Headlines

Let's think of some interesting sounding newspaper headlines.

For example:
North Penn High teacher arraigned in teen sex case

Neo-nazi attacks increase by 88% in the Fargo area.

nice guys' are not God's gift to woman. In fact they're usually far from it. They're basically the same douchebags that bad boy players are, just without the charisma and sex appeal.

I used to tell myself that women who rejected me were the ones missing out because I would've been the most loving and dedicated man any woman could hope for but it was all a LIE. The truth is I get bored and take women for granted pretty easily. I'm not willing to go the extra mile, I'm not that considerate and I'm not particularly faithful. I'm just another asshole looking to score without the alpha male clout working for me. And they can sense it. THEY CAN SENSE IT!!!

Women, you were right. You were always right. Don't ever think otherwise. Your judgment is usually right on the money. Don't ever doubt it. Don't give us friendzoned idiots an inch, because we'll take everything and leave you broken and hurt, just like the alpha males but without the consolation prizes.

Man mauled by lion; wife gives birth to hirsute

Man wakes up healthy, calls in sick

Man with boner in grocery store

Imagine a cat browsing a newspaper. Perhaps he is solving the crossword. Fancy that.

SEXBOX SCANDAL: GIRL CLAIMS SHE WAS GANG-RAPED ON XBOX LIVE

Cyberbullying: The Truth Behind the Troll

Porn to be Wild: A Mother's Double Life

MCCAIN DEFEATS OBAMA

Doing Hard Time: Brutal Gang Rape in Californian Jail

CEO of Penguin Publishers in Critical Condition After Briss Gone Awry

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>>14
Homosexual posts shit on 4chan

New Rap Song Samples 'Billie Jean' In Its Entirety, Adds Nothing

what tags do i use for ascii art guys?

[aa],[code],[m] try any of those

Scientists Create New Virus, Citizens not Pleased

Mayor Nutter a Nigger, City Council Moves to Impeach

Public fisting banned after the incident in the pharmacy.

Teen gets dong stuck in bowling ball

Fence Painted Without Permit, Painter Flees Country

Haxed anii, dashed dreams.

Too Close to Call

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Pet chimp eats neighbour's face and eyes

Africa Under Attack, Winfrey the Culprit

Iran Tests Nuclear Weapon; Run on Sperm Banks

Cat Chokes Chicken; Fancy That.

International Hitler Day; over a hundred of Jews dead in the protests

One-joke johnny mentions Jews in his post

Japanese develope automatic cat fellating machine.

13 year old female virgin discovered in England, scientists are baffled.

>>34
Most of then are abortion veterans by that age.

>>35
Way to overstate the joke, retard. Thanks for nuttin!

>>36
You're an anus!

Hitlerian Resurrection Finds Israel with Egg on Face

Milk ribs scientifically proven to be an anus.
***
No insurance will help now.

3 million Americans culled due to fail-disease.