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Typical day in USA in 2050

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 22:08

`>2050
`>After the civil war, the military demarcation line between the Imperium of god-emperor obama and the Stormfront legions goes literally straight through my house.
`>Jn order to make sure I follow both laws, there are black-trans-lesbian-muslim police looking through half of the windows, andp ure-white-aryan-male-christian skinheads looking through the other half.
`>wake up in my bedroom on the Imperial side. Since I am black, I have been allowed to sleep in for 5 minutes.
`>must immediately bow down and pray to mecca where Obama’s new home is.
`>Must simultaneously declare all religions to be false since I am an atheist.
`>take estrogen pills on my nightstand.
`>slowly shuffle to the bathroom. not walking too quickly so as to check my fast privilege.
`>not allowed to stand while I pee since it is degrading to women.
`>sink is on the stormfag side.
`>when I turn is on, water is a sort of brownish yellow, since the clean water has been allotted for white families, I get it when they’re done.
`>go down to kitchen, also on the stormfag side.
`>My table has been taken overnight since my white neighbor accidentally broke his because of the weight of all of the food that he recieved in his rations.
`>open refrigerator, food has been spoiled since the Grand wizard of the Ku Klux Kouncil decided that blacks shouldn’t have too much power.
`>make meal of stale cornbread and spoiled milk as per my rations.
`>eat food standing. notice that I have accidentally wandered onto the imperial side
`>lakwadiniqua brigade breaks into my house (the 4th amendment has long since been repealed) and begin to beat me with nightstick for not checking my able-bodied privilege, but not too hard, since beating black people would be racist.
`>hand me a ticket for $300, then immediately give me a welfare check for the exact same amount even though I have a job.
`>Not like it matters since hyperinflation has made $300 into pocket change.
`>Walk into garage, and sit down in government approved smart-electric-hybrid-lowrider car.
`>realize I left the keys in the kitchen.
`>retrieve keys. stormfags hop through window and smash my face into the floor for stealing jewelry and attempting to steal a car.
`>crawl back into car, start engine, only radio station is arabic rap singing the praises of emperor obama.
`>pull out of driveway, into stormfag zone.
`>am immediately stopped by police, cop pulls me out of the car, bashes my head into the pavement, calls me a car stealing nigger. then puts 3 lbs of crack into my pocket.
`>that makes me a repeat offender.
`>luckily, he smashed my face into the imperial side, so lakwandisha pulls me into the hospital to receive my free medical care.
`>along with repairing my face and giving me new teeth, the doctors turn inject me with triple my daily dose of estrogen instead of using painkillers, in order to check my “not allergic to morphine privilege”
`>leave hospital, get on my government issued bicycle
`>path to work leads me back to stormfag zone.
`>not allowed to ride bike or walk on the white’s only sidewalk, the white’s only road, or the white’s only grass. have to do a sort of bunny hop on the bike.
`>arrive at job as correctional officer at the imperial/stormfront criminal rehabilitation facility.
`>realize I entered on the stormfront side. can only leave my bike on the “colore& section of the parking lot which was paved in broken glass from Kristallnacht 2038, which didn’t happen.
`>walk barefoot since niggers aren’t allowed to have shoes.
`>get to entrance. realize that although the pavement is for colored, the sidewalk is white’s only, so I can’t get to the door.
`>turn back, get a running start and jump over the sidewalk and in front of the door.
`>overshoot it, land on the imperial side.
`>get my legs broken by guards for not checking my able-bodied privilege, but only one leg since I’m black and they don’t want to be racist.
`>Begin first shift on the imperial side. my job is to anally violate white men who refused to check their privilege, even though I’m not gay.
`>Don’t want to appear homophobic, so I have to rape a white man who held a door open for an independent womyn.
`>during break, I’m allowed to have sex with their white wives, but it’s no fun since all of the white women are trans
`>second shift is on the stormfag side.
`>cross line into stormfag side of the ethnic relocation camp. which I must remind myself does not exist and never has.
`>storm guards give me looks like i just whistled at a white woman.
`>look down, realize that I forgot to change the armband on my government issued two-colored jumpsuit (think Two-Face from batman) from a Star of David and a Star and Crescent to a swastika and SS lightning bolts.
`>bow down and apologize by licking the guards jackboots clean.
`>they forgive me, but sodomize me with their nightsticks for getting too close ot a white man.
`>accept my punishment, continue with shift, where my job is to crawl into the gas vents and remove the human remains. Must also remind myself audibly that the gas chambers are only to remove lice, and that they don’t even exist.
`>dump bodies into massive hole in the ground. fill it with dirt with my bare hands since only white people may use shovels.
`>one mass grave is filled, I attempt to return home.
`>Reichsfuhrer-SS Anders Brevik calls me to his office. says that he has been watching me and that I will not be paid since i haven’t done any work during my shift.
`>tell him that I just spent the last 3 hours cleaning gas chambers and filling graves.
`>he laughs, and declares that the gas chambers, the graves, and in fact their entire half of the facility is just jewish propoganda and doesn’t even exist, therefore I couldn’t have worked on them.
`>guards are watching me, so I agree and salute him.
`>decide to exit through the imperial exit this time.
`>since my co-workers are white and I’m black, I’m allowed to take any of their cars,
`>drive back to my house. notice the locks have been changed.
`>apparently my house has been sold to a pure Aryan lesbian Muslim while i was gone since both sides have decided that I hadn’t checked my privilege or respected whites enough.
`>fall asleep on the sidewalk
`>wake up in jail.
`>apparently while I was sleeping, an attractive white woman walked past me.
`>both sides agree that this is rape, punishable by “death by lynching on a rope made out environmentally friendly government approved recycled hemp.”
`>my privilege has been checked.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 22:10

And who the fuck who might you be quoting, ironic shitposter-kun?

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 22:13

shit

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 22:19

Breivik is a kike and not a german, or white.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 22:32

Cute, aside from the formatting disaster.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 22:35

Excellent read OP.
This is indeed a better future, since USA 2013 is exactly like this without the stormfags side.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 22:38

this is unreadable. what's the matter with using sentences, /g/ shitstain?

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 22:41

>>1
I fucking raged so fucking hard.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 22:42

That had too many words; it didn't seem worth the effort to read.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 22:42

Too green, didn't read.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 22:42

>>7,8
This is funny as hell, what's wrong with you, imbeciles?

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-21 23:11

>>11
CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE-CHECKING PRIVILEGE

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 0:14

pure shit

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 0:19

I got about halfway through before losing interest completely.
When formulating kopipe, an emphasis should be placed on readibility and succinct, short sentences.
Trust me, I'm an expert.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 0:29

Fuck you, I'm not reading that tiny text.

-2050
-After the civil war, the military demarcation line between the Imperium of god-emperor obama and the Stormfront legions goes literally straight through my house.
-Jn order to make sure I follow both laws, there are black-trans-lesbian-muslim police looking through half of the windows, andp ure-white-aryan-male-christian skinheads looking through the other half.
-wake up in my bedroom on the Imperial side. Since I am black, I have been allowed to sleep in for 5 minutes.
-must immediately bow down and pray to mecca where Obama’s new home is.
-Must simultaneously declare all religions to be false since I am an atheist.
-take estrogen pills on my nightstand.
-slowly shuffle to the bathroom. not walking too quickly so as to check my fast privilege.
-not allowed to stand while I pee since it is degrading to women.
-sink is on the stormfag side.
-when I turn is on, water is a sort of brownish yellow, since the clean water has been allotted for white families, I get it when they’re done.
-go down to kitchen, also on the stormfag side.
-My table has been taken overnight since my white neighbor accidentally broke his because of the weight of all of the food that he recieved in his rations.
-open refrigerator, food has been spoiled since the Grand wizard of the Ku Klux Kouncil decided that blacks shouldn’t have too much power.
-make meal of stale cornbread and spoiled milk as per my rations.
-eat food standing. notice that I have accidentally wandered onto the imperial side
-lakwadiniqua brigade breaks into my house (the 4th amendment has long since been repealed) and begin to beat me with nightstick for not checking my able-bodied privilege, but not too hard, since beating black people would be racist.
-hand me a ticket for $300, then immediately give me a welfare check for the exact same amount even though I have a job.
-Not like it matters since hyperinflation has made $300 into pocket change.
-Walk into garage, and sit down in government approved smart-electric-hybrid-lowrider car.
-realize I left the keys in the kitchen.
-retrieve keys. stormfags hop through window and smash my face into the floor for stealing jewelry and attempting to steal a car.
-crawl back into car, start engine, only radio station is arabic rap singing the praises of emperor obama.
-pull out of driveway, into stormfag zone.
-am immediately stopped by police, cop pulls me out of the car, bashes my head into the pavement, calls me a car stealing nigger. then puts 3 lbs of crack into my pocket.
-that makes me a repeat offender.
-luckily, he smashed my face into the imperial side, so lakwandisha pulls me into the hospital to receive my free medical care.
-along with repairing my face and giving me new teeth, the doctors turn inject me with triple my daily dose of estrogen instead of using painkillers, in order to check my “not allergic to morphine privilege”
-leave hospital, get on my government issued bicycle
-path to work leads me back to stormfag zone.
-not allowed to ride bike or walk on the white’s only sidewalk, the white’s only road, or the white’s only grass. have to do a sort of bunny hop on the bike.
-arrive at job as correctional officer at the imperial/stormfront criminal rehabilitation facility.
-realize I entered on the stormfront side. can only leave my bike on the “colore& section of the parking lot which was paved in broken glass from Kristallnacht 2038, which didn’t happen.
-walk barefoot since niggers aren’t allowed to have shoes.
-get to entrance. realize that although the pavement is for colored, the sidewalk is white’s only, so I can’t get to the door.
-turn back, get a running start and jump over the sidewalk and in front of the door.
-overshoot it, land on the imperial side.
-get my legs broken by guards for not checking my able-bodied privilege, but only one leg since I’m black and they don’t want to be racist.
-Begin first shift on the imperial side. my job is to anally violate white men who refused to check their privilege, even though I’m not gay.
-Don’t want to appear homophobic, so I have to rape a white man who held a door open for an independent womyn.
-during break, I’m allowed to have sex with their white wives, but it’s no fun since all of the white women are trans
-second shift is on the stormfag side.
-cross line into stormfag side of the ethnic relocation camp. which I must remind myself does not exist and never has.
-storm guards give me looks like i just whistled at a white woman.
-look down, realize that I forgot to change the armband on my government issued two-colored jumpsuit (think Two-Face from batman) from a Star of David and a Star and Crescent to a swastika and SS lightning bolts.
-bow down and apologize by licking the guards jackboots clean.
-they forgive me, but sodomize me with their nightsticks for getting too close ot a white man.
-accept my punishment, continue with shift, where my job is to crawl into the gas vents and remove the human remains. Must also remind myself audibly that the gas chambers are only to remove lice, and that they don’t even exist.
-dump bodies into massive hole in the ground. fill it with dirt with my bare hands since only white people may use shovels.
-one mass grave is filled, I attempt to return home.
-Reichsfuhrer-SS Anders Brevik calls me to his office. says that he has been watching me and that I will not be paid since i haven’t done any work during my shift.
-tell him that I just spent the last 3 hours cleaning gas chambers and filling graves.
-he laughs, and declares that the gas chambers, the graves, and in fact their entire half of the facility is just jewish propoganda and doesn’t even exist, therefore I couldn’t have worked on them.
-guards are watching me, so I agree and salute him.
-decide to exit through the imperial exit this time.
-since my co-workers are white and I’m black, I’m allowed to take any of their cars,
-drive back to my house. notice the locks have been changed.
-apparently my house has been sold to a pure Aryan lesbian Muslim while i was gone since both sides have decided that I hadn’t checked my privilege or respected whites enough.
-fall asleep on the sidewalk
-wake up in jail.
-apparently while I was sleeping, an attractive white woman walked past me.
-both sides agree that this is rape, punishable by “death by lynching on a rope made out environmentally friendly government approved recycled hemp.”
-my privilege has been checked.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 2:11

>>15
FYIWDWYTM

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 2:22

>>7
WYSIWYGWYPMPNYJMUAIHNBT

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 2:23

I MENA
>>16
WYSIWYGWYPMPNYJMUAIHNBT

uuuUUUuuUUuu UuuuU uUUuu uuuuuUUUuUUu uUUU UUUuuuUuu

Name: WYPFP 2013-03-22 2:31

>>18
In the United States, the average life span of women is 7 years longer than that of men. Women live longer than men in all developed countries. Women also tend to have a lower mortality rate at every age. Even in the womb, male fetuses have a higher mortality rate than female fetuses.

Men have external testes, which are susceptible to severe injury, rupture or torsion.

Women have more sensitive hearing than men. Women also have a more sensitive sense of smell than men, both in the differentiation of odors, and in the detection of slight or faint odors.

Women generally have faster blood flow to their brains and lose less brain tissue as they age than men do.

Women produce more antibodies at a faster rate than men. Hence they develop fewer infectious diseases and succumb for shorter periods. Women are also less likely to suffer from cancer than men.

Certain conditions are X-linked recessive, in that the gene is carried on the X chromosome. Genetic females (XX) will have the disease only if both their X chromosomes are defective with a similar deficiency, whereas genetic males (XY) will have the disease if their only X chromosome is defective. For this reason, such conditions are far more common in males than in females. Examples of X-linked recessive conditions are color blindness, hemophilia, and Duchenne muscular dystrophy.

Statistically more men than women work in more dangerous occupations including: construction, transportation and utilities, mining, agriculture, forestry, fishing, firefighting, policing and patrol officers. There is also harder physical entrance criteria for men in these occupations.

The majority of occupational deaths occur among men. In one U.S. study, 93% of deaths on the job involved men, with a death rate approximately 11 times higher than women.

Insurance companies often charge different rates for men and women: Automobile insurance companies charge more for teenage boys than their female counterparts. Life and disability insurance is also higher for males than for females.

52.9% of American women are in the labor force versus 73.3% of men. 70.7% of women with children under 18 are in the workforce (up from 47% in 1975), compared with 94% of men with children under 18. Approximately 26% of employed women only work part time, compared with about 11% of employed men. Women in non-agricultural industries only work 35.9 hours per week versus 41.6 hours for men.

Women are more likely to be hired to child-related occupations than men. In general, men are more likely to be accused of pedophilia. Single men are also much less likely to be allowed to adopt children or gain custody of children than single women.

In many countries a disproportionate amount of maternity leave is granted than paternity leave.

Many countries, including the US, have male-only conscripted military service.

There is often a bias in health concerns in favor of women. For example, there is more advertisements and awareness for breast cancer than prostate cancer, though both cancers kill approximately the same number of people each year.

It is generally acceptable for a woman to wear traditionally male clothing, while the converse is often seen as unusual. Also, in most societies, homosexual and bisexual women are more widely accepted than their male counterparts.

In most societies, men are generally expected to play the more active role in the early stages of courtship, for example in asking the woman for a date. Society places a greater expectation on males to conform to "masculine" social norms that on women to conform to "feminine" social norms. It's usually seen as socially acceptable for a female to try out or follow more masculine social norms, whereas if a male does the same for feminine social norms they often attract unwanted attention and are victims of ridicule and insult.

Much more pressure is put on men than women to preform well sexually by the media.

In western countries, males are much more likely to die by suicide than females (usually by a factor of 3–4:1); 69 out of 74 non-western countries found an excess male mortality from suicide. American males between the ages of 20 and 24 have a suicide rate that is seven times higher than that of women.

With the exception of rape, men are far more likely than women to be the victims of violent crime.

Violence against men is taken less seriously than violence against women. Depiction of violence against men are often used as humorous in the media and elsewhere where the reverse would be seen as unacceptable.

There is also much less support or sympathy for male victims in domestic violence than for female victims. Statutory rape laws are enforced more vehemently in instances where the victim is female and/or the perpetrator is male. Many female-on-male rape cases are dismissed without investigation. The media also portrays female-on-male rape as humorous in the media and elsewhere where the reverse would be seen as unacceptable.

Women often have lower incarceration rates and shorter sentences than men for the same crimes.

Numerous tenets of the divorce favor women over men, including the previously mentioned child custody, but also alimony and child support payments and division of property from the husband. In their study titled "Child Custody Policies and Divorce Rates in the US," Kuhn and Guidubaldi find it reasonable to conclude that women anticipate advantages to being single, rather than remaining married. When women anticipate a clear gender bias in the courts regarding custody, they expect to be the primary residential parent for the children and recipient of the resulting financial child support, maintaining the marital residence, receiving half of all marital property, and gaining total freedom to establish new social relationships. Over two-thirds of all divorces are initiated by women. Among college-educated couples, the percentages of divorces initiated by women is approximately 90%.

Overall, women claim to be far happier than men with their lives, and reported more often that they had made personal progress in the last five years.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 2:56

Watch Your Privacy, GNU Programmer

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 2:58

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 3:01

>>21
text boards have https too.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 3:02

>>21
text boards have .org domains too.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 8:01

fuck this shit

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 12:09

(√JACKSON 5)2 GET

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 13:47

<b>lel</b>

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 13:48

lel

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 18:49

MOAR!!!!

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 21:39

turds

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 21:50

The statistic is used by government agencies and economists, and is gathered by the United States Census Bureau as part of the Current Population Survey. In 2010 the median income of FTYR workers was $42,800 for men, compared to $34,700 for women. The female-to-male earnings ratio was 0.81, slightly higher than the 2008 ratio.[2] The female-to-male earnings ratio of 0.81 means that, in 2009, female FTYR workers earned 19% less than male FTYR workers. The statistic does not take into account differences in experience, skill, occupation, education or hours worked, as long as it qualifies as full-time work.

Western Australia has the largest gender pay gap of any state or territory in Australia. As of August 2010 it was 24 per cent, representing a gap between average weekly ordinary time male and female earnings.[17] Research has failed to adequately account for all the factors that underpin Western Australia’s relatively large gender pay gap and thus explain why its gender pay gap is higher than the rest of Australia, which was 17 per cent in August 2010

In 2010 Finance was the industry with the widest gender pay gap at 32.2%, followed by Health Care and Social Assistance at 27.2% and Mining at 22.7%.[10]

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 21:52

finance wtf

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 22:05

''The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.'' ~ Pat Robertson

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 22:07

typical dubs in /prog/ in 20XX
CMDMP

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 22:07

meh, they can die out with the gays if they want... ^^

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 22:08

>>34
^_________________________________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 22:09

(and no that isn't being homophobic, just stating the obvious..)

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 22:17

Well, except lesbians can go to a sperm-bank... but that seems like a disaster waiting to happen..
Anyway, it's not so bad, probably lots of people don't have kids ;)

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-22 23:08

>>37
Gays can go to a sperm bank, too.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-23 19:43

I checked my LOL privelege.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-23 20:56

>>37>>38
Arabs would produce more offsprings anyway, just because every woman is forced to produce as many children as possible. Then we will behead you gay kikes. That is evolution, baby!

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-23 20:58

>>40
Lesbians also have no time for children, because they have to work and employers don't like pregnant.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-23 20:58

You know? Nikita had become somewhat sane lately, but now he regressed and has started spouting grade-school edginess again.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-23 21:05

>>42
Sorry, but the only unclear part about future is the metal of shamshir, we are gonna behead you with, kike. You know, material science is a still researched topic.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-23 21:21

>>43
ONLY UNTIL WE CUT THE FUNDING ON ALL GOYIM SCIENCE AND PURE MATH, THEORETICAL PHYSICS AND FINANCE ARE ALL THAT REMAIN.

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-23 21:22

>>43
AlalalalalallalalalalalalalalalalalasalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiBOOM

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-23 23:19

>>44
>>45
YAHVEHISTHEONETRUEGODANDMOSESISHISPROPHETSHALOMALEICHE[b]BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM[b]

Name: Anonymous 2013-03-24 0:10

>>46
Shalom, Rabbi Sadkov!

Name: James Gosling 2013-04-06 16:12

GAWWWWWWWWZMACSSSSSS FLABBERGASTS MY AUDIENCE

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