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Headlines

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 9:25

Let's think of some interesting sounding newspaper headlines.

For example:
North Penn High teacher arraigned in teen sex case

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 9:29

Neo-nazi attacks increase by 88% in the Fargo area.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 9:30

nice guys' are not God's gift to woman. In fact they're usually far from it. They're basically the same douchebags that bad boy players are, just without the charisma and sex appeal.

I used to tell myself that women who rejected me were the ones missing out because I would've been the most loving and dedicated man any woman could hope for but it was all a LIE. The truth is I get bored and take women for granted pretty easily. I'm not willing to go the extra mile, I'm not that considerate and I'm not particularly faithful. I'm just another asshole looking to score without the alpha male clout working for me. And they can sense it. THEY CAN SENSE IT!!!

Women, you were right. You were always right. Don't ever think otherwise. Your judgment is usually right on the money. Don't ever doubt it. Don't give us friendzoned idiots an inch, because we'll take everything and leave you broken and hurt, just like the alpha males but without the consolation prizes.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 9:30

Man mauled by lion; wife gives birth to hirsute

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 10:24

Man wakes up healthy, calls in sick

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 14:00

Man with boner in grocery store

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 14:50

Imagine a cat browsing a newspaper. Perhaps he is solving the crossword. Fancy that.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 14:56

SEXBOX SCANDAL: GIRL CLAIMS SHE WAS GANG-RAPED ON XBOX LIVE

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 17:57

Cyberbullying: The Truth Behind the Troll

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 18:15

Porn to be Wild: A Mother's Double Life

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 18:19

MCCAIN DEFEATS OBAMA

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 18:24

Doing Hard Time: Brutal Gang Rape in Californian Jail

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 18:46

CEO of Penguin Publishers in Critical Condition After Briss Gone Awry

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 19:50

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Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 20:24

>>14
Homosexual posts shit on 4chan

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 22:55

New Rap Song Samples 'Billie Jean' In Its Entirety, Adds Nothing

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 22:59

what tags do i use for ascii art guys?

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-23 23:15

[aa],[code],[m] try any of those

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-24 2:10

Scientists Create New Virus, Citizens not Pleased

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-24 3:35

Mayor Nutter a Nigger, City Council Moves to Impeach

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-24 4:11

Public fisting banned after the incident in the pharmacy.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-24 4:36

Teen gets dong stuck in bowling ball

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-24 15:06

Fence Painted Without Permit, Painter Flees Country

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-24 18:29

Haxed anii, dashed dreams.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-24 19:43

Too Close to Call

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-24 19:50

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 0:52

Pet chimp eats neighbour's face and eyes

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 0:58

Africa Under Attack, Winfrey the Culprit

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 1:36

Iran Tests Nuclear Weapon; Run on Sperm Banks

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 1:38

Cat Chokes Chicken; Fancy That.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 2:43

International Hitler Day; over a hundred of Jews dead in the protests

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 2:53

One-joke johnny mentions Jews in his post

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 4:52

Japanese develope automatic cat fellating machine.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 8:14

13 year old female virgin discovered in England, scientists are baffled.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 10:40

>>34
Most of then are abortion veterans by that age.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 10:43

>>35
Way to overstate the joke, retard. Thanks for nuttin!

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 10:58

>>36
You're an anus!

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 11:56

Hitlerian Resurrection Finds Israel with Egg on Face

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 13:36

Milk ribs scientifically proven to be an anus.
***
No insurance will help now.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 16:32

3 million Americans culled due to fail-disease.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 16:41

Israel to build settlement in Mecca, denies provoking muslims.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 16:49

>>41
oh lawdy I lol'd

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 16:50

>>41
Hate the antisemitism on these boards, but that was funny.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 18:56

Fag Hates Antisemitism, Rumored to be Filthy Jew

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 19:02

Man Eats Weight in Fried Chicken; Awaits Shit

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 19:17

>>44
Fag Hates Jews, Rumored to be White Trash

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 20:33

Ghost of Malcolm X Sighted in Branson, Missouri

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 23:44

KFC Announces New Presidential Bucket

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-25 23:59

US gives Louisianna back to France:  "we're done with it" says prez

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-26 0:26

>>48
Fuck, I lolled

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-26 2:59

Dude lolls

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-26 3:28

Guy falls through photocopier
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELLAhpzbERg

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-26 4:10

ALIENS LAND: Want to "offer us an opportunity to own our own Alien Fabric.  Apparently it absorbs liquid into another dimension.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-26 13:35

12th Ward Commissioner to Resign Due to Lactation Porn Addiction

Name: RedCream 2009-05-26 14:20

>>50
You lolled?  I admit me role.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-26 15:10

>>55
isn't that what some Nazi said

Name: RedCream 2009-05-26 18:11

>>56
What?  No, of course not.

Name: Anonymous 2009-05-27 3:23

Aliens Land, Again:  Want to "introduce a technology that will revolutionize food preparation"

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