4chan has corrupted my basic thought patterns

so im sitting here in class in an uncomfortable chair and i realize ive lost all feeling in my ass for the third time today. i think to myself "ow, my ass really hurts" and at the same moment the wheelchair kid in my class rolls by and i think "damn, he must have it pretty bad"

not because hes in a wheelchair. because his ass must be really sore


i am a horrible person

pedo yet?

... that makes you a horrible person?

>>1
You're a horrible person...?
Dude, my best friend for 6 years was in a wheelchair, but his fascination with megaman finally took me over the edge, I fucking pushed him down his driveway and off of the fucking curb, his wheelchair fell over and I walked home. That was 2 years ago and the restraining order is still in effect.

I broke my arm when I was 16, I abused it. I use my new found strength to knock people the fuck out by slamming them in the face with my casted arm.

I tricked a girl into thinking I was in love with her, just so I could have sex with her. I fucked her sister when she was asleep and then left, leaving a note about how they're both whores.

3 months ago I conned my mother out of 10,000 dollars by making her think I would invest it into a strong business, I just moved to California.

9 years ago, I decapitated my cat. While it was still alive.
I placed said cat's head on top of a brick pillar we had in the backyard to sundry it.
After 2 weeks, I boiled the head and took the skin off. The skull is now adorning my computer screen.
My sister still refuses to have anything to do with me.

I sugar-tanked my neighbor's Benz just for the hell of it.
I also covered it in toilet paper and then poured water over all of it, let it dry, and tore it off - paint included.

I shoved a stick into the spokes of some kid's bike when I was at the local skate-park.

Above all. I'm fucking proud of myself.

>>1
4chan = 18+ only

GTFO!

The primary hardship is loss of the ability to masturbate
and toilet hygiene

I masturbated during the 9/11 terrorist attacks.  Actually I was already masturbating, and I flipped on the television when I was about halfway done, and I saw the World Trade Center smoking.  I had to decide whether to keep masturbating or stop.  I decided that if I let the terrorists stop me masturbating, that would be letting the terrorists win, so I kept going.  I began ejaculating at the exact moment the first tower started to collapse, and my orgasm lasted the exact duration of the tower's fall.

>>7
fucking LOL

>>7

your logic amaze me, lets fuck

>>9

Suggestion accepted.