Anti-social Programmers Need New Job

OK, so I have been a programming since I graduated 14 years ago, and I am still a programmer, and I am sick of my job.

I really want to do something else with my life, but then I lack social skills, conversational skills, management skills, modelling skills... you name it.  I am a fatass programmer who is still shamefully single.

So, how the heck can I move away from the only career I know, though I am sick of it???

Any born again programmer here who can advice?

Be a bounty hunter. You'll catch criminals and lose weight doing so. Or work for the FBI a.k.a. the 4chan party van.