I'm a /prog/rider who's been doing actual ENTERPRISE development for about a year.
Stuff I realize now:
* The main incentive for properly separating application layers and making sure your code doesn't have anything hard coded in it isn't really robustness, flexibility, scalability, etc. It's protecting yourself from stupid clients. Clients have a hard time explaining themselves, and they often don't know what they really want or need. They might change their minds at the last moment, or believe that some change they forgot to mention is "tiny". Enterprise-grade software is client-proof software.
* Enterprise software must be practical, not smart. Sometimes the client will love you for creating a butt-ugly UI that allows him to shove all the data in a single window, and disdain you for building something that is usable, pretty, and elegant.
* The greatest danger an enterprise developer might face is maintaining old code. All efforts should be made to write code that's easy to maintain. This has a very sad consequence: you have to dumb it down. Nobody knows functional programming; avoid lambda expressions, lists, filter, map, reduce. Keep it simple. You don't have to comment fucking everything, but at least give a general idea of WTF you're doing in complex pieces and give your variables and methods names that make sense. Verbosity goes together with algorithmical complexity: if you're writing something simple, write concise code; if you're writing something intricate, make it verbose. Forget language-specific tricks.
* Don't write anything serious right before your vacation.
* Always write a document describing the general architecture of your software. Stick to it. Don't be a dickhead, don't make yourself irreplaceable. Think about the people who'll do emergency maintenance on your application.
* Women are terrible coders. Especially the pretty ones. Always revise their shit.
* Bosses and software "engineers" are mostly useless unless they can write good code. I'm not saying they should: I mean this is how you test them for decency. If you're unsure about your boss, ask him about his past professional life, what projects he worked on, etc. If he's been a programmer in the past, great. If he hasn't, be careful. Watch out for stupid decisions that might impact your work. Always keep that in mind.
* Java development is a pain in the ass, but everything is free. .NET development is not a pain in the ass, but everything costs money.
* Good PHP code is impossible to write. If you think you wrote good PHP code, you're wrong.
* Always keep friendly relationships with the network, server and database guys. They mostly hate developers, and they can and will fuck you over.
>>1 * Women are terrible coders. Especially the pretty ones. Always revise their shit. Erika proves you wrong.
* Always keep friendly relationships with the network, server and database guys. They mostly hate developers, and they can and will fuck you over.
Having been on both sides of this blood feud, I can tell you that it's for a very good reason.
>>6
Cudder is a MTF attention whore ``transsexual'' and can't code. I don't think there was ever any suggestion HAHAHaruhi was anything but male, though I've never seen any of his code, I don't think.
>>1
This All efforts should be made to write code that's easy to maintain. ...avoid lambda expressions, lists, filter, map, reduce. Keep it simple. ...give a general idea of WTF you're doing in complex pieces and give your variables and methods names that make sense. Verbosity goes together with algorithmical complexity: if you're writing something simple, write concise code; if you're writing something intricate, make it verbose. Forget language-specific tricks.
And especially this. 90% of the code on this board (and open source projects in general) is unmaintainable shit. No one sees it because too many nerds are drunk on the klever-kode-koolaid.
This is also why Lisp will never be a mainstream language.
>>18 There is no point in writing code that people won't understand.
If people don't understand code written in the language they were employed to maintain code in, they have no business being employed. Stop making excuses for enabling the rampantly incompetent.
>>18
"lambda expressions, lists, filter, map, reduce" are not "unconventional abstractions". they were all around for decades before the steaming pile of shit that sepples programmers call object-oriented programming.
What is it about PHP that makes people write like this?
maybe it's the fact that your code ends running slow as fuck and full of bugs even if you write good code, so there's no motivation to even try to write good code?
>>41
I wish I was. It gets worse: there were only 3 entries in the table that satisfied the criteria... which is why it was brought to my attention.
>>42
Oh how witty you are, you pedantic spaz. The sad truth is you're almost right: more than 99% of the time it failed to do anything at all. If you got really lucky it would find a suitable row before the HTTP timeout.
Nobody knows functional programming; avoid lambda expressions, lists, filter, map, reduce.
You're supposed to dumb it down so other less competent coders would understand your code?
>>60
Someone's ldap/svn/git password just got "chage'd" on a random basis.
Oh yeah and your tickets to SysOps, they all get reassigned to the lowest priority. You will never be able to find out why either, shit just happens that no manager will ever know about, ever.
My glass house with raised floor beats your cube code monkey boy.
>>58
I swear I have met so many sysop assholes who have some kind of chip on their shoulder about what they're doing such that they adopt precisely this shitty attitude. This is across the board -- in my professional life, obviously, but my own mother, who works at a small high school: her school's "sysop" gives her all sorts of various problems to this day because she once lodged a complaint about the email servers being down for two weeks a few summers ago. TWO WEEKS. So now he breaths down her usage like a hawk. My little old harmless mother. You're all fucking nerds with daddy issues. Get the fuck over yourself.
Name:
Anonymous2010-07-19 13:54
Real life trolling is so much more satisfying than the online variety :)
If I can bring a frown to your day, that just makes me one contented admin.
Somewhere there's a fire, just waiting for lusers like you to die in.
>>65
The only problem with your story is that you left out the part your mom's email didn't work because she had the wrong email address, mail server settings and client program1 and refused to acknowledge any of it when corrected. She complained every day and refused to cooperate with troubleshooting for TWO WEEKS.
I just made that up, but we all know it's pretty damn accurate and it explains >>58's misanthropy quite well.
1. I don't care how cute the little dog is, you can't connect to email with that Mac FTP client.
Name:
Anonymous2010-07-19 14:25
>>68
Ply me with Weed McNuggets and Beerverages and I will overlook your private stash of pr0ns, and the bandwidth it ate.
Can't have it on the prod boxes though. Just ain't proper. Dev boxes are another matter.
I think there are about as many sysadmins who are pissed off because of moronic users as there are who act pissed off in the hopes that nobody will notice they don't actually have a clue what they're doing. I'm pretty sure >>58,63 is an example of the latter.
>>73
I'm actually employed as a sysadmin, not a programmer. An actual sysadmin, that is, not a high school kid who just read that BOFH crap and thinks that's the way the world works.
The only sensible person in this entire thread was the OP, and even he was an asshole. Seriously, what is wrong with you people? Let's talk about programming like human beings.