So I got some dumb bitch pregnant

I only fucked her a few times to make my ex jealous, she was five years younger than her.
Funny thing is I've been fucking my ex and it looks like we might get back together as she's deciding that she doesn't want any of those other assholes who aren't going to put up with her kinky fantasies.
What the fuck am I gonna do though? I've got some stupid seventeen year old coke whore pregnant. I always wanted kids, but not with some retarded girl who lies to me about her age, where she lives, whether she has a job, and of course, the kicker, she lied about being on the pill.
Why did it have to be her? Of all the girls I've ever known, all the ones I wanted to keep the kid fucking aborted it and this crazy bitch wants to keep it because she knows I'm not an asshole who will run away.
I'm not going back to her, but what the fuck do I say to the ex I'm getting back with/fucking that I love?
Why am I such a retard. How do I get myself in these situations.

>>25
Well, even though I'm a /lounge/ troll, I must say I am glad a nice guy like you won't have to put up with the kind of crazy shit that goes on when bitches get pregnant.

Also, I know how you feel. But you are much luckier than I, as the situation I was in turned out rather awkward when my ex decided, out of some overdeveloped motherly instinct, to go ahead with having the thing. So now she is some seven months pregnant, living with a guy two years younger who wouldn't make anything close to a decent father, unsure whether the kid is mine or his (I know for a fact it ain't that hipster faggot's).