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Trolling programmers

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-04 22:41

I like to troll 4chan's /prog/ramming board by posting useless code. One of my favorites is a program called "HMA.py" that simply outputs "HAX MY ANUS!!!!" (One of the lesser known internet memes) no matter what. Instead of using the simpler print "HAX MY ANUS!!!" command I use random integers and if and else statements to create a useless program.
So here is hax my anus in various languages.

#!/usr/bin/python
from random import randint
anus = randint(1, 1000)

if (anus < 500):
    print "HAX MY ANUS!!"
else:
    print "HAX MY ANUS!!"

<?php
    $hax = rand(1, 1000);
    if ($hax < 500) {
        print "HAX MY ANUS!!";
    } else {
        print "HAX MY ANUS!!";
    };

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-04 22:48

Hack my Anonymous Unix System

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-04 22:50

Look how horrible python and php look compared to the C version.


#include <stdio.h>

int main(void) {
  (rand()%1000 + 1 > 500) ? puts("HAX MY ANUS!!") : puts("HAX MY ANUS!!");
 
  return(0);
}

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-04 22:55

I am continueing troll post with Javascript

function __dbg_hax__() {
  console.log('HAX MY ANUS');
}

var hax = Math.random() * 1000;
if (hax < 500) {
  __dbg_hax__();
} else {
  __dbg_hax__();
}

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-05 4:33

>>3
Ugh


#include <stdio.h>

int main()
{
  puts(rand() % 1000 + 1 < 500 ? "HAX MY ANUS!!" : "HAX MY ANUS!!");
  return 0;
}

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-05 15:42

>>5

OPTIMIZATION


.data
anus:
.ascii "HAX MY ANUS!!\n\0"

.text
.globl _start

_start:
    pushl  $anus
    call   puts
    addl   $4, %esp
    pushl  $0
    call   exit

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-05 16:17

Honestly, I'm surprised more people don't try to fuck with programmers. It seems to me it should be easy enough to make a huge fucking mess of code that is really meaningless and will waste their time. Yet I never see that happen.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-05 16:20

>>7
Just overload the ";" operator

Yeah Perl6, i'm looking at you.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 0:02

trolling /prog/
Isn't it easier to just say "SICP + Sepples FTW" or something?

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 0:09

>>9
No because that doesn't work because it's too plainly obvious, and doesn't affect them in any way.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 0:23


#include <cstdlib>
    #ifndef _DEBUG
    #  undef NULL
    #  define NULL (TheBomb ())
    #  define CRASH_FREQUENCY 100000
    struct TheBomb
    {
       template<typename TValue>
       operator TValue* () const throw ()
       {
          return
             (rand() % CRASH_FREQUENCY)
             ?  0
             :  (TValue*)((0xFF000000 & (int)this) | (rand () & 0x00FFFFF8))
             ;
       }
    };
   
    template<typename TValue>
    bool operator== (TheBomb theBomb, TValue* value)
    {
       // Just for fun NULL == will still work properly
       return !value;
    }
   
    template<typename TValue>
    bool operator== (TValue* value, TheBomb theBomb)
    {
          return
             (rand() % CRASH_FREQUENCY)
             ?  !value
             :  !!value
             ;
    }
   
    template<typename TValue>
    bool operator!= (TheBomb theBomb, TValue* value)
    {
       // Just for fun NULL != will still work properly
       return !!value;
    }
   
    template<typename TValue>
    bool operator!= (TValue* value, TheBomb theBomb)
    {
          return
             (rand() % CRASH_FREQUENCY)
             ?  !!value
             :  !value
             ;
    }
    #endif

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 0:26

>>11
#define define undef

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 1:17

#!/bin/bash
#helloworldchecker.sh
./helloworld.sh >> helloworldlog.txt
for (( ; ; ))
do
grep "Hello World" helloworldlog.txt
done

------------------------------------------------------

#!/bin/bash
#helloworld.sh
for (( ; ; ))
do
function X() {
cat /dev/urandom| tr -dc '[a-z][A-Z][0-9]-_!@#$%^&*()_+{}|:?='|head -c 1
}
H=$(X)
E=$(X)
L=$(X)
L2=$(X)
O=$(X)
W=$(X)
O2=$(X)
R=$(X)
L3=$(X)
D=$(X)
function Y() {
(shuf /usr/share/dict/words 2>/dev/null | grep "$H$E$L$L2$O" 2>/dev/null| head -n 1 2>/dev/null)
}
A=$(Y)
function Z() {
(shuf /usr/share/dict/words 2>/dev/null | grep "$W$O2$R$L3$D" 2>/dev/null| head -n 1 2>/dev/null)
}
B=$(Z)
for i in $A; do A2=`echo -n "${i:0:1}" | tr "[:lower:]" "[:upper:]"`;
echo -n "${A2}${i:1} "; done
for i in $B; do B2=`echo -n "${i:0:1}" | tr "[:lower:]" "[:upper:]"`;
echo -n "${B2}${i:1}"; done
done

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 1:31

The ultimate troll code!

if (var != NULL)
    ...

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 9:53

<h1>Hello anus!</h1>

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 12:56

document
  .createElement("h1")
  .appendChild(
    document.createTextNode("nyaaan!")
  );

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 13:52

Sigh. Let's get some Java in here /prog/migos.

public class haxAnus
{

    public static void main(String args[])
    {
      do
      {
        System.out.println("HAX MY ANUS!");
      }while(1==1);
    }
}

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 13:56

>>17
Java
GC is shit.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 15:42

>>18

C# Master Race!

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 17:28

>>18
Good thing that's not Java then

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-06 18:37

>>17
do while
Back to le hacker news, please!

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-07 23:02


#include <iostream>
#include <rand>

void main(void) {
    unsigned int anus = (rand() % 1000) + 1;
    if (anus < 500) {
        cout << "HAX MY ANUS" << endl;
    } else {
        cout << "HAX MY ANUS" << endl;
    }
    return 0;
}

The ultimate troll program!

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-08 1:30

Let's get some DOS up here!

echo HAX MY ANUS

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-08 1:32

Fight with the autists on freenode's ##c.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-08 2:01

Reading ##c is the fastest way to realize that C is never the answer.

Name: Anonymous 2012-09-08 2:09

\r\n|yes
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