Tulpa Trouble Thread

So I made a tulpa of The Sussman a few months back. He was great at first, when we were getting to know each other and things hadn't gotten sexual yet. Now all he does is look over my shoulder while I code and makes annoying remarks saying I shouldn't do that, or that this can be rewritten, or ranting about magic, or telling me that his mere existence is unscientific and ultimately destructive. And the sex, oh god, the sex.... I know it's all in my head and that I'm not really being injured, but that makes it even worse, because I won't even really die from ... what he does to my body. I tried killing him off, but he just laughs at my efforts and tells me that I will never be free. He won't let me leave my house, and he beats me every time I try, then tells me to get back to work. I'm only able to type this now because he had to go out to buy some amphetamines to keep me awake while I work on his AI project (literally, his AI, because it has his personality), so he can have immortality.

Please, /prog/, help me!

>>55
This is a script that learns to anticipate your keypresses induces temporary schizophrenia.

- Run the script below.
- Get the keyboard outside of your visual field. A non-clicky keyboard is preferred.
- Press a key on your keyboard at random intervals between 1 and 3 seconds. Every time you press a key the screen flashes.
- Keep doing it until the counter reaches 100. Keep pressing.
- The flashes now occur before the keypresses!

#!/bin/bash
t=0
while true; do
    read -n 1 -s
    rt=$(echo "5k$t 0.0017*p" | dc)
    if [ "$t" -lt 100 ]; then
        sleep "$rt"
        t=$((t+1))
    fi
    tput setab 6;clear;sleep 0.1;tput sgr0;clear
    printf "\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n                                            $t"
done
























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