My family sucks more than your family

My brothers have pulled a Rush Limbaugh and gotten hooked on Oxycontin, threw a malatov cocktail at some house over a drug deal gone wrong, and oh ya they are drug dealers. Throwing at least a few thousand a month at the purchase of your illicits.

Now they have opened my dad's and grandmother's house to being the victim of a retaliatory firebombing by staying with them and not telling them what is going on -- the full story.

Bah the shit in the last two paragraphs is what I've gathered from people around them and is in no way all of what serious shit they've gotten themselves into as of late.

Guess who bailed these two douche bags out of prison... and how much it cost.

Alright here's a piece of my story.

Step - 1 Bankruptcy, foreclosure on my house.
Step - 2 Brother.Dead = True
Step - 3 Found a nice house to live in cheaply.
Step - 4 Divorce, money...?
Step - 5 Mom tries to choke me, I break her arm, juvy a week.
Step - 6 Bankruptcy
Step - 7 Dad in jail, caught with cocaine
Step - 8 Foreclosure
Step - 9 Move in with talia (my g/f)
Step - 10 Present day, divorce is still going on, dad's out of jail, still my parent's are jobless and fucking lazy ass pieces of shit fuck I hate them.


-BTW- how the fuck is it even possible to declare bankruptcy twice...
But hell, I'm still happy that I live in a nice house.

My brothers have bankrupted my entire family en masse meaning my mom - dad - step mom - grandparents - the whole sha-bang-a-bang.

In total they've cost over $50,000 - $60,000 in BAIL and LAWYER fees and been in and out of juvenille and jail for going on 5 years now. Which has left my family with all of -0- money to really ever help me out. No phat lewt for me - it went to my fuckup brothers lawers and bail. Now my grandmother has a mortgage on her home as she had to take one out to pay for the lawyers etc. and she is retired living on basically nothing per month.

One of my brothers (who is 20 now) decided having a baby would be fun - so he did (its now almost 1). Did he work at all during the pregnancy or first 7 months of the baby's life to help pay - no, not a bit. Insteeead -- He has left my grandmother (who really cant afford it) to pay for its: Formula, Clothes, Diapers, the whole sha-bang-a-bang and she actually ends up watching/babysitting it for more hours of the day then him or his wife (if you can call it that) do. And now that he IS working - he isn't paying one bloody nickle to help pay for his kid, still relying on mum.

Both my brothers lives are now about getting high punctuated by periods (see: minutes) of sobreity. And whats worse is they've put the ENTIRE immediate family in bankruptcy. My dad can't afford shit now-- he had to take out a loan against his BUSINESS to help pay for this fuckup.

Well, I don't know if I can beat drug dealers and firebombs, but:

My dad believes he is a prophet of God, and that we live in a literal warzone. His wife is mildly retarded and he brings her with him everywhere he goes so that she can agree with everything he says, so he can get constant assurance that he's not the only one who thinks whatever crazy fucking think he's thinking. Neither have the right to own a firearm, which is a good thing. He collects social security money because he can't hold down a job due to his explosive and completely unreasonable temper. He still owes me money. I could write a book on this situation, but I'll let you use your imagination to come up with some of the fun situations they get into.

My mother is like a bi-polar Peggy Hill. That's all I'm going to say.

My uncle on my father's side has a gambling problem, along with his wife. They have two kids - male and female. The older one (female) is 20 and weighs at least 400 lbs. She roll plays on IRC all day (I have some pretty good logs) and tells people that she's a 98lb Japanese girl. She has a history of running up $900 phone bills with her e-boyfriends and she has sold off some of her parents' and brother's things to afford sub tickets to meet one of them at least once. The one time I know of that she did this, the rich doctor she was talking to turned out to be a 16-year-old highschool dropout living with his parents, and he didn't like having a 98lb Japanese girl show up at his door as a 400lb ghost-white American girl. Her brother tells me that her room smells of piss and garbage. He has a job at a bowling alley that he either walks to or gets rides to from friends, because he can't afford to get his car fixed. Since their parents spend all the food money on gambling, the girl has to rely on food stamps which she collects illegally with the help of a fat goth friend, and her brother eats bowling alley food while he saves up to fix his car. Despite being poor, they're going to Vegas next week.

My cousins on my mother's side are all crazy and all probably in jail. I'm not quite sure. I have a newspaper with an article about one of them. The headline is "Grinch Steals Christmas" and there's this really great picture of him just below it.

My brother and I live with my grandmother on my father's side. My half-brother and half-sister live with one of my aunts. The girl is ok (as far I know, anyway) but the boy is not right. He's taking Tae Kwon Do but he has to tell my dad that he's not because my dad thinks that martial arts are demonic and he'll have to do an exorcism.

And when all of these people get together, there's bound to be something on the front page about it.

my uncle-in-law is a tweaker and has a stockpile of garbage that he calls a house. my wife had to stay with him once, because her fuck-up of a sister reccomended it, and the guy had three green teeth left and two chihuahuas that he tortured. he and his fat tweaker wife cooked us twice-cooked chicken. while there, there was ahole in the bathroom door that got progressively bigger day after day and you had to put a towel in it to use the facilities. the whole house smelled like urine. they had to daughters that i'm sure the pimp out for drug money. I gave my wife head on one of the many cars they had outside, next to a boat that was chained to a tree. when my wife finally escaped that hell hole he told our relatives that she left a crack pipe behind and did drugs. I hate tweakers. Now my brother in law is hooked to meth and after getting high and shooting himself in the head, causing blindness in one eye, he is becoming even more addicted and is starting to stockpile garbage that he finds and he gets mad when you throw it away. He also drinks all our fucking beer and costs my father-in-law enourmous amounts of money which will make him go bankrupt soon.

Dude, run the fuck away from home and never turn back.  Move to a different state, change your name.  Don't go down with the ship.

This thread wins. Its like a reality-tv car crash. My life is roses now.

My dad is an agnostic who watches South Park with me and sets a good example by not drinking or smoking.  He enjoys reading.
My mom is a christian who doesn't get in anybody's grille about it.  She sets a good example by being good with money.  She's had a job as long as I've been alive.  They have been married, and owned the same small house, since before I was born, and raised me in a quiet, stable environment. 

You guys are right.   My family > your family.

but by being christian make automatically fails you.

so yuo fail

>>10

this thread wins, it completely changed my view of my own family.

The problems started when my dad fucked my mom too many times a week and my mom started complaining that she wasnt a sex machine, and it all went downhill from there. they hate each other now, whenever my dad walks in the door a war ensues about money and unnesscary dumb things.

but compared to all you guys my family problems are nothing!!! 

My Uncle owns a giant boat thats otuside the US boarder as a cheap way for buisnesses to "outsource" their buisness by exploiting mexicans (it's off the coast of SoCal). Unfortunatly since he fails at life no one actually uses it.

Also, my brother wears tight pants.

:( fail

>>14
Just tell him to bribe the usual suspects...

I HATE women. I never had a girlfriend and never will. The only times I got laid was when I paid a woman or promised her something. I'm never going to hold hands with a chick, kiss a girl intimately because we're in love, or any of the other shit that human beings were made to do. I guess that I'm suppose to be happy masturbating every fucking night. I'm a man with sexual urges and can't get with a female. I'm suppose to be alright with that? THERE IS A FUCKING CURSE ON MY LIFE. A CURSE THAT PREVENTS ANY FEMALE FROM LIKING ME. Oh I forgot, I do get interest from fat chicks and I'm not attracted to fat chicks.
I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm going to become the biggest asshole in the world. I tried the whole being considerate thing and it got me nowhere. If people can't handle my newfound harshness, then bring it on. BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
I get happy when I hear about some college slut getting murdered or injured in a hit and run. "oh she was a beautiful and talented girl, how could this happen." I don't know but I'm glad it did.

jerks took my lounge!
you're all jerks! jerks!

I HATE women. I never had a girlfriend and never will. The only times I got laid was when I paid a woman or promised her something. I'm never going to hold hands with a chick, kiss a girl intimately because we're in love, or any of the other shit that human beings were made to do. I guess that I'm suppose to be happy masturbating every fucking night. I'm a man with sexual urges and can't get with a female. I'm suppose to be alright with that? THERE IS A FUCKING CURSE ON MY LIFE. A CURSE THAT PREVENTS ANY FEMALE FROM LIKING ME. Oh I forgot, I do get interest from fat chicks and I'm not attracted to fat chicks.
I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm going to become the biggest asshole in the world. I tried the whole being considerate thing and it got me nowhere. If people can't handle my newfound harshness, then bring it on. BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
I get happy when I hear about some college slut getting murdered or injured in a hit and run. "oh she was a beautiful and talented girl, how could this happen." I don't know but I'm glad it did.

jerks! jerks!

jerks be stealin my posts!

>>17-19

Eat shit and die.

jerks

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