/prog/ - /prog/ jokes

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-08 10:54

Some people when confronted with an miopia think "I'll wear glasses", now they have four eyes.

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 1:56

>>39
He dropped out of Japanology because it was full of weeaboos.
And I don't doubt /prog/ and /jp/ share a lot of users, they just aren't identical sets.

>>40
04:54:56 < Cairnarvon> I've just been unbanned, apparently.

(Three hours ago.)

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 10:32

_{^{DESU DESU DESU}}

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 11:30

>>42
Valid Jap talk

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 14:57

A mathematician, a biologist, and a physicist are sitting at a corner cafe for coffee. Across the street they see a building with a revolving door.

During a lull in conversation, the three scientists observe two people walk into the building, and three people walk out.

The biologist says, "This must be proof of procreation inside the building!"

The physicist says, "I think we can chalk this up to experimental error."

The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the building, the building will be empty"

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 16:42

At that moment, the Sussman was enlightened.

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 17:39

>>44
Stop rewriting the same joke

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 19:10



public class MyFirstProject1

  public static void main(String loldontusethese[])

  {

    ArrayList<Person> mybuilding = new ArrayList<Person>();

      mybuilding.add("sussman");

   ;mybuilding.add("anon")

    mybuilding.remove("sussman");

     mybuilding.remove("anon");mybuilding.remove("

hmafan

");

  

    mybuilding.add("hma meme smith");

      if(mybuilding.contents().getSizeFactory().getBuildingObject().getsize().toInteger().toint() == 0){

      System.out.println("building is empty");

    }else

    System.out.println("darnation");

  }

}

}

}

Can't get it to compile, your joke sucks.

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-24 5:18

Why did the baker have brown hands

He KNEADED MY ANUS lol lol

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-24 5:34

SCHEME TOOK ALL DEFUN OUT OF LISP

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-24 5:42

echo dsrovIgifvAwlIdslBhvwITEIChDFSRFIQOIORFIQOPIONMLDdsrovIgifvAwlIbvhIJdszgIwlvhIgsrhIyfgglmIwlKJBdirgvIH1HGAwlmvHGDtADFEDwCBhsAwlmv|tr a-zA-Z zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba\;\|\'\/\#^\&\\\\\ \"\?\$\*.+\)\]\[\(-|sh

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-24 8:00

>>49
THEN USE A MACRO

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-24 8:56

>>49
and good fucking riddance

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-27 22:39

Some people, when confronted with a math problem, think ``I know, I'll just use a quadratic''. Now they have two solutions.

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-27 23:29

>>50
wtf does this do?

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-27 23:44

>>53
Oh god.

Name: Anonymous 2010-05-28 4:06

>>53
Not necessarily 2 different solutions, however

Name: Anonymous 2010-06-06 16:46

>>53
That one made me laugh.
UBANTU PANTSU.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 9:37

Gerald got seven apples from Julie, then he ate three apples. How many apples does Gerald have now?

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 9:57

>>58
He has fifteen, because he started with eight, and the three he ate belonged to Nora in the first place.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 10:08

>>59
He is fifteen, but now he's eight. He belongs to Nora in the fisting place.

I need to stay the hell off of asstr

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 10:25

>>58
Three iff he is a Sepples programmer.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 10:55

>>61
Now, what are the last two names in http://www.ibm.com/developerworks/kr/library/s_issue/20070403/sicp-cover.jpg ?

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 12:51

>>62

The last two names are "eval" and "apply".

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 23:11

>>9
Some people, when confronted with some cheese, think, "I'll make a sandwich." Now they have no problems.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 23:31

>>64
Actually, without butter, they have two problems.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 1:15

Some people, when confronted with http://dis.4chan.org/read/prog/1273330487/ , make a "two problems" joke. Now we have n+1 "two problems" jokes.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 1:29

>>66
Aha! Is it n+1 or n*2?

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-26 22:37

/::::::/::::::::::::::::＼/　　　|:::::/|:::::|　|::::::|　|::::|::::::::|:::::::::::::|::::::::::＼:::::::::::::::
:::::::/::::::::::::::::::／ヽ､　|::/　|::::|　|::::::|　|::::ﾄ､:::::|､:::::::::::|:::::::::::::::ヽ:::::::::::
:::::/::::::::/::::::/　 ,=＝＞ﾄ{_,　|:::|　|::::::|　|::::|　＼|＼::::::::|::::::::::::::::::|::::::::::
／|::::::/|:::::::| イ／(　)､ヽ　|:::|　l｀'十┼┼-----‐＜「:::::::::::|:::::|::::::::::
　 |:::/::ｏ::::::|　| {::::::l|l|::!｜　 V　 |:::::!　ﾚ/´,ｨ´‾｀ヽ::::ﾄ、::::::::|:::::|::::::::::
　 '.:::::|::ｏ::!　ヽヾ､:::ノノ　　　ヾ､| 　 | /::ヽ､＿ノ'　ヽ:::::::|:::::|::::::::::
／.:::ﾟ:::∧:::::|(__)ﾆ＝=ﾆ　　　　　　 | |::::::l|l|ｌ:::::::|　　ﾄ､::::!::::｡:::::::::
.::::::::::/::::ﾊ:::| ´‾‾｀　　　　　　　　ヽヾ､;;;;;;;;;;ノ　　Ｏ::::ｏ::::::::::::::::
::::::::/::::/ .:ヾ､　　　　　　.:::　　　　　´‾ ＝=‐-　二つ /:::::::::::::::::::::::::::　　　　　　　RABBI WALKS INTO CAT!
:::::/::::/ .::::∧　　　　　　｀　　　　　　　　　　　　 /::::::::/::::::::|:::::::::　　　　GETS DEVOURED!!
::/::::/ .:::::/::∧ 　　　ヽ｀'ー---　、　　　　　／.::::／:::::::::::|:::::::::
/:::/ .:::::/.::/.::.ヽ　　　 |:::::::::; -‐::::.ヽ　　　　／.::::／:::::::::::::::::|:::::::::
::::;' .:::::/ .::ｉ:::::::::.＼　　　 !:::/7:::::::::::::::::ｉ　　　／.::::／:::::::::::::::::::::::|:::::::::
.:::! .:::/ .:::::!:::::::::::::/＼　　Ｖ〈::::::::::::::::::::| 　 ∠:::::／:::::::::::::/.:::/::::::|:::::::::
::::|:::/ .:::::::l::::::::::::/.::::::.＼　＼ヽ､＿／/　　　　/::::::::::::::::/::::/|:::::::|:::::::::
::::' .::::::::/::::::::::/.::::::::::::::.＼　｀'ｰ--‐'　_,. ‐'"/.::::::::::::／.::::/::|:::::::l＼::::
:::::::::::::／.::::::／.::::::::::::::::::::::.｀'ｰ--‐''"´ヽ　／.:::::::::／.:::::／::::|:::::::|　＼

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 0:16

>>65
What kind of barbarian combines butter and cheese?

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 0:45

>>69
I do.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 2:35

>>70
You must be American.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 3:06

>>71
Would you look at that. I'm not.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 3:07

Wow /prog/ is terrible at ASCII art.

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 3:21

>>73
░ ░ ░░ ░░ ░ ░░ ░░░ ░░░░░░ ░░ ░░░░ ░ ░ ░ ░░░░ ░░░ ░░ ░░░░ ░░░░░ ░▒▒░░ ░░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░ ░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░ ░▒▓▓▒░ ░░░▒▒▒░ ░▒▒▒▒▒░ ░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░ ░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒██▓▒▒▒▒▓▓███▓▒░ ░▒▓▓▓▒░ ░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░ ░░ ░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░▒▒▓██▓▓▓███████▓▒░ ▒▓▒▒▒ ░░░░░░ ░░ ░░░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓█████████▒▒ ░▒░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░ ░▒░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▒▓▓███▓▓██▓▓▒▒ ░░ ░░░░░░░░░░ ░▒░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓███▓▓▓▒▒▒░ ░░░ ░░▒░░░░░ ░▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒▒▒▒░░ ▒▒░░ ░░░ ░░ ░ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒░░ ░░░░░▒░░░░░ ░▒░░░░ ░░░░░░ ▒▒▒▒▒▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓████████▓▒▒▒░ ▒▒░ ░░░░░░░░░ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓██████████▓▓▒▒░ ░░░░ ░▒▒░░ ░░░░░░░░░ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█████████▓▓▒▒▒▒▒░ ░░░ ░░░░░░░ ▒▒▒▒░░ ░░░░░░ ░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓███▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ░░▒▒▒░ ░░░░░░░░ ░▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░ ███▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ░░░░ ░░░ ▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░ ▓█████████▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ░░▒░░░░░░ ░░░░ ▒▒░▒░░░░░░░ ▓█▓██████████▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ░░▒▒▓▓▒▒░░░░░░░░ ░░▒░░ ░▒░▒░░░░ ░ ▓▓▓▓███████████▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░▒▒▒▒▓▒▒▒▒░ ░░░░░ ░░▒▒░░ ░░░▒░░░░░░ ▓▓███▓███████████▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▒▒░▒▒░░░░░ ░░▒▒▒░░ ░▒▓▒▒░░░░ ▓▓██▓███████████████▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░ ░░▒▒▒░░░ ░▒▓▓▓▒░░ ▓▓█▓██████████████████▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ░░▒▒▒▒░░ ░░▒▓█▒ ▓▓█▓█▓███████████████████▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ░░▒▒▒▒▒░░ ░░▓▓▒ ▓▓█▓▓▓█████████████████████▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ░░▒▒▒▒▒░░░ ░▒▒▓▓░ ▓▓▓▓▓▓████████████████████████▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░ ░▒▓█▓▒ ▓█▓▓▓▓████████████████████████████▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▒▒▓▓▓▓▒ ▓▓▓▓█▓████████████████████████████████▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓█▓▓▒▒░ ▓▓▓▓▓▓███████████████████████████████████▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓██▓▓▒▒░ ▓▓▓▓▓██████████████████████████████████████▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓███▓▓▓▓▒▒░ ▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓█████████████████████████████████████▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓███████▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒░░ ▓▓▓▓▓▓██▓███████████████████████████████████████████████▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒░░░░ █▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓██████████████████▓▓▓████████████████████▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░

Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 7:32

>>73
It's funny because it's not ASCII.

Name: Anonymous 2010-08-20 16:01

[i][b]WHAT DID GOD SAY TO SATAN AFTER THE LATTER TOLD HIM TO ENJOY THE VICTORY IN THE BET
[u]?[/u]
I will, along with my Job.[/b][/i]

Name: Anonymous 2010-08-20 17:31

What did RMS say to all the hoarders´?

Join us now and share the software
You'll be free hackers
You'll be freeeeeee-eeee
...

Holy moses

Name: Anonymous 2010-09-10 23:26

Q: what do you call an advanced degree in computer science?
A: a PhP

Name: Anonymous 2010-09-10 23:47

Q: how do you call the ~~Sun Microsystems~~ Oracle counterpart of Microsoft Excel^tm?
A: OpenOrifice Spreadshit

Name: Anonymous 2010-09-10 23:57

>>78
If PHP were actually supported by people with advanced degrees, I'd have to say: PHP is like retard's version of academic computer science: it's the language that was designed and maintained and supported and promoted by the people with PhD degrees that were awarded not because of the quality of the PhD candidates'' theses, nor the intelligence of the PhD candidates, nor their positive impact on the computer science community ; but on the impact of the candidates' on gender, racial, religious, or socioeconomic makeup of the group who hold advanced degrees in computer science.

I recognize this is a instance of well-known logical fallacy, but no true computer scientist would support or agree with the use of PHP. the basic design principles of PHP are rooted in God-knows-what... fuck, there's clearly no design in PHP; I can't even make a bad analogy about it.. it's just a language where people did things in the first way they could think of, and in which they kept on doing things in the same old broken ways, even well after the brokenness was pointed out to them.and even afetr they understood why those ways were broken.

but! I know CS PhD who agree with or even know (or even in one extreme perverted case LIKE) PHP!!!

/prog/ jokes

1 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-08 10:54

41 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 1:56

42 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 10:32

43 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 11:30

44 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 14:57

45 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 16:42

46 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 17:39

47 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-23 19:10

48 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-24 5:18

49 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-24 5:34

50 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-24 5:42

51 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-24 8:00

52 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-24 8:56

53 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-27 22:39

54 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-27 23:29

55 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-27 23:44

56 Name: Anonymous 2010-05-28 4:06

57 Name: Anonymous 2010-06-06 16:46

58 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 9:37

59 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 9:57

60 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 10:08

61 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 10:25

62 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 10:55

63 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 12:51

64 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 23:11

65 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-21 23:31

66 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 1:15

67 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-22 1:29

68 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-26 22:37

69 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 0:16

70 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 0:45

71 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 2:35

72 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 3:06

73 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 3:07

74 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 3:21

75 Name: Anonymous 2010-07-27 7:32

76 Name: Anonymous 2010-08-20 16:01

77 Name: Anonymous 2010-08-20 17:31

78 Name: Anonymous 2010-09-10 23:26

79 Name: Anonymous 2010-09-10 23:47

80 Name: Anonymous 2010-09-10 23:57