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MagickSort

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-01 16:17

magickSort is a sorting algorithm that utilizes magick to sort a list of any type of data, even those unknown to the programmer. It was developed by famed computer scientist Julie Sussman. This algorithm runs in O(-1), completing before the implementing code is called. Additionally, since the sort is performed in-place, there is no need for additional memory to perform this sort.

The steps to perform a magickSort involve:
1. At midnight on the new moon, gather six hundred and sixty six persons of African descent onto a large platform bearing the seal of the Kingdom of Hell.
2. Slaughter and disembowel the sacrifices with a sharpened shovel.
3. Pray to the Prince of Darkness that your list be sorted.
You will find that your list is now sorted. Research into this phenomenon has shown that the list became sorted exactly one clock cycle (on a universal Turing machine) before the ritual began, however, if the ritual is not completed properly, the list becomes retroactively unsorted, leading to many questions about causality and the nature of magick.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-01 16:23

TFW your surname doesn't end in -man, -sky or -berg

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-01 16:50

can i pray to princess luna instead
'dear princess luna, i really need this array to be sorted...'

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-01 17:11

*niggers

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-01 17:23

Magic doesn't exist, grow up you fucking retards.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-01 17:30

>>3
What happens if Princess Luna enters a dream about herself?

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-01 17:37

>>5
illogical atheist cretin

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-01 17:58

Thanks >>1 I just sorted an infinite series. Those ultrafinitists sure are going to be pissed!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-01 20:07

>>6
impostor!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-01 20:32

>>5
Say it in red

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-02 0:18

>>10
#Magic does‮ .tsixe ‭‭  not
Huh? Nevermind, I refuse.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-02 1:16

"People who say "magic does not exist" are autistic, ignorant, close minded, thinking of a different kind of magic, again; supremely autistic to even mention that (are you fucking 12? you dawkins cock sucker) and i want to brutally murder them."

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 11:21

>>12
Magic doesn't exist you autistic child.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 12:03

>>11
Nice!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 12:42

Autism is magic.

Name: eroge 2013-05-03 12:48

You know what, I started read this thinking hurr durr magick probably means static. Then the post just got weirder.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 12:57

A witch has turned you into a Pythonista. What do you do?

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 12:58

You fuckin idjit OP. Who needs to go through all that bs with gathering worthless niggas. When all you need to do is pray to the old god Cthulhu to sort the array with ring 0 binary execution.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 13:24

>>18
That was Terry quality!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 13:56

Alan Turing was gay.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 14:32

>>17
Throw a properly indented exception at the witch and hope for the best.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 14:42

>>21
The Witch catches your exception and re-raises it on you.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 17:20

>>22
fuck witch in ass

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 17:37

>>23
Your penis freezes and falls off, you take 18 points of damage.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 17:52

>>24
Cry for mercy and beg to not be forced to indent my code.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 18:49

>>25
The witch casts a spell that makes you being unable to code in any language but python

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 19:01

>>26
Use global interpreter lock on witch.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 19:10

>>27
The witch responds: #"I do not use python! *cackle* *cackle* *cackle*"
The witch forces you to indent your code once more.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 19:48

>>28
sudo gcc

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 20:02

>>29
[sudo] password for anonymous:

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 20:02

>>29
The witch replies #Hahaha. gcc: command not found. Your feeble attempts are easily thwarted.#

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 20:45

>>30
B-but it's my computer!

>>31
Write new non-pythonic language using shell scripting to bootstrap.
$ cat > newlang.sh

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 21:32

>>32
The witch casts a spell causing segfaults in all scripts executables that are not cryptographically signed by her -- except python. She then replaces your shell withcommand.com.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 21:51

Suddenly a hacker roots the machine, you are currently unable to spawn a new shell as system resources are used to mine Susscoins.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 22:52

>>34
The Witch kills >>34 for using the term `hacker', which means a playful enthusiast, when he meantcracker, a talentless luser who breaks things that he cannot create.

The Witch does not recognize the hypocrisy in this.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 23:48

There is no such thing as a witch. I will continue coding in C Ruby.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-03 23:59

>>36
There is no such thing as a witch.

Keep being ignorant you little stupid new-atheist

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 0:00

>>36
Also it is ``Programming" not ``coding" you stupid corporate drone kiddie.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 0:37

Magic is for delusional faggots. Learn how to do science, retards. Not even the bullshit field of psychology accepts you, and they'll snort up any garbage that homeless people whip their asses with. There is no way that killing a bunch of niggers will sort a list for you. It may be fun, but it has nothing to do with computing at all. You also have to wait for the new moon to appear, which is an absurd amount of time to wait for a single, relatively trivial, step to execute. This would not be useful at all.

>>38
No, faggot, I code. I round corners on buttons, make cool star rating average methods, and fart apps for my iPad. FUCK OFF

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 0:39

>>39
i fucking swear i am going to find you and gut you

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 0:46

>>39
>There is no way that killing a bunch of niggers will sort a list for you.

sure, that method doesn't work, as i have said, you should write a letter to princess luna. or to princess celestia if you are not cool

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 0:58

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Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 1:08

>>42
9/11 bretty good

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 1:42

>>39
YHBT?

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 1:48

>>44
fuck off new-atheist kiddie

you cant do even science

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 1:51

>>45
Has anyone ever been so far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 1:56

>>46
go back to /g/ or reddit newfag

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 2:09

I have no niggers!
How do I sort arrays?
Terrible!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 2:09

>>41
This is ridiculous.  You have to make your own magic, or you will never become a princess.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 2:10

>>47
You gonna make me?

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 2:22

>>42
impressive.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 2:39

>>50
Yes I fucking will you pathetic goy.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 3:17

>>52
No you won't. I'm staying and I'm going to shit up whatever thread I feel like. Every time you see a shitty post, every time you desperately yearn for someone to go back to /g/ or Reddit, you can think back to now. You can think back to how because you couldn't just ignore a shitty post, because you had to make some smart comment you encouraged the creation of shitty posts and contributed to the perpetual degradation of /prog/. Congratulations.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 3:38

>>53
I support you >>53. Le egin power fist!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 4:18

Why not just use a massively parallel sleep sort using danmaku?

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 8:02

Why not just use a massive sleep sort using dakimakura?

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 11:47

>>56
BUT I DO

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-04 17:20

>>55
don't even have to parallel, just set the clock forward!

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-05 14:59

not thread safe

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-05 15:14

>>59
yes, it does have a nasty tendency to stain the sheets

Name: Anonymous 2013-12-01 17:18

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%YOU'LL COWARDS DON'T EVEN SMOKE CRACK
%POST lN 3 THREADS OR YOU'LL COWARD

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