Wow. Just wow.

One of my friends came over an hour ago and brought his new girlfriend with him.

She was decent looking (not fat or pasty or pimply or wearing a KAWAIILOL shirt) so I greeted her nicely and we all just hung out for a while, talking about this and that.

About thirty minutes after they arrived my two LISP books arrived in the mail and the girlfriend lets out this scary as hell shriek. At first I thought she was horribly allergic to functional programming, but then she grabbed my friends arm and started babbling about how cute they were and that they'd make SUCH A PERFECT COUPLE IF THEY WERE BOOKPEOPLE IN HER MANGA and which one she'd make "uke" and "seme" (one is a big purple and red monster of a book and the other is a sleek little white one with red writing ). Well, she said more in a less intelligible way, but that's about what I got from her spiel.

She stopped babbling after a couple minutes and just looked at me, giggling. I stared back for a second and before I could stop myself I said "Get the fuck out." I didn't yell it or anything, but I sounded pretty cold.

The incident ended with her crying and my friend calling me an ass and storming out of my apartment, dragging her along behind him.

Should I be feeling bad right now?

Yes.
You shouldn't be polluting your mind with Lisp.

>>1
Yes, you should feel bad. I mean, you haven't even told us which books they were, you pillock

>>3
LOL WHAT GTFO NOOB

>>4
F**K YOU NUBZORZ!
I WULD TOTALLY PWN YOUR GIRLE A55 IN COUNTERSTRIKEZORZ

>>4
No seriously, It might be safe to assume that the first is SICP, but I can't for the life of me think of a functional programming book with red writing on a white cover.

>>8
What do you suggest? That we tattoo the word ``slug'' on their foreheads?

>>9
s/slug/slut/ but I guess that could work too

>>8
i lol'd.
it's funny because this is what /r9k//jp/etc actually believes.

"hello, my name is jane and i have had sex with 2 men in my lifetime"

>>7
LOL I CAN 360 KICK FLIP MY ANUS

>>12
The KICK in 360 KICK FLIP is redundant and never used

>>13
you've got to be fucking kidding me.
i suppose /prog/ attracts all kinds

>>7
Leah Culver confirmed^[1] stupid furfag slut^[2]


<sub>--
1. http://leahculver.vox.com/library/post/qotd-you-might-be-surprised-to-hear-i-can-skateboard.html?_c=feed-rss
2.http://twitter.com/leahculver/status/3750997970</sub>

>>15
http://leahculver.vox.com/library/post/qotd-you-might-be-surprised-to-hear-i-can-skateboard.html?_c=feed-rss
Thought I'd say something about computer programming? Pish [sic], I think it's way cooler that I can ollie.

Worthless heathen...

BITCHES AND WHORES

>>17
SWITCHES AND ROUTERS

I WOULD OLLIE OVER UR DESK @SKEWL

I didnt know you could ollie in SQL

>>19
He didn't say SEQUEL.

I WOULD SELECT OVER UR DESK @POSTGRESEQUAL

>>15
I wish you fags would stop idolizing that slut and let her die in obscurity instead of validating all her whoring.

>>22
Was Leah mean to you, friend?:(

HACKERS AND SKATERS

>>22
It's already been > 1 year, it ain't gonna stop now
[Anonymous@/prog/ ~]$ progdb
SQLite version 3.6.12
Enter ".help" for instructions
Enter SQL statements terminated with a ";"
sqlite> select * from posts where body like "%leah culver%" order by time limit 1;
1213021438|1|Anonymous|||1213003560|I'd have sex with Leah Culver if she didn't program FIOC.
sqlite>
[Anonymous@/prog/ ~]$ python
Python 2.6 (r26:66714, Jun  8 2009, 16:07:26)
[GCC 4.4.0 20090506 (Red Hat 4.4.0-4)] on linux2
Type "help", "copyright", "credits" or "license" for more information.
>>> import time
>>> time.ctime(1213003560)
'Mon Jun  9 10:26:00 2008'
>>>
[/m]

>>25
How may I obtain this progdb and how far back does it go?

>>26
You can not obtain it （　´_ゝ`）

>>26
You must CREATE IT.
It shouldn't be hard if you're familiar with databases and a scripting language.
You know that posts don't expire on the textboards.... right?

>>26
http://github.com/Cairnarvon/progscrape/tree/master courtesy of Xarn
perhaps someone will take pity on you and upload their db, since I haven't updated mine in about a month

>>1
You should have been nicer to the young lady!!!

>>26
http://senduit.com/d77b5c
 prog.zip
This is your download URL. It expires in 1 week.

body like "%leah culver%"

>>32
dat body

Sorry, Javascript needs to be enabled to download this file.
This must been some new definition of ``needs''.

>>34
THE JAVASCRIPT GENERATES THE IP PACKETS FOR THE SERVER ON THE CLIENT SIDE TO SAVE TIME.
LRN2INTERNET

>>34
How is that a new definition? You can't use their downloading system without enabling JavaScript, so yes, it is necessary to enable JavaScript to do so.

MY CUM IS FLYING EVERYWHERE OH MY GOD THE CEILING THE WALLS IT'S A MONSTER HOSE RAGING IN MY HAND WITH THE FORCE OF A THOUSAND BULLS

　　　　　　　　 ∧　　∧　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　/　ヽ‐‐　ヽ　　　　　　
　　　　　　　彡　　　　　　ヽ　　　　　
　　　　　　 彡 　　●　　●　　　　　　　
　　　　　　 彡 　(　　　　　 l 　　　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　　　　　　彡　　 ヽ　　　　 | 　　 ＜　Horse.
　　　　　　彡　　　 ヽ　　　 l.　　　　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　　　　　/ `　　　　 （　o o)　　　　
　　　　　/　＿＿　　　　/´>　 )　　　　
　　　　　(＿＿_|_（　　　/<ヽ／　　　　
　　　　　　|　　　　　　 /　 ´　　　
　　　＿＿|　　／＼　＼ ＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　　　　　|　/　　　 )　 )　　　　　　　　　 ＼
　　　　　　 ﾋl　　　 （　 ＼　　　　　　　　　　 ＼
　　　　　　　　　　　 ＼二)　　　　　　　　　　　　＼
　 　　　 　　　　　　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ＼
　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_＼
　　 ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| |￣
　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿__| |
　 　　　　　　　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　| |
　　 ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| |

^{Back to /b/, ``GNAA Faggot''}

44 Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 20:33

<-- check em dubz