Most Jewish Language?

Shalom, my fellow chosen people! I am a young Jewish male who has recently realized my cultural roots and wish to become more familiar with them. The question I pose today is thus: What is the most Jewish programming language and programming paradigm? Additionally, do I need to have my computer blessed by a Rabbi before I program with it? I am told that by installing and using the free (as in money) operating system GNU+Linux, that I would be spared the wraths of G-d, but I am uncertain if it must be blessed as well.

One final request that I have is for links to private Jewish forums. I understand that there are cleansed areas of the World Wide Web were we may gather in private, but because I have yet to discover them. Any pointers in the right direction would be much appreciated.

תודה (Thank you),
Solomon Kosherstein

What is the most Jewish programming language and programming paradigm?
You're not a real Jew, else you would knew, that progamming languages and paradigms are for the goyim slaves. The Jews invent and pick paradigms based on what is good for The Jews at any given moment. הסתלק