[CYOA] Choose Your Own VIP Adventure!

The same thread exists on 4 different textboards now. You walk in to /vip/ from your slumber in the cave and decide what to do today.
To post QUALITY posts go to >>2
To JEWS JEWS to >>3
To make your way out of a neolithic slumber that is 4chan/vip/ go to >>241

You open the door
Get on the floor
...then a dinosaur walks by
You realize that you now have TWO sages left in your inventory

At least you can follow this path to >>24