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Name: Anonymous 2011-05-03 8:36

The kid next door was running round the garden waving a pretend wand and shouting out spells.
"I bet you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?" I asked him.
"Yeah!" he shouted excitedly.
So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Name: Anonymous 2011-05-03 8:46

The kid next door was running round the garden waving a pretend wizard's hat and shouting out spells.
"I bet you really want to be like the Sussman, don't you?" I asked him.
"Yeah!" he shouted excitedly.
So I wrote a metacircular evaluator with monadic and applicative interfaces that would compile to a two-stack Touring-complete automaton and execute in constant memory and linear time.

Name: Anonymous 2011-05-03 9:04

The kid next door was running round the garden waving a laptop and shouting out memes.
"I bet you really want to be like /prog/, don't you?" I asked him.
"Yeah!" he shouted excitedly.
So I sodomized and tortured him until he begged for death.

Name: Anonymous 2011-05-03 10:03

>>3
So I told him to go back to imageboards, but he decided to stay and repeat memes, and there's nothing I could do about it.

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