Halp me, /Lounge/!

I'm addicted to masturbation. I cannot go three hours (not counting time spent sleeping) without jacking off. It's really interfering with my life. I do not have the will power to stop on my own. What can I do aside from cutting my dick off?

As soon as you feel the need, think of the holocaust. Think of your mom... actually thinking of any family member works (unless, you know, you have a sick mind or something). Think of the smell of burning hair, the economy, September 11th, medical pictures of venereal diseases, the Iraq war, the most recent Colbert Report, think of Condelezza Rice, debate what the ending of the Matrix meant, imagine that government agents are watching you. Most of these work for me. At that point you pretty much have to force yourself to masturbate and even then you won't enjoy it.

You could always just punch yourself in the nuts really hard.