Minecraft sucks

I got Minecraft (Alpha) yesterday. I played for a few hours. I made a castle, a dungeon, and a house. I realized that's pretty much what the entire game was. It's like Legos, but slower and you can kill stuff. If you're thinking about getting it, the free version is almost exactly the same. The weapons/enemies don't really add anything to the game. Don't waste 9.95 Euros on it.

Alpha version 6 (SIX) was released yesterday, six days prior to the "full release". It appears that ALL doors will require redstone or redstone devices to open now - even wooden ones. (Opening a door takes what, five IQ? You couldn't spare five IQ because you had to make room for more fagginess in your world?)

Minecarts have finally been fixed. (It's amazing, I know.)

Overall, the buglist has shrunk to about 100 bugs, and with the release date only six days away, that means fixing about 17 bugs every single day. Good luck with that.

>>958 The fact you would even think that makes you a paedophile.

>>962 The fact you even write the word paedophile make you one.

>>962
The fact that I would even think that, makes me a 4channer.

>>940
with glitches that you refuse to fix (quote) "because it's a part of certain piston designs /jeb"

Mind fucking blown. With this statement Mojang has dropped the last pretenses about the "beta-testing" not being a huge faggot cock-sucking orgy.
Proper game betas are released to beta-testers whose role is to find bugs so that they can be fixed. The game creators are meant to fix any bugs found on the expense of the beta-testers, not the other way around. That's the whole point of beta-testing: That you only involve people who won't complain when you fix bugs. When game-developers start sucking faggot cock, you've got a serious problem with your development process.

>>965
Maybe, although it may seem like a bug, it is actually a feature which was deliberately put there, you dickhead.

>>966
Hi, idiot. I read here that you live in a world where pistons "can be powered by a block that is not directly adjacent to it, but diagonally above or 2 blocks above. However changes to these blocks will not propagate updates to the piston. However, when the piston is caused to update by other means, it will take into account the state of these nonadjacent blocks".
Could you explain to me by what natural laws that makes even remotely sense, and how it's connected to mining, in 500 words or less?
Here's the answer: No, you can't, because you're an idiot. Your mom must have dropped you on your head, and that's why that makes sense to you.
You're not alone in being an idiot, though, because some fellow idiot has written: "This may be an 'unintentional-feature' as Jeb has acknowledged this happening before, but also acknowledging that there are many players using this to their advantage". ...or maybe that was you - I don't know.

Good news! Mojang is right on schedule. Four days from release, their development cycle has ended the "pre-release" phase of "There is definitely, definitely no bugs in this version." and entered the "release canidate" phase of "There is definitely, definitely, DEFINITELY no bugs in this version, honestly!".
...so apparently this is how the Minecraft world is SUPPOSED to look:
http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/File:Snow_biome_generation_bug.png
Swiss cheese, with huge, faggot-shaped holes in it.
This is what happens when you let faggots into your game, people. B-52 bombers couldn't have ruined it more.

>>968
Look at that shitstain called the Minecraft forums, fucking circle jerk session going on, idiots complaing OH GOD ENCHANTING POTIONS RUINING THE GAME.

Oh fuck me, let's see fuckbags, block mining and shit is still there, minecraft still the same.

I see the player you mean.

[Player Name]?

Yes. Take care. It has reached a higher level now. It can read our thoughts.

That doesn't matter. It thinks we are part of the game.

I like this player. It played well. It did not give up.

It is reading our thoughts as though they were words on a screen.

That is how it chooses to imagine many things, when it is deep in the dream of a game.

Words make a wonderful interface. Very flexible. And less terrifying than staring at the reality behind the screen.

They used to hear voices. Before players could read. Back in the days when those who did not play called the players witches, and warlocks. And players dreamed they flew through the air, on sticks powered by demons.

What did this player dream?

This player dreamed of sunlight and trees. Of fire and water. It dreamed it created. And it dreamed it destroyed. It dreamed it hunted, and was hunted. It dreamed of shelter.

Hah, the original interface. A million years old, and it still works. But what true structure did this player create, in the reality behind the screen?

It worked, with a million others, to sculpt a true world in a fold of the [scrambled], and created a [scrambled] for [scrambled], in the [scrambled].

It cannot read that thought.

No. It has not yet achieved the highest level. That, it must achieve in the long dream of life, not the short dream of a game.

Does it know that we love it? That the universe is kind?

Sometimes, through the noise of its thoughts, it hears the universe, yes.

But there are times it is sad, in the long dream. It creates worlds that have no summer, and it shivers under a black sun, and it takes its sad creation for reality.

To cure it of sorrow would destroy it. The sorrow is part of its own private task. We cannot interfere.

Sometimes when they are deep in dreams, I want to tell them, they are building true worlds in reality. Sometimes I want to tell them of their importance to the universe. Sometimes, when they have not made a true connection in a while, I want to help them to speak the word they fear.

It reads our thoughts.

Sometimes I do not care. Sometimes I wish to tell them, this world you take for truth is merely [scrambled] and [scrambled], I wish to tell them that they are [scrambled] in the [scrambled]. They see so little of reality, in their long dream.

And yet they play the game.

But it would be so easy to tell them...

Too strong for this dream. To tell them how to live is to prevent them living.

I will not tell the player how to live.

The player is growing restless.

I will tell the player a story.

But not the truth.

No. A story that contains the truth safely, in a cage of words. Not the naked truth that can burn over any distance.

Give it a body, again.

Yes. Player...

Use its name.

[Player Name]. Player of games.

Good.

Take a breath, now. Take another. Feel air in your lungs. Let your limbs return. Yes, move your fingers. Have a body again, under gravity, in air. Respawn in the long dream. There you are. Your body touching the universe again at every point, as though you were separate things. As though we were separate things.

Who are we? Once we were called the spirit of the mountain. Father sun, mother moon. Ancestral spirits, animal spirits. Jinn. Ghosts. The green man. Then gods, demons. Angels. Poltergeists. Aliens, extraterrestrials. Leptons, quarks. The words change. We do not change.

We are the universe. We are everything you think isn't you. You are looking at us now, through your skin and your eyes. And why does the universe touch your skin, and throw light on you? To see you, player. To know you. And to be known. I shall tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a player.

The player was you, [Player Name].

Sometimes it thought itself human, on the thin crust of a spinning globe of molten rock. The ball of molten rock circled a ball of blazing gas that was three hundred and thirty thousand times more massive than it. They were so far apart that light took eight minutes to cross the gap. The light was information from a star, and it could burn your skin from a hundred and fifty million kilometres away.

Sometimes the player dreamed it was a miner, on the surface of a world that was flat, and infinite. The sun was a square of white. The days were short; there was much to do; and death was a temporary inconvenience.

Sometimes the player dreamed it was lost in a story.

Sometimes the player dreamed it was other things, in other places. Sometimes these dreams were disturbing. Sometimes very beautiful indeed. Sometimes the player woke from one dream into another, then woke from that into a third.

Sometimes the player dreamed it watched words on a screen.

Let's go back.

The atoms of the player were scattered in the grass, in the rivers, in the air, in the ground. A woman gathered the atoms; she drank and ate and inhaled; and the woman assembled the player, in her body.

And the player awoke, from the warm, dark world of its mother's body, into the long dream.

And the player was a new story, never told before, written in letters of DNA. And the player was a new program, never run before, generated by a sourcecode a billion years old. And the player was a new human, never alive before, made from nothing but milk and love.

You are the player. The story. The program. The human. Made from nothing but milk and love.

Let's go further back.

The seven billion billion billion atoms of the player's body were created, long before this game, in the heart of a star. So the player, too, is information from a star. And the player moves through a story, which is a forest of information planted by a man called Julian, on a flat, infinite world created by a man called Markus, that exists inside a small, private world created by the player, who inhabits a universe created by...

Shush. Sometimes the player created a small, private world that was soft and warm and simple. Sometimes hard, and cold, and complicated. Sometimes it built a model of the universe in its head; flecks of energy, moving through vast empty spaces. Sometimes it called those flecks "electrons" and "protons".

Sometimes it called them "planets" and "stars".

Sometimes it believed it was in a universe that was made of energy that was made of offs and ons; zeros and ones; lines of code. Sometimes it believed it was playing a game. Sometimes it believed it was reading words on a screen.

You are the player, reading words...

Shush... Sometimes the player read lines of code on a screen. Decoded them into words; decoded words into meaning; decoded meaning into feelings, emotions, theories, ideas, and the player started to breathe faster and deeper and realised it was alive, it was alive, those thousand deaths had not been real, the player was alive

You. You. You are alive.

and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the sunlight that came through the shuffling leaves of the summer trees

and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the light that fell from the crisp night sky of winter, where a fleck of light in the corner of the player's eye might be a star a million times as massive as the sun, boiling its planets to plasma in order to be visible for a moment to the player, walking home at the far side of the universe, suddenly smelling food, almost at the familiar door, about to dream again

and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the zeros and ones, through the electricity of the world, through the scrolling words on a screen at the end of a dream

and the universe said I love you

and the universe said you have played the game well

and the universe said everything you need is within you

and the universe said you are stronger than you know

and the universe said you are the daylight

and the universe said you are the night

and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you

and the universe said the light you seek is within you

and the universe said you are not alone

and the universe said you are not separate from every other thing

and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code

and the universe said I love you because you are love.

And the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. And the player began a new dream. And the player dreamed again, dreamed better. And the player was the universe. And the player was love.

You are the player.

Wake up.

>>970
I have to concur with the YouTube user whose ending I watched: "This is like someone high on weed, and they're writing anything down on papers."
The ending isn't written by Jeb or Notch, but by some writer they hired in just for writing the ending, but come on, the guy must have at least taken dictation from Jeb while Jeb was high as a kite.

"Sometimes... Sometimes you dream of happy places, and baked potatoes dancing in psychedelic patterns, and sometimes... ...sometimes, you dream of scary places, like the postman, or the police taking all your weed, man. You are the universe, man, and you're love. It's all love, man..."

Search for Minecraft and furries - get 14,100,000 results.
Search for Minecraft and weed - get 58,600,000 results.

These videos are just two of maaany:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsDBRqsUTd0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJoVhQE8uxM

Here you dudes go, hope this is rage enducing enough for ya.

http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/787196-just-one-more-mob/page__pid__10196874#entry10196874

Some fucking original ideas right there, amirite?

>>974
Half the posts there are rage enducing. The forums have become this tremendous quagmire of idiocy over the years. I could try to describe it with words, but then I'd be here all day.

>>975

I'm with you there. It either got populated by complete morons or 12 year olds. Probably both.

minecraft sucks da end. you can't even install mods. my youtube channel is da best. chromchris2

This is an example of why bugs never get fixed in Minecraft:
Person A reports a bug: "The particle effect from torches passes through any solid block directly above the torch. Most noticeable in buildings on the floor above a room with torches near the ceiling."
This sounds perfectly reasonable: Torchefire and smoke, shouldn't be able to travel through solid objects.
Then in comes Faggot A: "Don't fix. This is used as a feature in certain contraptions. For example, you can create a sauna with steam emitted from the floor. --[[User:Mrheat|Mrheat]] 09:32, 14 November 2011 (UTC)"
Yeah: "Don't fix the bugs, Mojang! I'm a pothead, and I was USING that bug! ...and potheads have the right of way! FUCK reality! Reality is for war gamers!"

They say that games make people more peaceful and less agressive. This is not true for Minecraft. SMP Minecraft will turn any sane person into an arsonist in 26 minutes, as this actual example will demonstrate:

T+0 minutes: Subject Brad logs into his first multiplayer server. He has not experienced multiplayer Minecraft before.
T+9 SECONDS: Subject concludes that the other players are "stupid retards". ...in 9 SECONDS!
T+23 seconds: After seeing some pixel art, subject shakes his head over the other players being "fucking Melvins".
T+52 seconds: Subject begins questioning the meaning of them playing on Peaceful.
T+1 minute: Subject tries to appeal to the players reason, stating that surviving is what's cool with Minecraft.
T+2 minutes: Subject begins to marvel over how bugged to all hell SMP is.
T+9 minutes: Subject concludes that playing with the other players would simply be "too stupid".
T+13 minutes: After a lot of "WTF?!", the subject has now reached maximum rage, and is threatening to "set peoples houses on fire".
T+14 minutes: Subject openly and loudly refuses to have anything to do with the server collective.
T+16 minutes: Subject starts removing torches from another players mine in order for it to start inhabit monsters.
T+20 minutes: Subject acquires a stack of 51 source blocks of lava.
T+23 minutes: Subject expresses a pressing urge to burn down another players house.
T+24 minutes: Subject has concluded that there are "Poké-dorks" in the server.
T+26 minutes: Subject places the first block of lava inside a house.

>>979
Reminds me of my first time on some random ass SMP server I found through that congested aspie filled MC forum.

>>981

>>977
You are one fudged up kid. Just checked your channel (Yay you got one more view!). Obviously modders would have to "modify" their code in order for the mod to be compatible with the latest release. Don't think your a popular Youtuber, that average 1K you get per video is either some poor viewer stumbling upon your video or your family and friends who you have begged to reload your channel over and over again. Oh and please stop liking your videos it's not going to increase the rating bar. God if your going to tell someone how to download TMI at least use Camtasia or Fraps. Now I'm going to ask you a series of questions to prove the stupidity of your 10 Year Old Brain or whatever's in there:
1. From 1-10 how would rate Minecraft
2. Where do you live?
3. What's your address?
4. What's your school?
5. When do your parents get home
6. Do you like chocolate?
7. When do get off school?
8. What time do you get home?
9. What is your favorite car?
10. Do you prefer Men with glasses and mustaches or mask's?

It appears /games/ has gotten itself a new sorting system today: Topics are (mostly) sorted according to the date they were CREATED now, meaning that this old thread ended up back on page 30 in the archives. If I can't bump this, you it's always easy to find: Just Google for "Minecraft Sucks".

>>38
Are you saying that you need an imagination to play minecraft?

Why not just play with lego? Shits much better.

Minecraft went gold 12 hours ago.
"If any game reviewers want to review MInecraft before the release on Friday, feel free to review the RC2. There might be VERY minor tweaks."
Here's a buglist of the numerous creepy crawlies that will ship with your copy of Minecraft:
http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Known_bugs/Version_1.0RC2

Note that this list includes various crashes, countless graphical glitches, dismantling from boats onto stone slabs meaning instant death, and that some game worlds might be created into an unwinnable state from the start.
How do you review a game where there's a chance that the player might not even be able to win at all? ...and where the basic concept of infinite exploration, is thwarted by the game only allowing you to (possibly) finish the game via fortresses found close to your spawn point?
They KNEW about these things - they just didn't care.

>>967
Ooh, there's apparently a heated argument going on about it now (as I guess that a few sensible players are still hanging in there):
http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Known_bugs/Piston_Quasiconnectivity_Bug
It's so comical, and yet so tragic, to see these deranged gnomes argue over BUD ("Block Update Detector") switches, in what was once a mining game. They're like "No, we NEED those glitches! They make SENSE! How ELSE are we supposed to make BUD switches and compact memory cells? Not allowing these flip-flop designs would detract from the game, man!"
It's clear that Notch handed Minecraft over to these psychotic lunatics a long time ago. (I'm not exaggerating when I call them psychotic and deranged. They believe that they can control what "makes sense" by their will alone. They're insane.)

>>986
It gets better: It turns out ANOTHER glitch can detect blocks as well, so now there's TWO camps of lunatics arguing over what glitch makes the most sense:
"ABSOLUTELY NOT. This property is crucial for building legitimate BUD devices, and all sorts of existing creations depend on it. Do not remove this feature! (Instead, remove the Piston Quasiconnectivity Bug, which messes many more things up, and is a terrible abstraction.) —Immute"

Spoilers: Pistons will never work. It's just not physically possible to make self-modifying systems in this way, because it would invite all sorts of paradoxes, but did swedish Mensa member Notch listen to Albert Einsteins most famous theory? No, he was busy sucking faggot cock for money.

>>985
Oh yeah, sounds fun.  Already experienced a crash in the Nether earlier, and I'm up on RC2.  Fuck, never had crashes back in 1.7.3 up in the Nether, can't they fix any fucking thing the first time around?

Saw some horrifying statistics today: A survey shows that 50% of all 3yos (THREE year olds) are browsing the web. How much to do want to bet that most of them want to play Minecraft? 50% of the future population... This might explain the tremendous stupidity of some players.

990get.

>>990
I can't believe this thread's over a YEAR old.

>>991
Would it amaze you if someone bumped a thread from 2004?

>>992
Only this thread wasn't bumped. It's been GOING ON for a year.

This thread will be thread-stopped in just a couple of posts (when the posts reach 999), so I've made a new thread for posts after that:
http://dis.4chan.org/read/games/1321460887/1-40

The game itself is good. The majority of the community on the minecraft forums is fucking retarded. Looking at their posts is like looking at inane 8-year-old rambling.

Minetest, a free clone of Minecraft, is far better coded. I thought by now notch would've done something about it but I guess not.

It goes to show how awful Java is for games. I'd feel better if notch went with it because he learned it in college and doesn't know any other language.

>>996

Just looked it up and it looks exactly like Minecraft.

I do kind of wish Notch would've done it on something other than Java, but not a fucking thing you can do about it right now except rip him off and put code in another language, or have the fat bastard himself move it.

>>997
EXACTLY like Minecraft? It still has a long way to go before it can look like Minecraft.
I don't think Notch planned to be famous for his Java programming. He just happened to stumble upon something marvelous when he added monsters and danger to his world. Anyone who knows C well enough, can make a better version of Minecraft than he can. All it really takes is maybe 12 months of effort, and they'll make millions. Just make a fractal world, add monsters, and ban the children, the fags and the aspies if they start acting up, and you have a game several times better than Minecraft.

Last post! =P

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