Most Jewish Language?

Shalom, my fellow chosen people! I am a young Jewish male who has recently realized my cultural roots and wish to become more familiar with them. The question I pose today is thus: What is the most Jewish programming language and programming paradigm? Additionally, do I need to have my computer blessed by a Rabbi before I program with it? I am told that by installing and using the free (as in money) operating system GNU+Linux, that I would be spared the wraths of G-d, but I am uncertain if it must be blessed as well.

One final request that I have is for links to private Jewish forums. I understand that there are cleansed areas of the World Wide Web were we may gather in private, but because I have yet to discover them. Any pointers in the right direction would be much appreciated.

תודה (Thank you),
Solomon Kosherstein

>>2
You're not a real Jew
I admit that I have not, so-far, lived my life as a true Jewish man, but I wish to change that now and reconnect with the glory of Judaism.

>>3
They both seem nice, particularly the formatting inherent in python code, but lack the raw computing power that I need to carry out my Jewish activities. Are there any compiled, procedural, strong-typed languages that would fit my very Jewish needs?

www.reddit.com/r/programming
Are you orthodox or reformed? I am orthodox and my Rabbi warned me that it was a forum for heretical atheist and forbade me to have any thing to do with it (with the exception of business matters, of course ^-^ ).

>>5,6
Thank you! I had thought that Intel would be the preferred Jewish platform, though I wasn't sure and thought it best to ask. Would the 64-bit version of these processors work as well?