Minecraft sucks

I got Minecraft (Alpha) yesterday. I played for a few hours. I made a castle, a dungeon, and a house. I realized that's pretty much what the entire game was. It's like Legos, but slower and you can kill stuff. If you're thinking about getting it, the free version is almost exactly the same. The weapons/enemies don't really add anything to the game. Don't waste 9.95 Euros on it.

>>797
Works fine for me. You can also just search for "holy fucking shit" and you'll quickly find two turds fucking eachother.

I first heard that Notch was going to add "alchemy" to Minecraft back in the good old days, back when Notch was serious about this game, and what came to my mind then was actual alchemy. Actual alchemy means messing about with medieval chemistry components like "aqua fortis" (nitric acid), "aqua regia" (nitro-hydrochloric acid) and many other actual real-world chemicals together with raw materials, that would reflect and teach the players about the real world, so that prolonged exposure to Minecraft would lead to some basic academic skills and not just fucking brain cancer. Actual alchemy is what I expect from a member of Mensa Sweden, or at least anyone who doesn't loathe chemistry.

Instead we will of course get FAG alchemy: If we mix "Magma Cream‎", "Blaze Powder‎" and "Fermented Spider Eye‎" we will get some stupid magic jump potion. We will get another system that will attract HARRY POTTER fags, and soon there will we flying magical brooms everywhere.

Here's a video of a Bunny and a Bear LPing the new Minecraft 1.9:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6grEZ-X4nc

>>802
How the fuck do you go from past expectations about minecraft to a rant against harry potter fans?
How the fuck are these things even related?

>>802

>mensa

No, kid. It wasn't going to be traditional alchemy. It was going to be fun alchemy. It's a fucking video game.

>>804
Because Harry Potter alchemy is about witchbrew potions, which will attract HP fans.

>>805
Traditional alchemy is way more fun than witchbrews. ...to people older than 12.

>>802
Yup, it's Harry Potter alright: You pour ingredients into a fucking cauldron to make a "brew". Keep in mind that Notch, who thought brewing witch potions was a fun and innovative idea, is 32 years old.
No, Notch, you didn't think this was a fun idea. You thought this would sell you more copies of Minecraft to a new targetgroup of faggots and kids.
I dread the day when you summon monsters to fight for you by throwing Minéballs on the ground, because that's the final piece of the faggot puzzle.

>>807
They're skipping the cauldron now:
"A quick discussion with @notch led me in on a new way of doing the potion brewing. Cauldron is out..."
- jeb_

I won't dare hope for an actual dwarven brewery, though, because the Minecraft faggots are all bred by overprotective moms, that would explode in fountains of blood if they saw Minecraft promoting anything close to ale or alcohol.

So... ...you slay of of those Blaze mobs that's a tornado of fire and spews fire everywhere.
...and then you take of of its rods.
...and grind it down to a powder that is self-igniting (so by now you're carrying around burning dust in your pockets and wooden chests).
...and then you combine this burning powder with sticky slime, to create not napalm, but "magma CREAM" (you know, like a make-up cream) so now you're rolling little balls of "MAGMA" with your bare hands.
...and this you will probably put into a glass vial, that WILL NOT MELT from the heat of sticky burning goo, to DRINK IT, and gain SUPERPOWERS!
How young do you need to be for this to make sense?

I wouldn't be surprised if Notch would get busted for possessing weed or cocaine. Then people will be like "Oh, he seemed like a nice man, making games for the kids and everything." and I'd go "HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SEEN HIS GAME?! THERE'S GIANT MUSHROOMS, MUSHROOM COWS, BREWED NAPALM CREAM POTIONS, DIAMOND ARMOR, GOLD PICKAXES, AND FUCKING RED DUST AND YELLOW DUST THAT GLOWS IN THE DARK! EXHIBIT A: THIS MAN WAS HIGH!".

>>711
Wiki mod Kizzycocoa recently revealed two of the filter bot rules that will get you autobanned:
Writing too much, and providing links.
Basically starting out by writing a good article will get you automatically banned.
It gets better: The user in question (Apollyna) was banned for creating his own user-page.

"Firstly, the page was new and 3261 letters long. this triggered the autoban.
however, it was also new and had links, triggering the autoban again.
Users who are new need to have 5 edits before they can create pages of this size, along with links. --[[User:Kizzycocoa|Kizzycocoa]] 22:21, 30 September 2011 (UTC)"

Well, thank you for clearing up those secret rules AFTER the user was banned without virtually any chance of appeal.

Seriously, why do people like this shitty game?

Playing legos is not a game

You suck

owned lmao

Yes, we got a proper dwarven brewing stand!
*checks picture of said brewing stand.*
FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
"I'm fully aware the potions are very thin (diet?), but it looks cute" - Jeb
Yes, Jeb, because that's what Minecraft was all about before you joined: Cute "diet" things. Mining is a cute "diet" thing, made by skimpy elves using magic.
Also, I see that you've noted at least two words out of three in the name "3-tier gravity stand". Of course, your little rack there may be using OTHER means of propulsion from container to container, like FAIRY MAGIC.
Thank you for pissing all over mining.

>>815
I think I preferred the cauldron over this. I couldn't imagine there being anything faggier than a cauldron, and then we get this. It's not even a block, so you can't reskin it. How was this a better design choice?

"Potions are delayed because *add to cauldron, pick up, look at tooltip, pour back into cauldron, repeat* was extremely tedious"
- Jeb

What???
So when you brew, you pour something into a cauldron, then you scoop it UP again, then you look at it to determine that it is, and then you put it back again... Is jugging boiling water what you normally do when you cook something? "Oh, I see that adding salt to the water got me salt water. Time to put it back into the pot and add the pasta..."

Jeb, there's a crafting table, that works EXACTLY like a cauldron. If anything, the WORKBENCH should be about methodical creation in stages, but it doesn't, because that's the simplified crafting system of Minecraft that works GREAT.
I don't want you to touch the crafting system, Jeb - I'm just asking (in my mind) why you are so hellbent on creating a detailed (although bizarre) multiple-stage potion creation system, when the game is about mining and crafting?

poo

Redstone aside, I don't think it's a coincidence that Minecraft started turning to shit for real at exactly the time (in January this year) when Mojang expanded and hired in co-developers like Jeb. It's hard to pin who developed what in Minecraft, but I think that in general there are more feminine people than Notch in that bunch.

Progress of Minecraft:
Mine, craft, find iron, mine, craft, find gold, mine, craft, find diamond, mine, craft.
Okay, so now I can't mine any new ores, so what do I do now?
Time to create an obsidian portal to the Nether in order to get a blaze rod, in order to be able to brew all those chests of spider eyes that has been piling up all this time.
While I'm grateful for Mojang keeping the brewing out of my face, at one point they expect you to be completely done with mining, at which point you will suddenly get an urge to start brewing potions in hell instead. If the blaze rod required for the brewing stand wasn't enough of a hint, every potion but one requires ingredients you can only get from the Nether.

"@Holly_Papp Because my low testosterone levels? You KNEW!?
about 3 hours ago via web in reply to Holly_Papp"
- Notch on Twitter

We ALL knew, Notch. We ALL knew.

Good news!
All those who made the call to NOT upgrade from 1.7 to 1.8, are getting their just rewards.
http://i.imgur.com/djSvZ.png
The above diagram shows that while those who didn't upgrade to 1.8 will probably miss out on the ever-increasing amount of coal and iron in the surface layers, they will enjoy a much higher amount of all the other ores. As useless as they may be, you will be swimming in a lot more gold and diamond than the 1.8 fags.

>>822
What furfag bothered to make that stupid fucking graph?
I like minecraft and its a good game but that shit just got serious.

>>822
plus, no farlands

>>824
Yeah, because you've made it to the farlands without cheating. *rolleyes*

Posted on the wiki under the Notch entry:
"------Im so sorry to do this. i really am, but i looked for hours  and hours to find a way to get this out to you. i purchased a american express card after weeks of saving up to buy your game, i finally had enough so i bought a card. i got home put in the information. i was so excited, but it was declined. i just learned after to talking to three people from the american express company that i cannot purchase the game with that kind of card. i was so looking forward to this day and would do anything to play. ill do anything for a response at fluffydem0n@yahoo.com  0 is a zero.  thank you for your time."
The user is old enough to buy an American Express card (18, I presume), but still gets a weekly allowance? How can you not be mature enough to have a monthly allowance at 18?

I do not even get an allowance, although my parents are fairly wealthy. I guess that they are teaching me not to expect free money as an adult.

Oh hey.
Is this still going?

>>828
Not much is happening with Minecraft at the moment, so it can't currently suck any more than it already does. I bet Mojang is busy preparing to battle Bethesda in court.

Most of >>1 to >>829
U mad bro?

I LUV IT :D

http://download900.mediafire.com/29k3eia1379g/ak7he1aaptf7idh/Minecraft.exe

Use this client, it's cracked.

legoman0290 / weeden

thegolden920 / aaron29

>>829
No, the decay continues: Fuck english - fans are now renaming the skeletons "skellys", "skellingtons", and strongholds are now called "holding strong".
http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Skelly
http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Skellington
http://www.minecraftwiki.net/wiki/Holding_Strong
I think inventing new lingo is an actual symptom of Asperger Syndrome.

>>832
Well, evidently it IS cracked. How else would you have gotten those passwords?

A THIRD beta prerelease was released two days ago. (It's called "alpha", guys. You're still in alpha - you just didn't want to sell the game as cheap as you did back then.)

Now there are SPAWNERS for silverfish in strongholds.
Wtf, Notch?
Silverfish EAT strongholds, and they breed by doing this, so basically what you'll now find is a giant crater in the ground where a stronghold used to be, with a horde of silverfish lagging your world.

Notch is coming up with a third dimension now: The Ender. After messing around in the Nether and finding a "holding strong" with a portal, you can go to the Endermens native plane, and ride "enderdragons".
Notch always has to ruin something, doesn't he? He couldn't create normal dragons - he had to give his slenderman copies dragons to ride on. Unless the enderdragons are called that because they teleport to you if you look at them funny, the endermen are now black dragonriders.
This game requires acid.

another sign of the retards playing the game
"Placing a cake on a pressure plate table causes the cake to float a block above the pressure plate."

I like both Call of Duty cause I get to shoot stupid people and Minecraft because I get to build armor and weapons. Mind you their aren`t any guns but hell not everything has to have guns to be a fucking awesome game. Also before ether side calls me a "Fag" or queer I will have you know that your taunt are wasted because I do like relations with both genders.

>>837
Here's a suggestion: Go to an honest-to-God blacksmith and ask to become an apprentice. Ask to make some full plate armor and a sword - bonus points if you ask to make a DIAMOND armor and sword.
Then come back here and tell us how it went, and how it changed your opinions on Minecraft, okay?

http://www.minecraft4free.com?id=0702148

>>839
Scam site.