>>7
Well, if that's the case, and you want to fap, get it over with quarkly.
Name:
Anonymous2007-09-13 20:11 ID:KvPZ8y9m
So this neutron walks into a bar and asks "How much for a beer", and the bartender says "For you, no charge."
Two atoms were walking down the street. One turns to the other and says,
"Oh, no! I think I'm an ion!"
The other responds, "Are you sure?!?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
Dear S': I note with distress
The length of your yardstick is less
And please wind your clock
To make it tick-tock
More briskly. Your faithful friend, S.
Q: What do you call a nun who's had a sex change?
A: A Trans-sister
So a bar walks into a man. Oops. Wrong frame of reference
Sign on the door of a microbiology lab: 'STAPH ONLY!'"
Mathematic puns are the first sine of madness.
Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said, "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."
The disciples
looked very puzzled, and finally asked Peter, "What on earth does Jesus mean - the Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9?
Peter said, "Don't worry. It's just another one of his parabolas."
Q: What's yellow and differentiable?
A: A bananalytic function.
Name:
Anonymous2007-09-13 20:23 ID:/sn9idli
"Then only two notable things to come out of Berkely were acid and UNIX. We do not think that this is a coincidence."
- unknown
1) An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying in a hotel one day. Each of them is sleeping in a separate room, each with a large bucket of water. In the middle of the night, their beds spontaneously start combusting and they wake up.
The engineer dumps the entire bucket of water on his bed, and goes back to sleep on a soggy bed.
The physicist calculates the exact amount of water necessary to stop the fire. The fire goes out, and the excess heat evaporates all the water. He goes back to sleep comfortably.
The mathematician thinks for a while, and says "Ah! a solution exists!" and goes back to sleep. He does not wake up the next morning.
2) A physicist is giving a seminar about string theory. A mathematician and his engineer friend attends. After coming out, the engineer says "Holy crap that was the most insane seminar I've ever attended. What is this 10 or 11 dimensional non sense? You don't seem confused at all. How do you visualize 10 or 11 dimensions?"
The mathematician replies "First, I imagine N dimensional space. Then I let N = 10 or 11."
Name:
Anonymous2007-09-17 15:48 ID:BrrNsNN3
A mathematician and a physicist were asked the following question: Suppose you walked by a burning house and saw a hydrant and a hose not connected to the hydrant. What would you do?
P: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.
M: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.
Then they were asked this question: Suppose you walked by a house and saw a hose connected to a hydrant. What would you do?
P: I would keep walking, as there is no problem to solve.
M: I would disconnect the hose from the hydrant and set the house on fire, reducing the problem to a previously solved form.
To find the volume of a small red rubber ball:
- A matematician will measure the circumference of the ball, and calculate the volume using the formulas for a sphere.
- A physicist will drop the ball into a tank of water, and measure the displaced volume.
- An engineer will look it up in his table of small red rubber balls.