printf("Hello World"); // print outputs text and f is after print in C because it's the C way to print, so printf. ( is a bracket that always comes after printf (remember to put another bracket ( ) ) in the end, but before ";". then comes text hello world note. text is in quotes, so you can use spaces. then comes that previously discussed bracket, so ) and ; after that, but before ); you have to remember to put the last quote around text, so ". then comes comment, that is marked with //, where begins this comment and ends now to this dot.
Minutes of Review. Attending: Parity Stob (Programmer), Bill Dull (Token Peer Group Representative), John Straight (Testing), Ron Little (Design/Chair), Cheryl (Minutes).
1. Bill Dull said that Parity Stob had forgotten to do an opening comment. Ms Stob replied that she didn't think that it was necessary with so short a program. Mr Dull said, 'It may be obvious to you what it does, Parity, but it won't be so blooming clear to the poor man that's got to maintain it. I haven't been an AP/2 for 15 years without learning anything.'
The meeting actioned Ms Stob to add an opening comment.
2. Ron Little noted that the "hello, world\n" string was not capitalised, as it was in his design document pseudo code. Ms Stob pointed out that it was not capitalised in the master design document, from which Mr Little's document was derived. Mr Little stated that the master design document fell beyond Ms Stob's remit.
The meeting actioned Ms Stob to capitalise the "hello, world\n" string.
3. John Straight enquired if printf() returned a value. Ms Stob believed that it returned the number of bytes written to stdout. Bill Dull observed that it was company policy (and had been for 15 years) to collect all return values. Ms Stob enquired what the Dave Allen she was supposed to do with this return value once she had collected it. Ron Little reminded Ms Stob that the purpose of the meeting was to discover errors, not to correct them.
The meeting actioned Ms Stob to record the return value from printf().
4. Ron Little asked, 'What if printf() fails?' Ms Stob replied...
(Minutes continue in this vein for several pages)
...actioned Ms Stob to obtain a printout on nice green and white stripey paper.
The meeting adjourned. Ms Stob has 74 actions against her, plus one oral disciplinary warning (level 1). The code is to be formally re-reviewed, when Ms Stob has actioned the actions.
1. Ron Little said, 'Talk about Freudian slips; isn't it main(), not man(), hur-hur-hur, eh Parity?'
Ms Stob replied, 'Yes Ron, you're right, what was I thinking of.'
John Straight said, 'You were still distracted when you typed the string!'
Ms Stob couldn't think what had come over her. Bill Dull said that the } was out of alignment. Ms Stob was covered in confusion.
Ron Little said that, technically speaking, the meeting should minute actions against Ms Stob, but - hold on a sec. Cheryl love - since it was Our Parity, we'd say no more about it.
2. Bill Dull said he would go ahead and get them in at the EEPROM and Eaglet. A pint of Best, a monkey-juice for John and two halves of cooking lager top for the girlies, all right?
Ms Stob said that the girlies would have vodkas and tonics, thanks Ron.
3. The meeting adjourned. On the way out, Ms Stob winked at me.
Late One Night Despite extensive unpaid overtime, Verity Stob has not been able to track down an elusive bug.
"Poc!"
That's all I need. The central heating going off. Life support systems failing fast. Mr. Scott, can you do anything? I'm sorry Captain, but the Dilithium crystals canna take much more of this.
It's nine o'clock. Nine o'clock on a Friday, and I'm staring at two hundred lines of stupid poxy rotten rancid smelly manky schmanky C code. But I'll have to leave soon. I'll just look through it once more.
"If you could see your way to fixing the transaction module tonight, Verity," said the manager, his smile beaming platitudes, his eyes full of remember-it's-your-pay-review-this-month, "then I'll be able to look the Customer in the eye at our Monday meeting. I would stay myself, but there's a do on at the Masons." That was three hours ago. He'll be rolling up his trouser leg by now.
It's such a stupid bug. Look. Balance of account, Smith P, £478.23. Credit transaction £8.29. Revised balance of account, Smith P, £478946372284512.03. Finding it should be easy-peasy.
Oh look, now it's 9:23. By the way, this isn't my code. This code was written by Graham, 30 secs before he left for a cushy job in the city. You remember Graham: beer gut, nasty leer, couldn't program his way out of a paper bag. Graham, who used to pat me and say, "Structured programming limits the imagination." Until the day I replied, "Graham, if you touch me again I'll bite you," which limited his imagination still further. I hope.
Yes, of course I've tried putting lots of printf() statements. The printf() statements now outnumber the original code by about 2:1. 'Struth, it's 9:58. I'll go in a minute.
So Graham's in London earning £30k and I'm stuck here, up the creek, with a coffee to which warmth is but a distant memory, debugging Graham's imaginative code. I s'pose we could implement each other, me and him; I'm the de, he's the bugg
"Poc!"
What was that? We've already had the heating go off, it must have been the refrigeration unit cutting in. Either that or an armed psychotic burglar, come to steal my incredibly valuable Amstrad.
I wonder if it's the machine. Probably a Taiwanese microprocessor, made by a Taiwanese peasant lady, slaving over a hot microscope twelve hours a day, monthly salary 23p. I see it now. She contracted hay fever, and, what with antihistamines costing 24p from Boots (Taiwan branch), sneezed all over my CPU. One tiny globule of snot, less than one micron diameter, settled on an obsure transistor junction: two years later Stob has to work late to 10:32, correction 10:33.
This is ridiculous paranoia, get a grip on yourself. It's got to be a software fault.
Perhaps I'll just try it out on Steve's machine. Oh God, it's not booting up. Oh God, I've broken it. Well, that certainly wasn't my fault. I'll just turn it off, and feign ignorance on Monday. I'm not getting involved with dangerous screwdrivers and electricity at 11:00 in the evening. I really, really must go home now. I'll just look through the listings once more...
>>10
Something looks really off about her left nipple.
Name:
Anonymous2012-12-28 5:31
>>21
I don't expect non-neurotypicality and asexuality to be strongly correlated, so most non-neurotypicals are not asexual (as it is the case in the general population). Given the rarity of non-neurotypicals, the fact that a non-neurotypical may only be happy with another of its kind, and the previous result, we state that non-neurotypicals are actually the desperate ones, in general.
Some is getting spammed mailto:jennifer@jsquared.co.uk
The one thing I cannot understand, why is she using Mac OSX:
-----BEGIN PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----
Version: GnuPG/MacGPG2 v2.0.17 (Darwin)
Comment: GPGTools - http://gpgtools.org
going back to USENET, where I belong
Name:
Anonymous2012-12-28 10:53
not sure if trolling, or just stupid...
f is after print in C because it's the C way to print
no, the f is there for "format"
also, i think you'd want to print out line feed after "hello world", so printf("hello world\n"); would be better. puts("hello world"); would be the most correct solution.
Name:
Anonymous2012-12-28 11:04
go to reddit faggot, noonce cares about your "funny" comments
>>28
go get fucked by a truck of dicks
choke on a bag of dicks
eat a crate of dicks
eat a truck of penises
choke on a truck of dicks
choke on a crate of penises
choke on a truck of penises
go get fucked by a truck of penises
eat a bag of penises
go get fucked by a crate of dicks
go get fucked by a crate of penises
eat a truck of dicks
go get fucked by a bag of penises
choke on a bag of penises
eat a crate of penises
eat a bag of dicks
choke on a crate of dicks
go get fucked by a bag of dicks
As a black hacker, I feel offended by this thread.
Name:
Anonymous2012-12-28 15:55
As an anus, I feel haxxed by this thread.
Name:
Anonymous2012-12-28 23:58
fag += 6; //this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment "this adds to six to the variable ``fag'' and is followed by a comment..."