ISO: someone who can explain french clitics

Preferably someone that just isn't only a native french speaker, but also understands french grammar (as in constructing sentences).
Thanks!!!
Here is a link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_personal_pronouns#Clitic_order
It is conclusive, but I just don't get how to use it.

lol clits

VAGINA

FUUUU
I KNEW YOU'D ALL BE FUCKING IMMATURE AND MAKE STUPID JOKES ABOUT VAGINAS

>>4
its 4chan faggot dont expect much or anything

>>5
I know man, I'm an someone that expects intelligent replies on 4chan. I'm totally an oxymoron incarnate.

>>6
>I'm an someone that expects
>an someone
Really?

>>7
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I didn't mean to say that. :(

Alas, I'm French. Alas, I'm going to try and explain to you.

Basically, the clitic order is reversed compared to english – like pratically the whole language anyway. That the worst explanation I can give you. Now, onto details.

Let's say, "I do not want this" The negation part is one of the most important thing to grasp here. Hence, it goes straight before the verb, in the form of "ne." "Je ne veux pas cela." "Ne - pas" is the negation form, consider it as brackets for the verb. "ne -point" to be more litterate, "ne - plus" for 'not anymore'.
Is this useless ? I thought so too.
Then, about the object. I feel sick. That the exemple. how would you translate ? Roughtly, it would give "Je sens malade" wich is incorrect. Who is sick ? I of course, that why you must precise it. first person of I, "je" is "me", so "Je me sens malade" and now, everyone is afraid of catching your silly swine flu.
But you're not sick ! I do not feel sick ! "Je ne me sens pas malade!" There you got it, negation is your first priority, then, the objet, and close the negatory bracket ("pas", yes, you got it right you in the back) and end your sentence.
But, how about your neighbour ? How is he ? How is that revelant ? I do not feel him sick. (did you check his pulse ?) I know the phrase is awkward, but bear with me. "Je ne le sens pas malade." Of course i'm no doctor, but the object (him) still comes after the negation.
What a pain, being sick. But your grammar is now okay. never skip the "ne" or you'll sound like a retard, or a kid, or, god forbids, a retarded kid.
And now, for the ugliest part of this lesson.
Hold on, my son wants some chocolate, I will give him some.
See what I did ? An exemple !
will give is the verbal group, translated as "donnerai" (our future will be better than our past !) (except if my son gets cholesterol.) Him, and some, go to "lui" and "en" the object first (my son, always first, unless he does something bad in wich case, no comes first, and then punishment) and then what the object wants. "Je lui en donnerai" (du chocolat)
Clearly, that means you really have to think your whole phrase first before speaking it. Doesn't seems to stop more and more idiots from spawning, tho.
As I said then, mostly invert the shit out of yours phrases.

>>9
Analphabète incapable de construire une phrase anglaise correcte, s'empresse d'étaler sa crasse ignorance où il le peut.

Hopefully, OP, you were smart enough not to pay attention to this worthless crap. Were you not, you're helpless.

>>10
Were you capable of explaining french clitics, I'd lend you the credibility of claiming such a thing.
You obviously don't understand how to use the English subjunctive, so I wouldn't criticize the Frenchie so quickly.

>>10
T COLAIR ?