PHP is shit, JS is crap, so what is good?

If PHP and JS are bad, how am I supposed to be a good programmer?
Perl is even worse. What decent alternative can you present for scripting your websites?

>2013
>not using Ruby on Rails

>>5
Fuck off back to /g/ before the LEL-cunt comes for you.

>>6
>implying you have any authority
>implying your not a huge faggot
ISHYGDDT

>>7
LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL LE IMPLYIN/G/ XDDDDDDDDDDD
>2013
>NOT LE POSTING LE REDDIT MEMES
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD E/G/IN AS FUCK /G/RO

     ---> le greentext drop XDDDDDDDDD ------> '
>LEL
>XDDDDDDDDDD
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ISHIISHDFIHSDIFHSDIFHSDFH XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THAT WAS SO E/G/IN FOR THE /G/WIN, TRULY E/G/IN /G/ROSKY :0 XD

>>5,7
See what you've done (>>8), fagshit, Now fuck off back to /g/ with your retarded ``memes''.

>>9
>implying you're not >>8
>ISHHHAGGYDTT