Anti-social Programmers Need New Job

OK, so I have been a programming since I graduated 14 years ago, and I am still a programmer, and I am sick of my job.

I really want to do something else with my life, but then I lack social skills, conversational skills, management skills, modelling skills... you name it.  I am a fatass programmer who is still shamefully single.

So, how the heck can I move away from the only career I know, though I am sick of it???

Any born again programmer here who can advice?

Damn.  see?  I can't even type.  so many typos.  It's a shame that I even have a college degree.  What a farce.

Gigolo Programmer

Be a bounty hunter. You'll catch criminals and lose weight doing so. Or work for the FBI a.k.a. the 4chan party van.

There's always the circus.

Buy a trampoline

>>1
Join an underground hacker gang

>>4
Howabout vigilante instead, plus FBI doesn't hire VIPPERS, we're too cool.

Bounty hunters ARE vigilantes!

>>1
why don't you try to find a girl instead?

>>7
You mean, people that lives on their parent basement  ?

yeah >>1 do that

Anonymous Battle Programmer. You get to drop meteorites on ships.

>>12
Battle Programmer Anonymous even.

Buy a russian wife

Try reading another kind of books, non technical ones. Read many as you (should) have read technical ones. You will turn from a nerd bitch to a cultural bitch. But at least there are more girls the available options.

Put your 1337 hacking skills to the test and join the FBI or the NSA.  If you can't hang, then join your local police force.  If you still can't hang, then I dunno lol Candlejack thre

get a job on a cruise ship. doesn't matter doing what kind of shitty job, food prep, janitorial, etc. cause, come on, it's a CRUISE SHIP!

>>1

Are you me from the future?

I'm 26... but I don't even have a job yet.  My city is full of nothing but OMG SCALED WEB ENTERPRISE CLIENT-INTERFACE MANAGEMENT positions because it's a state capital and this whole state is Microsoft's bitch.

>>18
Actually, most other cities are the same OMG SCALED WEB ENTERPRISE CLIENT-INTERFACE MANAGEMENT too except it also comes in non-Microsoft flavor (Java, Ruby on Rails, Python, Perl, Shitty Shit, etc).  90% of programming jobs are ultimately for the enterprise anyways.

Put your education and experience to use, go freelance, pick your contracts, enjoy coding whatever the hell you want.

umm yeah, and there are no other freelancing programmers out there trying to do the exact same thing, only they live on what you throw out the grabagecan.. i see them outside my window now... scary..
Well i guess that if your a good programmer you can freelance, but you won't exactly have the most stable income :/

>>20 That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard. You have to be programmer-famous before you can even try something like that.

I think you should start eating healthy and join a Gym. Become a vegetarian for a year, not to save animals but since it will reduce your weight and improve your health. Then your find yourself far more active and full of energy and committed to do something. I went through a similar situation myself with wanting to change a career path. I went to a local college and looked at all the courses they run and choose to do a part time biology diploma(I assume your American, i don't know how it works there but its only a £100 a year for exam fees here, might cost you a lot in America for all i know). After those two year i had been working for 5 years and had saved up quite a bit of money and could easily support myself for a few years. My whole family was hassling me that i quit my job so i just took off to Madrid in Spain and just went around a several places in Europe for 5 months and 1 week. I had two temp bar jobs which were real fun and spent 3 week rolling out a network for an Internet cafe since i was a sysadmin before.
I came back home to the UK and didn't do much for a month, got a job on a market and did all sorts of festivals (you would probably call them hippie fest) and i met loads more people and some how got a job in an alt shop with a piercing apprenticeship on the side, something i have long been interested in. Its been two years now and i earn less than i use to but im really happy, i love my job, i have lots of friends and a girlfriend(maybe soon wife) and couldn't be happier even though i work a good 12 hours six days a week lol. One day when i finish my apprenticeship i can move somewhere else and startup my own studio and make good money but im great for now. And i am doing a 5 year open University course in biology to add to my qualifications.

Oh shit im going on, just do what you want man or your end up retiring wishing you enjoyed life. Nothing thats worth it is ever easy.

RISE, ANCIENT ONE
RISE MASTURBATING FROM YOUR GRAVE!

>>25
*grabs dick*

>>1
Read SICP.  That is all.

>>26
*holds penis*

*takes hold of cock*

>>2
who gives a crap about typos?

>>15
technical books and culture are for people who can't handle real books like SICP and K&R.

>>31
s/technical/non-technical/;
damn. now i need to commit seppuku

>>32
s/uku/les/
damn. now i need to commit sepples

>>3
Brilliant.

this thread lacks SEO.

I wish I was here 3 years back :(

Have you found your Jesus today?

>>35
http://cairnarvon.rotahall.org/

>>38
Ooh, an update

sage

>>37
yes ,he hid under my bed.

Buy a farm, some cows and a woman. Live the good life!

>>42
Don't do this, it's a horrible idea.
If you desire to be a farmer, then instead buy a copy of harvest moon and play that in your free time.
Farmers are very angry people, and farming communities they don't like outsiders. You may be chased away with pitchforks.

Join a sports club. You'll lose weight and gain valuable socialising experience.

>>43
is that a neil young album?

>>37
What, he got lost again?

Hi, I can spam /prog/ too, you faggot.

Also, smoke weed everyday.

^{Back to /b/, ``GNAA Faggot''}

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Are you a NIGGER?
Are you a GAY NIGGER?

If you answered "Yes" to all of the above questions, then GNAA (GAY NIGGER ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) might be exactly what you've been looking for!

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