stuck with it.

So no, you can't do fortune. It's simply impossible. The fortune fags are just pulling your fucking gullible newbie leg, so stop asking how to do it.

[13:14][0.52][richardcmongler@eeepcee:~][^75%][0]
$ /usr/games/fortune
FORTUNE'S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REAL-LIFE SCIENCE FICTION: #14
What to do...
    if reality disappears?
    Hope this one doesn't happen to you.  There isn't much that you
    can do about it.  It will probably be quite unpleasant.

    if you meet an older version of yourself who has invented a time
    traveling machine, and has come from the future to meet you?
    Play this one by the book.  Ask about the stock market and cash in.
    Don't forget to invent a time traveling machine and visit your
    younger self before you die, or you will create a paradox.  If you
    expect this to be tricky, make sure to ask for the principles
    behind time travel, and possibly schematics.  Never, NEVER, ask
    when you'll die, or if you'll marry your current SO.