Most Jewish Language?

Shalom, my fellow chosen people! I am a young Jewish male who has recently realized my cultural roots and wish to become more familiar with them. The question I pose today is thus: What is the most Jewish programming language and programming paradigm? Additionally, do I need to have my computer blessed by a Rabbi before I program with it? I am told that by installing and using the free (as in money) operating system GNU+Linux, that I would be spared the wraths of G-d, but I am uncertain if it must be blessed as well.

One final request that I have is for links to private Jewish forums. I understand that there are cleansed areas of the World Wide Web were we may gather in private, but because I have yet to discover them. Any pointers in the right direction would be much appreciated.

תודה (Thank you),
Solomon Kosherstein

What is the most Jewish programming language and programming paradigm?
You're not a real Jew, else you would knew, that progamming languages and paradigms are for the goyim slaves. The Jews invent and pick paradigms based on what is good for The Jews at any given moment. הסתלק

What is the most Jewish programming language and programming paradigm?
Take a look at Haskell and Python's set comprehension features.

One final request that I have is for links to private Jewish forums. I understand that there are cleansed areas of the World Wide Web were we may gather in private, but because I have yet to discover them. Any pointers in the right direction would be much appreciated.
- www.reddit.com/r/programming
- www.4-ch.net/code
- boards.4chan.org/g

>>3
you forgot http://dis.4chan.org/prog/

intel

x86

x86 is the only Jew programming language. A Jew designed it on the toilet paper he used to wipe his ass. That's why it's complete shit.

>>2
You're not a real Jew
I admit that I have not, so-far, lived my life as a true Jewish man, but I wish to change that now and reconnect with the glory of Judaism.

>>3
They both seem nice, particularly the formatting inherent in python code, but lack the raw computing power that I need to carry out my Jewish activities. Are there any compiled, procedural, strong-typed languages that would fit my very Jewish needs?

www.reddit.com/r/programming
Are you orthodox or reformed? I am orthodox and my Rabbi warned me that it was a forum for heretical atheist and forbade me to have any thing to do with it (with the exception of business matters, of course ^-^ ).

>>5,6
Thank you! I had thought that Intel would be the preferred Jewish platform, though I wasn't sure and thought it best to ask. Would the 64-bit version of these processors work as well?

>>8
Would the 64-bit version of these processors work as well?
No, that was designed by the goys at AMD. Only Itanium qualifies as a Jewish 64-bit processor.

>>9
I'm sure AMD is also owned by the master race and not by some plebish goys.  Remember, it's always better if the goys do the work and you reap all the benefits.

LISP.

you suck

BACK TO /b/ PLEASE

>>13
print backTo(/b/)

>>14
Needs more ENTERPRISE QUALITY
new ImageBoard("/b/").backTo().toString.println();