>>86
Play Alice: Madness Returns until I find something else to waste my time with.
Seriously that thing is a fucking amazing discovery for me.
I always saw it and thought it looked awesome, but I only started playing it yesterday and it's even better then I could imagine.
That being said, I haven't experienced the "too long" levels yet.
It's not like people don't know the text boards exists.
Right?
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 3:54
>>128
God I hope they know. It's right fucking under the name on the front page. You'd have to be blind or some kind of redditor to not see it.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 3:55
So, what's everyone playing? Or do all you guys do while /v/ is down is just refresh the page hoping that it's back up, or maybe decided to go on the textboard because it's the next best thing?
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Anonymous2012-08-21 3:56
>>128
Why come to this abandoned stink hole if the image board is up?
There is no reason.
It's like a last resort.
>>130
We're only here because all the other boards are at a standstill.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 3:58
>>130
I came here because I'm enjoying this ridiculous discussion and theres no captcha.
But I've been playing Alice: MR and Skyrim recently.
Jumped on the bandwagon a little late, but I just discovered 200gb a month downloads.
Seattle to Shanghai. That was the route of the first commercial Rift Gate. Not everyone's crazy about the name they picked, but just take a look the other few they considered. The Warp Gate? Doesn't get much more cliched than that. The Teleporter? I stand corrected. The Bilateral Trans-Space Unifier? That's a mouthful. The Portal? Already taken.
With the opening of that first Rift Gate, all traditional forms of air-transport, sea-transport, and space-transport were nullified overnight. The nature of the gate was simple, really. In Seattle was an eighty-foot by ten-foot metal doorway; in Shanghai was its mirror image. The two gates were joined in space allowing all matter and radiation to transfer uninterrupted and instantly, a seamless bridge in the fabric of here and there.
My head spins when I think about the explanation, but it goes something like, they trick space into thinking one point is a different point, two points are the same point. Gullible, the universe. To make a rift, it takes a plane of super-dense aluminum—which becomes the gate—a micro black hole, a dash of dark matter, and after it's made a never-ending supply of electricity to maintain the link. If a rift loses power and goes down for too long, the aluminum "forgets" the rift and has to be re-treated.
You'd never know the two eighty-foot gates were what they were by looking at them. They appeared simply doorways to another chamber, a stream of people going on the right, another coming on the left. They were set in unimpeded walls to help foster this illusion. The only things that gave them away were the windows above to the clouds outside.
Don't really like videogames that much anymore. But for some reason I still go to /v/ everyday.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:05
At first, people were reluctant to use the gates. There were one or two electronic glitches that turned people off the things, unexpected shut-downs resulting in half-people and quarter-people. In time the technology improved and there were fewer surprise failures. Systems were invented that detected all possible shutdowns well in advance.
Slowly, and with the help of their ridiculous convenience, the rifts garnered the trust of the public. Laws were passed allowing their more everyday use. Rifts to the next town. Rifts to work. Rifts to school, and even rifts to the supermarket. Not so long ago they even hit the personal market. Last I heard, you can buy door-sized rifts at one-hundred-thousand per linked pair, which means that the doorway in the apartment in Stockholm can lead directly to the family cabin in northern Saskatchewan. Just think of the hell these things will cause immigration authorities.
Of course, it was the military who really got creative with the things. Back in 2075, when we invaded the Australian Fascist state, our bombers no longer carried the nukes. Simply rifted them straight out their assholes all the way from the bomb storage facility in southern Nevada. That turned out to be a double-edged sword, the kind of elementary mistake that afterwards when you see the error you scratch your head and say, "Yeah. . . Should have seen that coming."
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:05
A damned Aussie smart missile flew through the rift on a bomber's undercarriage, into that nuclear storage facility, and Nevada became one giant fucking crater in the single biggest loss of life in that war, with a mushroom-cloud so big it tickled Zeus's balls. The single biggest explosion on planet Earth since whichever meteorite killed the dinosaurs. Not that it helped the Aussies win. We got them in the end.
But that was a long time ago, and young men like me no longer have to worry about getting drafted and sent overseas to shoot dingoes. The biggest worry I have this morning of my nineteenth birthday is getting to my eight o'clock class on time at Summerwest Collegiate. If I'm late for French again, Mrs. Harris'll have my head—in her own subtle way. She'll make me recite in front of the class.
Rnnnnk— Rnnnnk— Rnnnnk— Rnnnnk— Rnnnnk
I smack my alarm clock and it shuts up. 7:20. I really hate that horrible grating sound. I should get a new one, one with birds chirping. Or energizing music like that song by Carl Orff.
I hop out of bed and toss on my clothes for the day selecting a loud, yellow-blue tee and white shorts. I leave my room and skip down the stairs to the kitchen. Alice, my sister, is already there and eating breakfast at the table. She has prepared herself toast and eggs. Probably was up at 6:30. I pour some cereal into a bowl, splash in some milk, and take a seat opposite her. We eat in a pregnant silence. Who will throw the first jab, only time will tell.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:05
Mom meanders into the kitchen. "Morning, Cliff."
"Morning, Mom."
Mom meanders out. Obviously forgot that today is my birthday. Bitch.
I wolf down the cereal.
A series of melodic rings fills the house. Our elaborate doorbell. Now that's the kind of sound I wouldn't mind waking up to.
"Someone at the door," I say.
Alice sits there, unmoved.
In the distance I hear mom shout, "I'm in the bathroom!"
It's down to me or her.
"Get the door," I say.
She rolls her eyes. "You're closer."
I stew for a moment. We stare at each other. Neither flinches. Caving, I loudly scrape my chair back and walk down the hall to the front door. Its blurred glass panes let in the morning sun in distorted waves of brightness. A tall, female figure in red is shadowed behind it, and even though the image is hazy, I can tell from the head of long, strawberry blond hair that it is my Aunt Sandy.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:06
I open the door.
"Happy Birthday, birthday boy!"
"Hey, Aunt Sand."
She outstretches her arms and her massive tits ripple buoyantly, tightly contained in a red halter top. The wide, swollen nipples tell me there's no bra. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze. The breasts mash into my chest. I give her a quick kiss to the lips, she hugs me, I hug her, and we rock like that for a moment.
"Oooh, my little Cliffy is already nineteen!"
I pull away and sneak a peek down the hall to make sure Alice isn't watching. She isn't. Coast clear. I reach up and squeeze aunt's right, pendulous breast, saying, "You'll be driving the customers crazy today."
She leans in close as I tweak her nipple with my thumb and whispers, "I know."
I cup my fingers flat under the breast and jiggle it. It dances beautifully. I sigh at the sight, and she titters. Damn you, mother nature, for making us men so subject to these simple things, breasts. But they aren't simple. Their shape and motions are hypnotic. They tell my male mind that this is a healthy woman ripe for the bearing of children, and therefore very attractive to my genes' interest in propagating the species. But it kind of takes the fun out of it when you break things down into terms of science. Tits are great, and that's enough for me.
My fingers explore the bra-less contours of her chest. She lets me play. It is my birthday after all.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:06
Bras have become somewhat of a rarity these days. It's even legal for women to go topless, which a few of the more adventurous types at school do if they be confident enough in their endowments. And oh, should they be! What glorious tits I have seen, what amazingly developed girls frolicking naked in the sun and wind like they once did in the gardens of archaic man. Oh the joy of phys-ed and the warm up run! But I digress.
The sound of shuffling feet behind me prompts me to yank my hand from my aunt's chest.
"Sis!" Aunt Sand says. "Good to see you." She walks past me to Mom who is coming out of the side hall where the bathroom is. They embrace.
"Morning, Sand," she says flatly. Mom tends to speak in a monotone much unlike my bubbly aunt. Their careers so much as spell out their differences in character. Mom's a legal secretary; Aunt Sand runs a flower boutique.
"Did you know it's this strapping young man's birthday?"
Mom turns an unchanging expression towards me. "I do now. Happy Birthday, Cliff."
"Why thank you, Mum," I say in a robotic voice mimicking her monotone.
"I swear!" Aunt Sand says. "Doesn't remember her own son's birthday."
Mom levels aunt a hard look. "Some of us have more important things to worry about than clipping the daisies."
"Yes," Aunt Sand says. "Some of us have to worry about which file goes in which duo-tang! Now before I forget, I have a present for you, Cliffy." She taps my nose. "Wait one minute."
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:06
She goes out the front door and bends over to the right, lending me a spectacular view of her wide, womanly rear in white short-shorts. If I could up and jump. . .
I start. There appears to be something in her shorts, something covering her crotch. A kind of bulge, but before I can get a good look she stands back up with something in her hands. She comes through the door with a small, black box wrapped in white ribbons, a white bow on the top where they meet. It has a simple lifting lid. The only things restraining it are the ribbons.
"For you, Cliff," she says, and offers it with a smile.
I take it. "Awe. Thanks, Aunt Sand. You shouldn't have."
I yank at the ribbons.
"No!" she blurts in an urgent tone. Mom and I look at her with surprise.
Aunt Sand laughs. "It's just. . . It's a surprise! You can't open it yet. Not here. Not till you're at school."
I've got no idea what she could give me that has to do with school. "Alright. . ."
"It will help you. . . focus on your studies." She winks. "I promise."
"God, Sand, you look like such a slut in that," Mom says.
Aunt's Sand's superb hangers do tend to jut out in that flimsy top, and the lack of a bra leaves little to the imagination, the areolae plump and vital.
Unconsciously I lick my lips.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:06
"Better than looking like a frumpy nun," Aunt Sand says brightly. "Besides, I sell twice as many flowers when I'm a little more. . . relaxed with my wardrobe."
Mom smiles. It looks sincere this time. "I bet," she says. She isn't much worse off in the chest department, so I bet she can empathize what weapons breasts can be.
I check my watch. 7:51. "Shit!" I say. "I gotta run. Thanks again, Aunt Sand."
"You're welcome, honey. Hurry up now. Don't wanna be late for school again."
"You'd think he was your son, for Chrissakes. Let's see you spend seven days of the week with him, and then treat him like he's your little cupcake."
"Chill, Mom," I say as I leave the two women in the hall.
I run upstairs, hurriedly brush my teeth, and toss my binder into my backpack. I rush back down to the front by which time mom and aunt are talking distantly in the living room. Alice is already gone.
I jet.
The third-street rift station is two blocks away. Running down the sidewalk I reach it at three to eight and search out the one in twenty doorways that rifts to Summerwest. I walk through it behind two other tardy students and step out into the rift hub adjoining the school parking lot: like the station I left but fewer doors. The tall, brown pile that is Summerwest looms before me. I run through its glass doors.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:06
>>139
>go to 420chan /vg/
>threads about black ops 2
>threads about emulating psx
>threads about ocarina of time
>no shitposting whatsoever
>no angry posters
Why can't we have nice things like that?
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:07
Flying down the light-blue halls I find the room with the placard that reads, "Room 203: Mrs. Harris," and enter the class of twenty-some other students. Most are slumped in their desks with bleary eyes. I lean my pack against mine and ease inside. The bell strikes eight with a loud Rnnnnk. What bastard gave the school bell the same annoying buzz as my alarm clock? Students are in bad enough spirits without having to listen to that nails-in-a-blender bullshit.
In the desk left of me sits Bill. He grins and shakes his head at my punctuality. Mrs. Harris is busy at the blackboard writing the name of today's lesson. She is a stout brunette in a black, business looking getup, decent tits, exceptional ass. She turns and faces the class, denying me its heart-shaped image, and shouts,"The Past Parfait!"
I pull my binder out from my pack and spot the gift beneath. It'll have to wait. I start to write with the rest of the class and soon forget my zebra present as my mind is inundated with French verbs. The minutes drag past. Mrs. Harris eventually stops talking and lets us work on the conjugation exercises. The thought of my gift comes back to me and I decide to take a peek.
Reaching into the pack I yank at the bow. It unties at once, the ribbons dropping free. I ease the lid off the black velvety box and set it aside. Inside are two things: a written note, and a long, grey cylinder with a matte texture, not perfectly round but ovular, about nine inches long by four in length, three in width. It has a lid on one end built smoothly into the frame. I pull the cylinder out of the pack—rather light—and see in silvery letters on the side: Rift Tube.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:07
"What in the. . ." I mutter, and shake it. Nothing rattles. Feels empty.
"What'cha got there, Cliffy?" Bill says, snatching it from me. He sets it on his desk. "Looks like a jumbo glasses case. . ."
I grab it back. "Fuck off!" I say. "It's my birthday present." I shove it into my pack.
"Settle!" he says. "Just lookin'." And then quieter—chaffing: "Happy Birthday."
I shake my head, and unfold the written note in my lap. It says:
Cliffy!!! Don't open the tube in class!!! Open it in the bathroom in private!!! The lid is reversible, put it back in upside-down!!!! But only in private!!!! Have fun Sweetie......Love Your Aunt Sand.....xoxoxo.
"Hmm. . ."
Students are allowed to use the washrooms at their discretion, so after a moment's deliberation I decide to hell with it, zip up my pack, and head for the door.
"What'cha doin'!" Bill calls to my back, and tosses a paper ball. It hits my leg. I flip him the bird once I'm safely in the hall out of the view of Mrs. Harris, and as I leave hear her rag on him about throwing things. There's nothing really hostile in our banter. It's just the thing between me and Bill. Most guys our age test each other's mettle.
I walk down the hall, take a bend, and enter the male lavatories. No one else is there. I pick a stall.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:07
Taking a seat on the toilet I lock the door. Taking the tube out of my pack I examine it under the bright fluorescent lights. On the lid near the edge are two silvery buttons. I have no idea what they do. I clench the lid with my fingers and pull. It hisses free. I stare into the black abyss of the tube. Nothing's inside. I probe in with my fingers. It has a soft, cushiony wall, but there's still nothing.
"Well, fuck."
I feel cheated. I flip it upside down and shake. Nothing comes out. But then I. . . Oh God then I. . . Then I notice the lid in my hand!
"My. . . Fucking. . . God. . ."
On the bottom of the oval lid in my palm, which had faced the inside of the tube, is a pussy. A great, pink pair of blossoming pussy lips protruding from the oval, the only surface area of which not a vision of the female sex is the faintest of borders. Other that that it's all pussy. A clit proud in its hood, a meaty crevice of pink, and all the better because I know it's flesh and blood and not artificial. The quality doesn't tell me this; there are the most amazingly realistic fake toys these days. What tells me it's real is the fact I'm starting to piece together what the text on the tube means, and the fact that I recognize the pussy. It's Aunt Sand's. Aunt Sand's pussy in the palm of my hand, the petals parted slightly inviting a stiff dick.
"Those clever bastards. . ."
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:07
Rift engineering has impressed me severely. A tiny doorway straight to my aunt's cunt! That's what the bulge in her shorts was this morning. . . The lid to her tube. I wonder where she is right now. Sitting in her office at the back of the shop? Or maybe she's with a customer? Ha! And all while her pussy inches from my eyes.
"Well it's time she knows I've opened her present."
I bring the pussy to my mouth and run my tongue up the length of her pink crevice, lashing it over the clit.
~~~
"Oh!" Sandy squeaks, busy arranging the azaleas behind the display window taking advantage of an empty shop. She smirks wickedly. "Naughty, naughty nephew. . ."
~~~
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:07
I smile, and proceed to lick the pussy lips up and down and suckle the clit. I kiss it. The pussy swells and reddens. I put the lid into the tube reversed and now have a convenient grasp on the cunt-ended contraption. With my fingers I part the lips and stare into her pink, ribbed well. My dick throbs at the sight. Her wet hole runs back many inches, which is weird to see, because my brain knows the lid is a half-inch thick. But the tube helps foster the illusion that perhaps the pussy's inside somehow.
Time for some fun. I unzip my fly, yank down my pants and boxers in one motion, and sit back down. The porcelain is cold on my ass. My dick stands tall at attention, its crown purple and swollen, anxious for a home. I grip the base of my cock with my left hand and with my right slowly lower the salivating pussy towards it. A slimy strand of her inner lubrication falls and graces the head.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:08
Sandy stands with a wistful expression on her face, fully clothed, her hands leaned against a metal rack hosting a display of small, purple flowers behind the window.
"What are you waiting for. . ." she says. "Stick it in. . ."
A bell rings. A little old lady steps in through the front door of the boutique.
"Fuck. . ." Sandy moves to greet her. She puts on on her brightest smile and says, "Hello!"
~~~
I run the head of my dick up and down her slippery entrance. The engorged lips kiss it. I tilt the tube back till it's in line with my cock, then slowly lower it, parting the petals with my head entering her warm, womanly guts. It is slick and tight and hot. I continue to lower the tube till my shaft is half buried, then, sighing, grip the tube with both hands and slam the pussy all the way down. A feeling of contentment washes over me as her warmth pulsates around my shaft.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:08
This story had better be some /ss/
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:08
I bet the jews did this
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:08
I look down at the tube. My brain thinks my dick is inside, but I know better. My dick is miles from here, far away in my aunt's flower shop, and deep in my aunt's flower.
Slowly I raise the pussy off my glistening cock, watching the labia cling to it as if reluctant to part. My dick slips out and slaps my stomach rigidly. With one hand I aim it back at the target then slowly lower the pussy again, watching the pink lips devour me inch by inch till I'm balls-deep. I raise the pussy up, pausing when it contains only the head, then slam it down fast. I raise it up. I slam it down. Raise it up. Slam it down. I fuck her. Oh I hope she's with a customer right now, I hope she's struggling to contain this.
~~~
"Is there a problem, Mrs. Royce?" says the grey-haired lady, there seeking flowers for her brother's birthday.
"No!" Sandy laughs shakily, standing in the center aisle with her customer, metal racks of potted plants on either side, a hard dick slamming in and out of her pussy. Her face flushes and contorts; she looks like she's trying to contain an uncomfortable sensation.
The old lady looks at her quizzically. Sandy tries to be composed. "Now if you'll just look over HERE," she squeaks. "We have the. . . we have the. . ." She puts a hand to her chest. "Oh, my."
"Are you sure there's nothing wrong, dear?"
Sandy laughs, but it sounds curiously like a moan. "Yes! Just a little. . . lightheaded today. That's all. Oh, Jesus!" she practically screams.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:08
So I'm sure we are all mature enough to ignore the story poster and just reply to each other.
Right?
Guys?
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:08
>>150
Because weed is bad and you should feel bad.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:08
I bask in the continual heaven of Aunt Sand's cunt, leaned back on the toilet seat draping her smooth, buttery pussy down over my dick again and again. I lift it off entirely and admire the engorged, yawning lips wet and aroused. A pussy at my disposal! I slam it back down piercing her hot wetness.
I'm close. I plunge in a dozen more times and feel the onset of the orgasm. Finally I shove down hard, keep it there, and let myself erupt inside. Ecstasy. I spasm helplessly as jet after jet of come is released, but make as little noise as possible because someone's using the urinal.
~~~
"It's just so important that I find my brother Philip the right flowers. They'll really brighten up his room. Make it look a little less like a hospital."
Sandy nods in agreement—she's been hearing all about Philip's cancer—when her face screws up with a grimace. A high, involuntary hum escapes her nose, but before the customer can notice, Sandy swivels and forcefully kicks the bottom of a rack. She doubles over, screaming, moaning and shuddering; she says, "Stubbed my toe!"
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:08
The grey-haired lady bends down and lays a hand on her back. "Oh my poor dear! I simply hate that."
Gradually Sandy stops moaning. "It's okay!" she laughs. "It's going away now. . ." She stands back up sighing deeply and contentedly. "It's going away. . ."
She's soon over the sensations which had so overwhelmed her, and points down the aisle to the far end of the top rack where white-blue flowers sit. "Now I bet your brother will love these." She walks over. "Come and tell me what you think."
~~~
I lift the pussy off of my dick and invert the tube. My sopping, spent weapon flops to my inner thigh. I examine the rosy cunt under the light, inching it toward my face. I part the lips and stare inside. My load isn't far. I stand, and flip the tube over the toilet. The come dribbles into the water. My aunt's on contraceptives so I know there's no risk. After the last of it falls I bring the pussy back to my face and lick it clean. I wipe it off with toilet paper, put it in the tube, then quickly head my way to French.
Aunt Sand was wrong about one thing, I think as I near Room 203. This little toy, this little rift straight from me to her most-private of areas, isn't going to help me focus on my studies. All I can think about now is the next time I'll get to hear that lid hiss free, unzip my fly, and ease myself inside her warm, yielding loveliness.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:09
I sit back down at my desk.
"Took you long enough," Bill says.
"You should have seen the size of that shit."
He leans close conspiratorially and whispers, "Check that ass." He nods toward the blackboard.
Mrs. Harris is on tip-toes with the eraser. There's no way she can't know how she looks in that poise, in those pants, and the effect she must have on these young, hormonal men. Torturing us. . . Dangling impossible candy before us. . . It's practically child abuse.
>>173
all other boards appear to be frozen. /v/ and /vg/ are the only ones you can't see the threads though. You can get around that with the yotsuba catalog
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:19
>>186
If I liked video games that much, do you think I'd be wasting my time on 4chan instead?
Well, I don't know about thatDISREGARD THAT I SUCKS COCK
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:24
>>207 You cannot pass. I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:24
You know, even though it's a spamfest in this thread, I got to say it's kind of relaxing not having images everywhere.
Hut fudge, I see the sunlight. My wife seems to have left me but that's okay. My appartment is a mess. I'm gonna clean this up. This is the start of a new life. I am free!
>>231
>played any games
>play
>games
HA HA HA HA HA
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:29
Site is down due to database hiccups. We're working on it, but it'll probably be a while.
Time to go home.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:29
>>230
>yotsuba
>on any board ever
Okay faggot. Go back to /b/ where you can have your daily yotsuba circlejerk.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:29
We had been married for about 7 years and had a great relationship. The sex life had been kind of dropping off over the past couple of years though. We were trying to spice it up a bit and I suggested we make a home movie. To my surprise my shy conservative church going wife said ok.
We set everything up and it was some of the best sex I had ever had. She did anything I wanted the entire time. When we had finished I asked if she wanted to see it and she just said no get rid of it. So we put everything away.
In a couple of days I was home alone and got it out and watched it. It made me so horny to see her like this I loved watching her. I would watch it every chance I got. I begged her to make more but she would just say you did get rid of the other one didn’t you? I would just smile and say yes.
About six month later my best friend was at the house David. Wendy was in the shower when he got there so she had no idea he was in the house. He and I were watching a game on tv when she came walking in. All she had on was a pair of sheer white lace panties and bra to match and robe that she had not tied that was wide open. She was talking and looking down and did not see David yet but his mouth dropped. You could see everything her nice trimmed pussy hair followed by her beautiful tits you could see her nipples very clearly and pointing right at us.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:29
I came to my senses and yelled Wendy! She looked up and said OH MY GOD!!!! And closed her robe and ran out. I jumped up and followed her into the bedroom and she was so red she looked like a tomato. She yelled at me why did you not tell me he was here! I said I didn’t think you would walk out like that. She calmed her voice and said could he see anything? I just laughed and said well yeah but do not worry you look great it happens he seen women naked before. She laughed and said yeah but not me. I can’t face him again. I said just get dressed and I will go talk to him.
When I walked in David just laughed and said is she ok. I said yeah just embarrassed. She said she can never face you again. He just laughed and said damn man she should be proud I had no idea she looked like that. SHE IS FUCKING HOT. Realizing what he said he started to apologize. I said don’t worry about it. I think so too. He said she always wear conservative or baggy clothes I had no idea that was underneath.
She came in and said I am so sorry David that really embarrassed me. He said don’t worry about it I really did not see anything. She said Really he said no just forget it. She said ok then and said she was going shopping and would be home later.
As soon as she left David looked at me and said think she bought it I said yeah probably. He said God I cannot get that picture out of my mind I never thought she would look like that or wear those kinds of panties. I said what do you mean? He said well I always thought she was kind of a prude.
Get a load of this guy. Also don't you dare fucking mention /b/ asshat.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:30
I got a little mad and said Dude you do not know her at all. I said she can get wild at times. He said I do not believe it. Then I said it you want to see? He said how? I’ve got a video! He just said hell yes. My heart sank what do I do.
I went I can’t show you that. Why not ? It is my wife. So I just saw her. This is different she is not just naked we are fucking. He said I do not want to see you but would love to see her I just do not believe it.
Then my phone rang and I got up to answer it. It was Wendy she said is he still there. I said yes she said did he say anything. I said yes she said well go in the bedroom I want to know what he said I can not believe I did that. I said OK and put my hand over it and said my God David you got her all tore up. All he said was I would like to. I sat back down and said I am back. She said well what did he say is he embarrassed he saw me like that. I said do you really want to know what he said you may not like it. She said he thinks I am fat? I laughed and said no he thinks in his words you are fucking hot. David started to laugh and I said shut up she will hear you. She started the normal no he didn’t stuff. After about five minutes she said she would be home in about 2 hours I said ok and hung up.
David said so what did she think about that? I said I think you made her wet and started laughing. He went do you really have a video? I said yeah we made it about 6 months ago but she thinks I got rid of it. He started begging me to watch it and swore he would never tell anyone he just wanted to see her like that.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:30
Site is down due to database hiccups. We're working on it, but it'll probably be a while.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:30
>>235
Yotsuba theme on the text boards isn't related to /b/ at all.
I got up and did not say a word and put the disk in. I looked at him and said no cracks about my dick size and if you tell I will let your wife know a few things you have done. He said I swear just let me see a little of it.
As the video came on I start taking her clothes off. David just said What the Fuck She is so fucking hot. He could not take his eyes off it. There on the TV in front of me and my best friend was video of me and my wife fucking. I could tell by the giant bulge in his pants he liked it. When it was over he kept saying what a great looking wild wife I had. Then he said I have to go and left.
All I could think about after he left was how seeing Wendy that way affected him. How bad he wanted her. I just sat there and thought a bought it watching the video over and over. My phone rang it was David and he said he had jerked of 3 times thinking about it. He then told me how bad he wanted to fuck her. I did not say no and told him that I was thinking about him fucking her to. Then Wendy pulled in the drive and I told him I would call him later.
The first thing she said when she walked in the door now you had better tell me the truth about what David said. So I told her that he got so turned on I could see a Bulge in his pants and he could not stop talking about how hot she was. She asked me if I was mad at him and I said I was at first but then I knew why he thought that and she is hot. So I reached over and started Kissing her she was on fire. As soon as I got her pants of I could see how wet she was.
I asked if the thought of David seeing her like that made her this way and she just said no I just want you bad. So as I am fucking her I said are you thinking about David She said no. I said he called and told me he jacked off thinking about you and she just exploded on me. When it was over she said he did not say that I assured her he did.
I'm pretty sure he did it all just to have a great story to share.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 4:56
>>293
Yeah, thats fair enough.
I once hooked up (but didn't go any further)with a girl who'd made out with a dude from Short Stack, just for the story.
They were a terrible band, and she was a terrible girl. Good times.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 4:57
>>294
I once fapped while looking at kids playing in the school next to my house..just...because...fuck why did I do that.
I've just been banned from all boards of 420chan because I made a thread after our last one was deleted saying "Excuse me, but this is our board now" with a picture of jack sparrow.
Find somewhere else, don't leave me out in the cold /v/.
Name:
nopls 2012-08-21 5:21
:( Can we keep the names after this is all over?
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:21
Have you ever thought how many anons died over the past years?
YOu know there were some bros and other people browsing 4chan daily and they are gone now.
;_;
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Andrew Ryan2012-08-21 5:22
ok
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 5:23
>>316
>One of these days I'll be gone
>I'll only have these kind of anons to remember me
I'll miss you anon.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 5:23
Can we choose another site? I'm so lonely.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 5:23
>>319
Aw shit never mind, their proxy security doesn't seem as good as 4chan, thankyou proxy.org.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:24
I orefer dead /v/ than /v/ full of feels and shit like that
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 5:24
>>316
I never really thought about it, hundreds of us have died and no one even noticed, they never left a mark on the world, they never made a mark on /v/, the only thing that they actually contributed to in society, and next it will be one of us
Well it could have been an anon that created one of our many fun and family friendly epic may-mays.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:25
>>322
they surely left a mark of shit on their chairs
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:26
>>322
I highly doubt that the majority of dead /v/ users didn't go to uni, or have a family, or lots of friends.
I'm sure some of them lead pitiful, meaningless lives, but not all of them.
Someone would have cared, I'm sure.
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Nopls2012-08-21 5:26
Let's have a moment for all those dead anons out there :/
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:27
>>326
ok let's do this, be quiet for a moment guys
I'd have a quiet mom Anon, but I just got this new mechanical keyboard and it makes a lot of noise. Holy shit do I love typing on this thing, it's so loud; I've never felt so satisfied while typing before.
Why did no one ever tell me how amazing a mechanical keyboard was?
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:29
holy shit navigating this text board is a pain in the ass
no wonder nobody uses it
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 5:29
guys just go to /sp/ if you think we don't talk about games then check how they don't talk shit about sports
>Skyrim
>Trine 2
>Divinity II -DKS
>Gothic 4
>The last Remnant
An I'm still just sitting here waiting for /v/ and /vg/ go back up instead of actualy finishing my games. Fuck
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Nopls2012-08-21 5:39
>>360
14 Lol. Can I still get banned for typing in these boards?? Or should I just stop typing???? Pls guise
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:40
>>366
That looks like something you'd see on Myspace
>>376
>>Prince of Persia
Thank you I just remembered I had all of PoP games andstalled and not even lauched once.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:46
>>373
Oh yes...
>that little emo girl I had a crush on but was to scared to hang out with at school because I'd get called out for it by the arseholes in my class who hated her
>all those days of listening to Birds of Tokyo
>That ridiculous emo stage I went through just because of her
I can't listening to Birds of Tokyo anymore because it just reminds me of those myspace days and those ridiculous days.
She grew into a right wack job though, she's one of the ones who actually fully believes in the end of the world in december, and spends most of her days trying to figure out how its going to happen and posting on facebook about it.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:46
>>379
/v/ wouldn't fit in
too many people that would try to ERP/cam with those cd'ers for their tastes
anyone know what location in skyrim it was taken from?
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:52
>>388
I'm thinking the new dawnguard dlc, since in the trailer there was a dragon that dove under the ice, that looks like what that dragon is about to do.
>>389
>dragons diving under ice
The toddler has really lost it, hasn't he?
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:54
>>390
It's actually pretty fun.
I didn't think I'd enjoy it but I picked it up yesterday and its quite enjoyable.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 5:54
>>384
Draw Caesar from new vegas fisting General oliver with his displacer glove on the edge of the damn with both faction stood watching and masturbating
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:55
>>392
>he never had a Dragonology book as a kid
I still have mine.
There are more then one type of dragon dufus.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 5:57
>>389
shit you're right,looks like i'll be playing that next
PSN ANIMU SALES GUISE SHOULD I BUY TALES OF VESPERIA MOVIE FOR MY VITA???????
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Anonymous2012-08-21 6:00
>>398
Movie?
Like... pirate it if its just a movie
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Anonymous2012-08-21 6:00
>>395
>dufus
What the fuck did you just call me? When you were reading your pathetic little scribbles about lizards I was fucking hot bitches on the playground like nobodies fucking business. I was getting laid big time while you were crying to yourself about why you were such a little bitch who couldnt even tie his own shoelaces because of being the fat FUCK that you were.
yolo
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Anonymous2012-08-21 6:01
ur a fagget
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Anonymous2012-08-21 6:02
>>400
First of all. Nice 400 get.
Second of all, dragons are not lizards you filthy pleb. They are one of the most majestic creatures known to man and are bred for their magic abilities and alchemy ingredients. Their pretty much my favourite animals.
With the fire and the wings and the GLYVEN
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Anonymous2012-08-21 6:03
You're right, Dragons are amphibians.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 6:04
>>403
The amphithere is not an amphibian. You think something with feathers and forked tongue would go fucking swimming?
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 6:05
Hey if I'm drawfagging, what's a good streaming service to use?
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Anonymous2012-08-21 6:05
>>402
>image search for glyven
>only find eve online portraits
Also why are you saying moot is dead?
You think he sits on his computer at home continuously pressing buttons and putting in code just so 4chan stays up?
If he goes to sleep 4chan doesn't crash, why would it if he died.
Maybe not in 2007, /v/ was actually pretty slow until then. But then again there was way less overall traffic too.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 7:02
Is it strange that I'd prefer for /v/ to become like this? It's nice.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 7:02
>>509
/v/ exploded late in 2006, I think. Shortly after /a/.
Before that you could hit F5 and nothing changed. Now that's basically impossible unless due to cloudflare caching.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 7:02
>>509
You wouldn't be able to get a thread to 500 posts over 12 hours back then because the thread would die.
>>551
Never really thought about it.
I would have a romantic relationship with a guy, but I wouldnt butt fuck. I'd take and give head...but thats it. I love the pussy.
Would you let a girl with a dick fuck your ass and cum inside? Would you spit or swallow if she made you suck her cock?
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Anonymous2012-08-21 7:32
WHY
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Anonymous2012-08-21 7:32
>>568
No fuck you.
Only italics, strike, and bold in here baby skates.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 7:32
So what have you guys been doing since /v/'s down other than posting in here? I've been watching some penguinz0/crit1kal myself, and I played a bit of Darksiders 2.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 7:32
▲
▲ ▲
>tfw no capcha
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Nopls2012-08-21 7:33
Guys, I'm thinking about moving here, can someone help my get my stuff?
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 7:33
">not knowing how to greentext" #>not knowing how to redtext
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Anonymous2012-08-21 7:33
hahah, I went to /sp/ to see what that was like
No sports on the front page
None at all
hahaha
they have some video game discussions too
but no sports
>>582
>not already swallow your cum when your finish fappin'
fucking newfags
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Anonymous2012-08-21 7:39
>>594
Or you cold just click on the "my cock" button in your ass
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Anonymous2012-08-21 7:39
so this is how we fight the hordes of newfags, right? this is the REALY SECRET CLUB amrite?
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Anonymous2012-08-21 7:40
/v/'s back
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 7:40
>>591
Welp I've found my entertainment for the night
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Nopls2012-08-21 7:42
I don't feel like sleeping but I want to sleep, wut do?
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Anonymous2012-08-21 7:42
>>573
One question, first: how does it feel to be cummed inside? It's like having a hot liquid up your ass? Because that looks uncomfortable.
If it's cool, then yes. Yes to everything. But I'll buttfuck her more than letting her buttfuck me. The same with sucking her cock -she wants to be a girl after all, so sucking her cock would remind her that in fact she still has a cock... So it's a great excuse-. But I would not spit. No homo
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Anonymous2012-08-21 7:42
>>596
I laid on my back once and put my legs in the air and came all over my face.
Got in my fucking eye and stung like shit so I had to have a shower.
It stung for the rest of the day.
Friends is cool, but too family friendly... you know, full of love and friendship is magic and all that shit that like with Modern Family, makes every episode end in that way of "Well, after all, they're still FRIENDS"
Seinfeld is different. And also, THERE'S NO DRAMA. JUST COMEDY GOLD
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Anonymous2012-08-21 7:59
>>614
What's wrong with drama? Drama is an important pillar of storytelling. Seinfeld could use a little drama from time to time, it could possibly enhance the gravity of the jokes. You know, make it funnier through context kinda like how Scrubs did when it wasn't being depressing or preachy.
>>607
I was into fapping with stuff up my ass once (not gay btw) But I stopped after I went to far.
>I was in the shower
>Felt like fapping
>Looked around for something to put up my butt
>Couldn't see anything around but then I had the brilliant Idea to use the shower head
>Oh god this feels brilliant, I found the new way to fap,this is awesome
>cum buckets
>Feel sort of strange
>Need to use the toilet
>Notice my stomach is swelled the fuck out with the gallons of water I had squirted up my ass
>It isn't a problem, it will just be like diarrhea
>Start to shit
>A jet of shitty water squirts out of my ass with the power of a pressure washer, hitting the water and bowl and spraying back up at my ass
>it still feels warm
>Feel physically sick, not sure from what, maybe the disgusting smell, maybe the fact shit way spraying over me from the bowl and caking my ass and legs in it, maybe because of all the water inside of me, or maybe just with the realization of what I had just done
>I sat on that toilet for like an hour
And that's when I stopped inserting stuff into my anus
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:04
>>615
What is wrong is that when you play with drama you take the risk of making something too dramatic. There are no half measures in this kind of things.
Seinfeld -Larry David and the producers- decided to just forget the drama and make something much more funny, satirical, rather than using the drama. Rather than making the characters too likeable in the normalfag way (it's just a way of talking, nothing else, don't worry)
We love unlikeable characters. But making them too human (House, for example) just makes them too bland by the end
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 8:05
Go to /vp/
Laugh at the RP
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 8:05
>>620
I think we all learned something here today.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:07
I love you /v/, rest in pieces ;_;
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:08
>>620
I never was a big fan of the idea of stuffing things up my ass. Well, Sometimes it insert one finger up my ass, covered with some higienic paper, you know to make it more higienical. I like it. I just move the finger and so... Carefully, you know?
But I would never come to stuff in my ass such big things!
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:08
>>624
We're still here, idiot. You can still talk to us. Hell you're talking to me right now.
>>631
Yeah you should stop going to /b/, its no good for you buddy.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:14
>>632
Indeed i do.
seriously tho, the fuck is going on?
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:14
>>633
Looking at the /b/ threads that are still up honestly it's pretty much exactly the same as /v/, except nobody is saging or throwing a shitfit about not vidya.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 8:15
>>630
But seriously do you think moot does smoke bud? He seems like he might but then again he seems like he would spaghetti everywhere trying to buy some, maybe he asks gingermod to get it for him
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 8:15
>>633
why not?
it's fun to watch people argue for nothing.
>>651
funny thing actually!
i took a shit a couple a days ago and it was one of those big shits...like...big...FUCKING BIG.
And it made me have random fucking fantasies of me getting fucked in the ass my one of my best friends.
There are games about ass ravaging and coprophilia.
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 8:30
check my 665
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:31
IMMA BECOME A NAMEFAG
700 decides my name lel
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:32
>>662
Yeah, you're right. I come here from time to time. My girlfriend doesn't know this. In fact, I come here because I want to take a break from here, she's getting me tired. I come here and read the stories about taking shits and taking big dicks up your ass.
But no homo, eh? I love vaginas! I like to eat vaginas! Nom!
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:34
>>669
look forward to calling yourself Puzzles forever
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:36
>>671
sounds legit but i'm not a puzzle guy :(
but nice idea , i like it
One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:41
Puzzles
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:41
700 GET CLAIMED FOR REDDIT
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:41
DickLord
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:41
so wtf is my name then ?
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Anonymous2012-08-21 8:41
/b/ is gone too
Name:
Anonymous2012-08-21 8:41
>>700
Fucking hell, I even stopped saying Puzzles and said DickLord instead just to fuck with him.