>>5
In a small apartment in New York City, there is a man who goes by the name of moot who may be willing to fulfill your wish -- for a price. If you wish to continue, buy a plane ticket to New York City and bring a computer and enough clothes and money for at least seven days. Upon arrival, go to the nearest Starbucks and ask the barista for Christopher Poole. Upon hearing this, the barista will be able to direct you to the mysterious moot. Follow his instructions to the letter and do not skip any step. When you reach the apartment the door may be locked. If it is, you must hide in the building until moot arrives. If it is unlocked, enter slowly but carefully, saying "I am a huge faggot please rape my face." Moot will appear before you wearing nothing but a New York Yankees cap. He will ask if you have ever had anal. You must respond in the negative even if it is a lie. You must immediately bare your rear and bend over. Moot will proceed to insert his erect penis into your rectum. When he fills your anus with his love juice, he will tell you that you are the tightest lover he has ever had. After seven days, moot will show you his 4chan server room. He will bring you into a black windowless van. Let him tie you up and blindfold you until you arrive at the server location. He will guide you into the room and untie you and remove your blindfold. He will then warn you not to touch anything and leave for a coffee break. At this time head to the nearest computer and access the servers. The username "moot" and the password "faggot" will permit full access to every post and thread ever created, including the child pornography which he has saved for personal use. At this time, open a web browser and access /b/. This is for cover: do not waste any time on the inane comments of the imageboards. When it has loaded, log into a virtual console then navigate to the prog directory and edit the file containing the thread. If you succeed and are able to log out in time, he will not notice anything wrong and will make you an Admin over all the boards and give you a free 4chan Pass for life. If he catches you, immediately switch to X and tell him you were browsing the imageboards. He will tell you that ordinarily you would not be allowed to leave, but since you must be a very clever hacker to access his server, he will let you leave with a warning never to speak to him again or tell anyone of his location. He will then shoot you with a tranquilizer and you will wake up on the floor outside his apartment. As a final warning, you must never under any circumstances use your Admin login to insult Jews or post to the textboards, as moot records all of his sexual encounters with a hidden camera.