My first act would be to abolish the Presidency. Presidents can't be bothered to obey the US Constitution anyway, so the Constitutionality of such an act is not relevant.
Anyone who said "wait, you can't do that!" can be simply handled by stating that as President, I can do whatever I want since the US Constitution gave me direct powers to protect the nation. Since the Presidency is such a threat, I choose to abolish it.
THAT would send America's teeming masses of morons into a tizzy, which should last about 4 years, which is long enough. During those years, I'd collect my outrageous $200K per year for doing nothing, and I'd go fishing and travel and show up in other countries just to laugh at their governments.
During those 4 years, the Congress would have to "run" the nation (since I'd tell my Vice President to stay home too). As elected and so-called representatives of the people of the nation, I'm OK with that.
Very near the end of the 4 years of a President-less America, I'd show up at the Congress -- tanned and healthy from my globe-trotting -- and remind them that per my order as President, the Presidency had been abolished, hence there would be no election held for the Presidency. If that doesn't work, I'd just declare Martial Law and send the Congresscritters home at the end of bayonets, and use Martial Law to delegate all federal powers to the states. States would have to levy taxes and maintain previously federal properties (including military bases) within their borders. The only federal power left operating would be a RedCream Tax, which would be a 0.1% tax levied on all imports, which is to be paid to me until my death, and is my reward for creating the first Do-No-Harm Presidency in American history. I'd use the tax to hire mercs from the previous federal forces, and they'd be my enforcement arm.
And finally, during EACH and EVERY second of my Presidency, I'd wear a holster, and in that holster I'd have a big fucking handgun, and in that handgun I'd have big fucking bullets, as the US Constitution's Second Amendment clearly says that I can do. EACH. AND. EVERY. SECOND. With luck, the rest of fucking America would see me packing heat all the time, and will wake up and start keeping and bearing arms like they should have been doing all along.
Well, that's what I'd do.
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Anonymous2008-05-01 6:45
I was thinking something more along the lines of a list of values and preferred systems of government, I will take it you are apathetic and kleptocratic. What if the states decide to use their federal powers to reinstate the presidency and hold elections the moment you leave?
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Anonymous2008-05-01 9:05
>>2
OMFG!! It is true. You ARE a junior in high school!
It's all about EVIDENCE, right? Well, we now have concrete EVIDENCE!
>>3
The original design of the Republic of the United States was fairly good and should be followed even if force is used to re-establish it.
As for what the states do, I suppose that if they decide to do an end run around my Martial Law, then they will create the same mess again. However, giving up all that power? I strongly doubt even 1/3rd of the state legislatures would decide on such a course. And the problem of the donor/recipient states for federal largesse can be ameliorated by bribing the donor states with control over federal territories (which seem disproportionate in the federal-recipient states, since they have large, empty quarters).
>>4
So, you're saying you're BUTTHURT and cannot offer a rebuttal to my opinion? Yes, I get that sort of thing from sophomoric jizzquaffers all the time.
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Anonymous2008-05-02 3:20
Urm... if you get rid of taxes what about the poor? Who need help? Would you just like them wallow in there misery?
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Anonymous2008-05-02 3:51
>>6
Apparently they get the opportunity to eat their dead.
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Anonymous2008-05-02 4:41
>>6
This is an honest application of capitalism, there is no riff-raff to keep the plebs doped.
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Anonymous2008-05-02 7:17
>>5
They would create a puppet president which takes into consideration those who want a president which will include most voters (unless the lack of a president turned the US into a super happy utopia) and allow them to retain their federal powers. Then there is the fact that Red states would support a republican president and blue states would support a democrat president because the president will allow them what they want to begin with with the added bonus of push their policies on other states.
>>6
Read what I said again. The fed would drop out of the equation. If the states want to take up taxing and spending, they would be free to do it.
As for the poor, they are fucked no matter what happens. However, having the federal government off their backs would be an improvement. True, the taking away of federal largesse would hurt some of them, but those are the people who largely need to be hurt by the denial of the Welfare State.
>>9
I already established that the Red States being primarily federal recipient states would SEEM to have a lot to lose at first, but overall their taking over of federal lands (with wood, grazing, mining and OIL) would more than make up for that.
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Anonymous2008-05-02 12:43
in b4 fail and invasion
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Anonymous2008-05-02 18:35
>>10
Federal lands? What is this? The 12th century?
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Anonymous2008-05-03 3:16
>>12
because of human mentallity, yes. But for some reason...a lot of people think it's the 21st century...oh does time increase intelligence, now? Strange ideologies people have...wonder where it comes from...*Ah-ch-ego-ah*
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AnOnYmOuS 2U2008-05-03 3:26
It is my ideal and faith that utilizes imagination and rationalization to bring me back to reality of the moment. When someone talks about something, they are voicing their opinion, belief, idea, experience or thoughts. People that hear these, depending upon the individual, will either listen and discover more about that person voicing their opinion or, and most commonly, the listener will experience a glazing of the eyes due to inexperience in being involved with communication and cooperation, especially within their own involvement; but the most tragic is when the listener insites the conversation with good intentions, but then cuts off the conversation by stating their opinion, belief, idea, experience or thoughts as if they are more important and thereby the person originally speaking is thereby made to experience a feeling of not mattering. This is simply the effect of human communication. Test this, I would like to know more about it from people who are genuinely involved in communication and cooperation.
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Anonymous2008-05-03 5:49
>>14
tl;dr >>13
Oh sorry, you are right. The federal lands are just like the King's lands and us peasants are tied to his fields for our natural lives.
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Anonymous2008-05-04 3:25
>>15
I was almost willing to allow that he's an idiot and misread Federal for Feudal.
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Anonymous2008-05-04 3:53
Not American so I could never be president but what I'd start with is your school system.
It works for some but the current system seems to produce too many jocks and retards. I'd repackage collages as universities in order to increase intelligence of American graduates and make them totally accessible to all based on grades, and remove the mechanism where the rich can buy their children a place at a better uni.
From primary school upwards I would have metric measurement taught as the norm and teach children to use real words like pavement and cupboard instead of horrid slang like sidewalk and closet. I'd also teach children the difference between "I couldn't care less" and "I could care less" as a matter of urgency.
I would also ban coffee and replace it with decent tea as tea promotes intelligence. There hasn't been decent tea in the US since a bunch of jumped up hippies that didn't want to pay their fare share of tax threw a load of it into the water.
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AnOnYmOuS 2U2008-05-09 3:32
Well, first as we have demonstrated in past events, we don't give a shit about our public school systems, public health care, public anything! It's just not popular enough, and a bad investment from a self-serving businessman's perspective. So, yeah, they'll talk the talk, but when it comes to walking the walk they stumble everytime. Anyone care to contribute or debate these statements?
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Anonymous2008-05-09 23:57
Your mom is a fucking cave and smells like cheese.
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AnOnYmOuS 2U2008-05-10 1:40
OK, we'll save that debate for another time, but what about my prior inquiry? Who here can pick a president or someone in congress who has actually done more than 51% of what they claimed they would do?
First of, i ain't a nazi, nor a racist, realist n' darwinist are more fitting terms
Step one, babies born with handicaps so severe that normal life is impossible would be terminated to improve general genetic viability.
The same would be applied to inbred childen.
Schools and universities would be free for all, with multiple safety nets to catch poorly preforming students and taking action to improve their performance, be it due to social, financial or legal problems.
Free medicare for all, with thorough tagging of genetic faults found that way
Jail would focus heavily on rehabilitation, including extensive career training, but also regular mental evaluation of inmates with unremorseful killers, rapists ect. being moved to lifetime work camps.
Firearms being restricted to police officers and security guards on duty, imposing massive fines and prison sentences upon people defying the ban.
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Anonymous2008-05-10 19:17
>>22
You're right.
You're not a nazi or racist.
You are a douchebag.
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Anonymous2008-05-10 19:24
>>Step one, babies born with handicaps so severe that normal life is impossible
u mean niggers, amirite?
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Diakos2008-05-10 19:25
>>23
Actually amoral cynical bastard son of a drunk dockworker is a accurate description, but that does not make my ideas any less viable.
Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime
His sister had another, she paid it for a lime.
She put the lime in the coconut, and drank them both up
She put the lime in the coconut, and drank them both up
She put the lime in the coconut,
Called the doctor, woke him up, and said,
“Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take,
I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?
I say, Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take,
I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?”
“Now let me get this straight;
You put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up
You put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up
You put the lime in the coconut,
called your doctor, woke him up, and said,
‘Doctor, ain’t there nothing I can take,
I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?
I say, Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take,
I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?’
You put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both down,
You put the lime in the cocount, you’re such a silly woman!
Put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both together,
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning.”