/prog/ - Programming, Motherfuckers

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:36

The Motherfucking Manifesto
For
Programming, Motherfuckers

We are a community of motherfucking programmers who have been humiliated by software development methodologies for years.

We are tired of XP, Scrum, Kanban, Waterfall, Software Craftsmanship (aka XP-Lite) and anything else getting in the way of...Programming, Motherfucker.

We are tired of being told we're autistic idiots who need to be manipulated to work in a Forced Pair Programming chain gang without any time to be creative because none of the 10 managers on the project can do...Programming, Motherfucker.

We must destroy these methodologies that get in the way of...Programming, Motherfucker.

http://programming-motherfucker.com/

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:40

AUTISTIC RAAAAAGEEEEEEE

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:45

i don't want your book

But i agree, Waterfall is just crap. Easy on the paper, hell on reality

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:53

>>3
Protip: specifications requirements change all the time. These were all designed to maintain structure and cohesion between the stakeholders and the ultimate code.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:00

>>4
Protip: fuck stakeholders.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:52

More like, we're all tired of Zed A. Shaw.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:59

>>3
Which is why no one deliberately uses it anymore.

>>1
Good methodology underlies every successful team effort.
You could easily run a team of the best programmers in the world into the ground with poor communication, conflicting and vague requirements and unclear division of responsibilities. That your team probably aren't the best programmers in the world adds additional requirements of quality checking and supervision.
I'm sorry if someone humiliated him by trying to run a sustainable business by managing their employees, but that's the way it works.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:59

PROGRAM MY ANUS, MOTHERFUCKER

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 10:23

>>7
Sadly, in the company i work all projects are "proyected" using waterfall.

I have advocated TDD since last year, to no avail.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 10:41

REDDIT ALERT

http://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/g92qn/the_motherfucking_manifesto_for_programming/

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:18

Programming, Motherfucker or PM is without doubt the most revolutionary idea in development methodology, everything else seems to be designed by people who want to impose a monkey coding work ethic on programmers. Take an example the project Linux, very much PM in culture and style, Git spawned from it as a solution to stopping PM from working well.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:25

Herp derp BUY MY BOOK

Very subtle.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:38

>>12
He espouses a good idea and is honest about selling his book, I'd buy it if I were unable to RTFM.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:54

NERD HUMOR

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 12:50

>>12
Back to /b/, please.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:06

>>15
Fuck you, autistic niggerfaggot.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:10

>>1
I find the idea of fucking one's mother repulsive yet intriguing.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:21

>>17
A motherfucker need not fuck one's own mother to be a strong and true fucker of mothers. No. Fucking the mothers of others is but all that is required to be earn the title of motherfucker.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:22

Best business practices, MOTHERFUCKER.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 14:46

15 Euro for your book? No thanks, motherfucker.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 15:33

>>13
Shut up, Zed.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 15:40

SOOO RANDUM XDDD

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 1:23

OK. Who did it?

http://www.reddit.com/r/programming/comments/g92qn/the_motherfucking_manifesto_for_programming/c1m0mm8

Name: @TROLLFORCE 2011-03-24 1:27

>>23
i did lol

/prob/lem, officer?

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 1:46

>>23
Why it should be a /prog/rider? It's not like /jp/ is our s-sister board or something...

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 2:01

/prog/ is tsundere for /jp/

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 7:48

>>25
The guy is the retainer of Racket in /reddit/, he obviously comes from here.

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 8:50

http://blog.objectteams.org/2011/02/bye-bye-npe/

WHY THIS? WHY NURUPO‽

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 9:57

>>28
That's the greatest thing about Java weenies. They spend all their time making gigantic testing systems and documenting systems. If they'd spent half their time writing their damn code then they wouldn't need to make all that other crap.

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-31 20:26

Number of foreigners claiming UK benefits leaps 41% in 5 years: More than 400,000 now handed payouts that cost taxpayers billions each year

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-31 21:57

ポーター兼ガイドらしき若者が二人付き添ってたようだね
さすがにガイド二人入れば大丈夫でしょ
大キレットでも行けるよ

Programming, Motherfuckers

1 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:36

2 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:40

3 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:45

4 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:53

5 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:00

6 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:52

7 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:59

8 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:59

9 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 10:23

10 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 10:41

11 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:18

12 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:25

13 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:38

14 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:54

15 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 12:50

16 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:06

17 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:10

18 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:21

19 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:22

20 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 14:46

21 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 15:33

22 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 15:40

23 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 1:23

24 Name: @TROLLFORCE 2011-03-24 1:27

25 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 1:46

26 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 2:01

27 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 7:48

28 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 8:50

29 Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 9:57

30 Name: Anonymous 2013-08-31 20:26

31 Name: Anonymous 2013-08-31 21:57

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:36

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:40

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:45

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 8:53

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:00

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:52

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:59

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 9:59

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 10:23

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 10:41

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:18

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:25

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:38

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 11:54

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 12:50

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:06

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:10

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:21

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 13:22

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 14:46

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 15:33

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-23 15:40

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 1:23

Name: @TROLLFORCE 2011-03-24 1:27

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 1:46

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 2:01

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 7:48

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 8:50

Name: Anonymous 2011-03-24 9:57

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-31 20:26

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-31 21:57