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How do I join the NSA

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 18:28

I, like most of you, was outraged (outraged I tell you!) when I found out about these spying shenanigans. But then I thought to myself ``How can I use this to my benefit?'' Then it hit me: I can do anything with unlimited access to everyone's personal data! Suppose I want a law passed. I just look up the search history of high-ranking senators until I find one who's been searching for ``pthc'', then give him a call and have it done. Or if I need some quick money, I can just wiretap some mobsters until I find a bagman who's isolated. Then I can send the death squad to take him out and get my finder's fee. Slut doesn't want to fuck? Have the team plant some drugs and tip off the DEA. Maybe after 18 months in prison she's rethink that decision. Heheheheheheh

But one problem remains: how do I join? That dumb weeaboo Snowden managed to get signed up, so it can't be that hard. Do I just drive to Maryland and walk in the front door? Do I need to kill someone to prove my loyalty or something first?

Please advise.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 18:33

smoke the herbal Jew everyday

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 18:42

>>1
Like any of the 70% employed private contractors. Look for positions DoD offices are looking contractors for and apply (like in grant requests), and show them your portfolio. Easy as cake. Seriously, all companies working for/in the NSA are profiting from all this. You are kinda late in the game.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 18:43

In the fucking oven, sieg heil!

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 19:06

>>3
Why are they only 70% employed?

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 19:26

>>5
30% Gitmo.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 19:41

>>5,6
NSA has an excellent vacation policy.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 19:47

Send your resume to nsa@nsa.gov.
Use the code phrase "I want to kill the president".

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 20:09

Just contact a recruiter and tell them of your ambitions.
The government and police forces are FULL of people like you. You'll fit right in I'm sure. Corruption loves company.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 20:12

Send an email to yourself with your resume attached. They'll contact you if they're interested.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 20:38

>>10
Zing!

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 20:45

>>10-11
e/reddit/in irony, reddit/g/ros! i bet le NSA is cringing in their seats! my sides are fucking leling into le redditsphere ;)
 XDDD >implyin/g/ le memes from le /g/ are not le best

----
I tell N00Bs to install le /g/entoo. what is ur fav epic /g/ meme?

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 20:49

>>12
You sound MAD.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 20:52

>>13
Yeah, he mad.
Mad gubberment mang.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 21:01

>>13-14
e/g/in le mad meme, reddit/g/ros! i bet le /b/ and le reddit are jealous of your epic memes! XDDD my sides are fucking >implyin/g/ it's 2013 and le /g/reentext with my /g/ros ;)
 XDDD >implyin/g/ le memes from le /g/ are not le best

----
I tell N00Bs to install le /g/entoo. what is ur fav epic /g/ meme?

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 21:10

>>15
Shut the fuck up.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 21:19

The NSA is filled with people like >>1.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 21:22

>>16
Shove your unfunny jokes up your ass.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 21:36

>>18
I wasn't joking, I really do want him to shut the fuck up.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 22:12

>>1
First, you should begin by building a separate internet infrastructure, touting it as 100% NSA-free... or get one of those freedom boxes..
Start making buggy security software, but try to have the exploits as obscure as possible..
Brag about how secure the system is...
Congrats, now you're the NSA

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 23:32

>>19
Well, it isn't funny, and it isn't interesting either. Stop doing it.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-08 23:55

Think of all the targeted advertising dollars alone they must make...
But really, that is theft of Intellectual property!
Yep, this identity of mine, it's Mine! and I don't care how you collected it.. ^^
Does it matter how someone steals a car?

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-09 0:10

But as to not stifle business, i humbly offer a 5% cut of the revenue, but reserve the right to decline to sell My Own Property, and i want everything in writing =)

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-09 0:21

I have windows on my hard drive, that doesn't make it my Intellectual Property either...
Or does it?

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