I didn't die, but fuck me I'm off the booze for a while.
Name:
VIPPER2011-05-29 15:10
Hah, you guys are pussies. Complaining about a hangover?
Try going into methadone withdrawals after being on them for 5 years at 3000mg a month.
Name:
VIPPER2011-05-29 20:20
>>132
That's just it, it wasn't a hangover. I didn't feel sick or have a headache. My kidneys were in severe pain for fucking hours though.
that is a sign to cut that shit the fuck out, which I am doing. Strictly the weed for me from now on. I'm thirty years old and I've been getting wrecked every change i could since I was about thirteen. I've had a good run, time to stop for now.
Name:
VIPPER2011-05-30 5:49
I thought my eye was going to fall out, then I realized it's more likely to go inwards... needless to say, this is not a pleasant situation. I must stay awake to ensure that nothing bad happens.
Name:
VIPPER2011-05-30 6:15
I'm pretty sure my eye is going to fall out, or perhaps back into my skull and down my throat. This is not good.
I can still see with it, but it will, in all likelihood, fall out soon. Will I still be able to see with it if it falls out but is still attached? Will I need to water it to make up for the fact that I will no longer be able to blink (due to a lack of eyelids)? Would I have to cover it with a blanket in order to "close" my eye?
I realize this probably sounds very unlikely and/or stupid, but to me it is very real. How am I to rationalize something irrational like this? Should I tell myself it's not real? But I can feel it falling out of my eye socket, slowly but surely. Real or not, it feels real. You know?
Maybe it's going inwards. It is hard to tell; the eye is sneaky.
This could be one of those moments that feels real, but isn't real, or maybe it really is real? How could I tell like this? I can't. I can't.
Name:
VIPPER2011-05-30 10:29
>>135
Oh what a touching parable, which is utterly wrong.
Name:
VIPPER2011-05-30 17:51
And if you're really upset you can call me collect,
'Cuz you know I'm not gonna mind.
At the drop of a dime you could drop me a line,
And I'll make it worth your time.
>>148
but that would take too long, and I have plans this weekend
Name:
VIPPER2011-06-06 6:31
>>149
Well the simplest solution is to kill yourself first then, that way everyone else is dead to you.
Name:
VIPPER2011-06-06 12:30
There's no way the hotdog in my left hand is firm enough to penetrate your anus
Name:
VIPPER2011-06-06 13:43
I wonder if this will work.
Name:
VIPPER2011-06-06 13:45
I wonder if this will work.
Name:
VIPPER2011-06-06 15:08
does antidepressants count as permanent high
Name:
VIPPER2011-06-07 3:01
>>154
SSRIs might make you feel better, but they don't make you "high"
Name:
VIPPER2011-06-07 9:08
Learnt a new word today. Ultracrepidarianism.
Name:
VIPPER2011-06-08 8:58
so righh
Name:
VIPPER2011-06-09 11:08
Karta is a 27-year-old orangutan, who spends her days swinging around her enclosure and entertaining visitors of Adelaide Zoo. Known for being an intelligent and rather difficult ape to manage, in May 2009 she actually managed to pull off a stunt so spectacular the whole zoo had to be shut down for the day.
Suddenly contemplating a problem she had not previously recognized, Karta realized that, holy shit, she was trapped in an enclosure in a zoo. She apparently decided that wouldn't do and that she wanted to travel the world. Or see the rest of the zoo. Either way, this ape wanted out.
Carefully watching the zoo staff operate, it soon became apparent to Karta that she wasn't going to be able to plan a surprise attack, knocking her keepers senseless and making a dash for the door. Neither were the keepers careless with leaving their keys lying around which would have allowed her to make a more subtle escape.
So she examined her enclosure. Electric fencing, and beyond that, high walls made from concrete and glass. First, the fence. She somehow figured out that she needed to stop the current flowing through it. Knowing full well the keepers weren't so stupid as to build the on/off switch within her reach, Karta came up with a cunning plan. The orangutan took a branch from her enclosure and twisted it into the hot-wires, causing them to short circuit.
With a quick shimmy, she was over the fence and into the no-man's land between the barrier and the outer walls of her enclosure.
Now for the problem of climbing the sheer walls, which were designed to stop her from doing exactly that. Once again thinking with a logical clarity that most of us can't manage on a good day, Karta started gathering vegetation from the boundary of her exhibit.
Anyone watching and wondering what she was up to soon caught on to the fact that this smart-ass ape was actually building a fucking step-ladder. Within no time, Karta was sitting on the wall which was meant to separate her from her adoring public.
Despite being confident that Karta wasn't an aggressive character and wasn't likely to attack members of the public, the zoo elected to err on the side of caution--understandable, considering this appeared to be some kind of evil orangutan genius--and closed the entire zoo on one of the busiest days of the year.
But Karta, apparently having glimpsed enough of the outside world to be unimpressed by it, nonchalantly climbed back over the wall, down the ladder and wandered back home to her enclosure.