Halp me, /Lounge/!

I'm addicted to masturbation. I cannot go three hours (not counting time spent sleeping) without jacking off. It's really interfering with my life. I do not have the will power to stop on my own. What can I do aside from cutting my dick off?

There is no cure...

You could crush it in a car door...

Something more agonizing then that? Poor something hot that would hurt your hands everytime you rubbed away.

Oh no, no! How about am "Emo Sex Glove" You know, the gloves with the razors on the finger tips so Emos can be Emo while 'enjoying' themselves!

How about a serious answer?

Well, the serious Answer was above "There is no cure" sexual frustration usually happens at puberty where you need the sexual pleasure, you know? So maybe your balls need to drop before you stop the hand thumping good time. Or maybe, get a chick to fuck with or something.

As soon as you feel the need, think of the holocaust. Think of your mom... actually thinking of any family member works (unless, you know, you have a sick mind or something). Think of the smell of burning hair, the economy, September 11th, medical pictures of venereal diseases, the Iraq war, the most recent Colbert Report, think of Condelezza Rice, debate what the ending of the Matrix meant, imagine that government agents are watching you. Most of these work for me. At that point you pretty much have to force yourself to masturbate and even then you won't enjoy it.

You could always just punch yourself in the nuts really hard.

>>8

Actually I think about that shit on a regular basis to further excite myself.

>>1

I'm not sure what "global studies" is, but I suspect he teaches it out of his basement, which contains a punching bag, posters of Bruce Lee, and his collection of nunchucks.

>>10

And let's not forget his collection of gay

And wheat snacks

and dildos

Bump.

>>8
*fapfapfapfapfapfap*

I don't even understand the OP's problem.  What's so bad about jackin' and jerkin' every 3 hours?

>>16
lern2readmoar.
It's really interfering with my life.

So he actually told us how right there. It's simple, just don't have a life. Problem solved.

>>8
welcome to 4chan

>>Think of your mom...

*fapfapfapfapfapfap*

>>think of Condelezza Rice
*fapfapfapfapfapfap*

You could an hero yourself

>>17
I think you need to read a bit more closely, yourself.

Jackin' and jerkin' your McGerkin is definably living itself.  Hence, it's just not possible to find masturbation to be "interfering with life".  Fapping is life.  Life is fapping.

You may as well say that breathing is getting in your way.

>>20
Some of us are on the next level where we are more into sex than fapping, don't worry Red you will get there one day.

>>21
More into being pussy whipped, amirite?

did someone say whipped pussy? IM SO THERE.

Tis a grand day to take a stroll in the woods, rubbing one's ding dong, enjoying nature, ducking into the bushes when spotting the approach of others.

>>23
No, pussy whipped.