Return Styles: Pseud0ch, Terminal, Valhalla, NES, Geocities, Blue Moon. Entire thread

So I got some dumb bitch pregnant

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-25 1:08

I only fucked her a few times to make my ex jealous, she was five years younger than her.
Funny thing is I've been fucking my ex and it looks like we might get back together as she's deciding that she doesn't want any of those other assholes who aren't going to put up with her kinky fantasies.
What the fuck am I gonna do though? I've got some stupid seventeen year old coke whore pregnant. I always wanted kids, but not with some retarded girl who lies to me about her age, where she lives, whether she has a job, and of course, the kicker, she lied about being on the pill.
Why did it have to be her? Of all the girls I've ever known, all the ones I wanted to keep the kid fucking aborted it and this crazy bitch wants to keep it because she knows I'm not an asshole who will run away.
I'm not going back to her, but what the fuck do I say to the ex I'm getting back with/fucking that I love?
Why am I such a retard. How do I get myself in these situations.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 15:48

>>15
I'm fucked
Yes, yes you are. But at least you have us, right? Riiiiight?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 15:58

>>3
Fucking socks is not bad compared to the situation that has been put before you. At least socks don't lie, cheat, walk away, or lie about being "on the pill".

But Leet, I dunno what to tell you, bitches are fucking psycho, and often the pussy ain't worth the fucking trouble, lest you run into retarded situations like the one you're in. Get some kind of test done to see if the progeny isn't yours, bolt the fuck outta there, if it is, get that bitch to abort it.

That's really all I can tell you, and I doubt other /lounge/rs here have any better advice.

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-25 16:13

>>16
*big hug*
>>17
Update.
The young girl and I had a lengthy skype conversation, and she's getting abortion.
I feel like a cunt and a murderer, but shit, I guess it's better than the alternative.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 16:16

>>18
The young girl and I had a lengthy skype conversation, and she's getting abortion.
I feel like a cunt and a murderer, but shit, I guess it's better than the alternative.

But, is it actually yours? Or do you just not give a fuck at this point?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 16:17

>>18
Nice work! *bro-five*

Name: Bob 2011-01-25 16:28

>>18
Technically, you've had no part in 'killing' the unborn child.

Plus, it's only sentient if it's self aware in my book.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 16:48

How many dead fetuses are you the daddy of?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 16:49

abortion sends baby to god faster!

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 16:59

>>23
So abortions are actually increasing the angel population, thereby benefiting God?
Wow. So the anti-choice guys are actually working against the divine plan!

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-25 16:59

>>19
Not entirely sure, but I'm glad the situation is going away. But of couse I give a fuck, I'm not totally heartless.
>>20
lol.
>>21
Well, I get the feeling that she might have been using it to try and get me to go back with her. If I had she would have kept the child. So I think I am responsible slightly. The sentient thing is another discussion, I agree with you but I'm still not really a fan of abortion.

On the plus side, my ex is rationalising this by thinking it was probably not mine and some other guys anyway, so who knows how that shit will pan out.

All in all, I've dodged a bullet here.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 17:29

>>25
Well, even though I'm a /lounge/ troll, I must say I am glad a nice guy like you won't have to put up with the kind of crazy shit that goes on when bitches get pregnant.

Also, I know how you feel. But you are much luckier than I, as the situation I was in turned out rather awkward when my ex decided, out of some overdeveloped motherly instinct, to go ahead with having the thing. So now she is some seven months pregnant, living with a guy two years younger who wouldn't make anything close to a decent father, unsure whether the kid is mine or his (I know for a fact it ain't that hipster faggot's).

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 17:30

>>25-26
SPAWHBTC

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 17:37

>>27
Go back to /prog/.

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-25 17:47

>>26
Shit man, that's fucked.
DNA test time? Prove it's yours? Or maybe just kill everyone involved?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 17:56

>>29
I'm fucked up enough as it is, which means with a bitch like her the kid could only turn out to be something like a schizophrenic demigod. I like the idea of releasing an illegitimate spawn like that into this world. All in all, I'm kind of excited about it.

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-25 18:01

>>30
That's a brilliant way to look at something as inevitable as that situation.
You should start making him a super villian costume.

Name: Bob 2011-01-25 18:03

>>26,29

Killing won't solve anything. Scratch that, it likely will.

>>26, do you feel you're fit to take care of the child? If so, teach the little fag to do so.

Then, slowly back the fuck out.

Or fucking kill everyone, your choice.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 19:46

>>1
What's the matter, can't post this on /r9k/?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-25 20:01

>>31
I shall. If possible I will also move to direct some important aspect of his/her moral and intellectual development from behind the shadows of distance, wait a few years, then adopt the child as my own when I have a laboratory or something capable of nurturing its destructive potential.

>>32
do you feel you're fit to take care of the child? If so, teach the little fag to do so.
Realistically, I am. Or, at the very least, could be responsible, caring and supportive enough that it wouldn't turn out like me. Actually I loved her so much I thought I'd be alright with, get this, letting her, the kid and the "father" live with me, allowing my presence to persist as only an uncle-figure.

Despite that, she wants nothing to do with me. Therefore I figure I'll let her sit in misery with our little secret while every passing year she watches the child with a crippling mixture of shame and regret. I still want to pull an "I'm your father" deal when it gets older, though. Depending on how awesome/successful/crazy I become, it'll be a real mindfuck for the both of us.

Name: Bob 2011-01-25 20:28

>>34
I like it!

Name: VIPPER 2011-01-26 3:19

>>32
Killing won't solve anything
That is nonsense dude.

Name: Bob 2011-01-26 7:49

>>36
Did you stop reading from there, VIPPER?

Name: VIPPER 2011-01-26 8:39

>>37
Nope

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-26 9:33

>>34
Man, the idea of living with them was terrible. I've seen it in action and it would tear you apart.
I see you're thinking that one day you're going to tell the child.
Try and make it sooner rather than later. Otherwise you'll never get to see it.
It's good you're not just one of those fucks who would skip town and not care though.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-26 9:56

Well, you clearly deserve each other, being a vile troll of a subhuman, yourself. Get married.

Name: VIPPER 2011-01-26 10:17

Also this thread belongs on /r9k/ /b/.
Not VIP QUALITY.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-26 15:26

wow the homosexuals destroy another marriage somehow

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-27 20:34

Abortion is on Tuesday.
I feel sick to my stomach.

Name: !L33tUKZj51 2011-01-27 21:00

Twitter update:

Ok, turns out that feeling was just from some bad black pudding.
Cheers until next time bloody wankers! xD

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-27 21:05

>>44
You're an anus.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-27 21:31

>>43
I'd feel awful too. But eh, it happens, man. Just don't do that kind of shit again!

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-27 21:56

>>46
Next time it's going straight up her pooper.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-27 22:53

>>47
That's right.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-27 22:54

>>47
That's right.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-27 22:58

Oh, hell, again!
That's right.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-28 3:32

surprising multiple of 17 GET

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-28 3:33

deck of cards GET

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-28 5:02

deck of cards including the card with the rules for poker on it but not including the jokers GET

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-28 5:13

atomic number of xenon get

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-28 5:21

doubles get

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-28 11:26

>>51-55
Go back to /b/.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-28 17:45

I can imagine the dialogue like this:  "look at you, you stupid retard, bouncing on my dick.  there's the mirror on that wall -- look at yourself.  dummy."

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-29 6:57

>>57
* dialog

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-29 6:57

>>57
* dialog

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-29 6:57

>>57
* dialog

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-29 6:57

>>57
* dialog

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-29 6:57

>>57
* dialog

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-29 6:57

>>57
* dialog

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-29 6:57

>>57
* dialog

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-29 15:13

That was pretty much a life fail.
Should have gotten her a morning after pill?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-29 15:32

>>65
* failure

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-29 16:37

>>65
What if he got the bitch pregnant in the morning?  Do you have to wait a whole day to take it, or do you try to take it really fast while it is still morning?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-29 16:52

>>67
You read the directions, obviously.

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-29 17:49

>>65
I only found out six weeks later.
She lied about being on the pill

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 2:09

Why am I such a retard. How do I get myself in these situations.

Son, I hate to tell you this, but... ..you're a nigger.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 5:52

>>70
Tsk.

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-30 13:09

>>70
I'm whiter than snow. I'm a pale Englishman who doesn't see the sun enough.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 17:28

>>72
Tsk.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 17:35

>>72
Then go outside you carrot cat.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 17:46

Speaking of white Englishmen, riddle me this: are the Black Irish considered niggers?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 17:51

>>75
Why wouldn't they be?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 17:52

>>73
That doesn't warrant a "tsk".

But, >>75 certainly does.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 17:52

>>75
Why wouldn't they be?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 17:57

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 18:03

>>79
"Black" Irish are still white. And no, they wouldn't be considered as such. Now, go back to Stormfront, you uneducated pig farmer.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 18:19

>>80
NIGGER

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 22:54

>>81
Tsk.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-30 23:08

>>82
NIGGER

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 0:28

>>83
Tsk.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 1:11

>>84
NIGGER

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 1:59

86 GET

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 2:06

>>85
Tsk.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 2:16

NIGGER DUBS

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 3:06

>>88
Tsk.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 3:24

>>89
NIGGER

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 4:59

>>90
Tsk.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 5:41

>>91
NIGGER
You do realize you're indirectly bumping this thread and posting "NIGGERS every time you "tsk," right?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 13:05

>>92
Yet, you choose to shitpost by posting it. That speaks more to the fact that you can't control yourself; more so than it does for >>91

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-31 14:12

So I had my ex round this weekend. It was beautiful. All weekend I kept asking her to take me back. She said some bullshit about needing to think. Fuck's sake, we've been on and off again for about two months, she's had enough time to think. I asked her again before she went. Apparently I'm a bastard for upsetting her. Lolwut?
And the fact that it breaks my heart when we're aart, and that because we're not going out she can just jump on any cock she wants is totally fine. Fuck that. Well I told her I'm sick of being messed about and that's the end of it. Apparently "Things aren't that simle, it's not always black or white". What the fuck ever, it is to me. Either you're my girl or you're not. I guess she isn't.
God I hate women sometimes.

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-31 14:53

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 15:02

>>94,95
I'm sorry, bro, but I like this thread better when it's about tsking niggers.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 15:07

But hey, I still linked >>95 to a girl with who I wallow in despair together. Cheers.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 15:15

Name: VIPPER 2011-01-31 15:27

JEWS

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 16:53

I'm guessing everything went well, Leet?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 16:59

Sarah Palindrome GET

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 17:01

>>101
Go back to /b/

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-31 17:36

>>100
Not really. I didn't get back the girl that I love, she's back in another city now.
And tomorrow the young girl has the abortion. Woo. Fucking great.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 17:45

>>103
Will you feel guilty when she's infertile for the rest of her life and dies of ovarian cancer at age 30?

Name: !L33tUKZj5I 2011-01-31 17:52

>>104
Not really, it's her own stupid fault. Shouldn't have lied about being on the pill.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 18:18

small peugeot get

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 20:55

>>105
I once came inside a girl in the heat of the moment, right after she called me "onii-chan" while begging like crazy for it. Watched as she douched her vagina in the shower afterward. But how could I not, just once?!

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 21:14

>>107
Bareback is the only way to fuck.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 21:17

>>108
How is that relevant? In any case, I agree.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 21:17

>>107
"onii-chan"
She called you "sister"?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 21:29

>>110
You don't even know basic Japanese?

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 21:43

>>109
Condoms are for betas and fags.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 22:25

>>112
Ah. Yes. Yes indeed.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 22:27

>>112-113
Back to /soc/, please.

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 22:52

>>114
Never touched the place. At least we're remembering to sage!

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