Return Styles: Pseud0ch, Terminal, Valhalla, NES, Geocities, Blue Moon.

Pages: 1-4041-

Pick 2 Superpowers

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 13:29

This poll is designed to showcase what personality you represent:
A. The ability to pause time for 1 minute for everyone but yourself. There is a 3 minute recharge time between pauses.

B. Perfection in any one skill you choose (e.g. soccer, marksmanship, guitar, etc.). No one on Earth would ever come close to your skill level for many generations.

C. Increase your intellectual capacity tenfold and a perfect memory.

D. You may alter your physical appearance one time per year. All evidence and memory of your prior appearance(s) will be altered to accomodate your new look so you will be recognizable to everyone who knows you and no one will realize the change has occurred.

E. Become exteriorly indestructable. Nothing can harm you unless you inhale, eat or absorb it.

F. To never require sleep, water, or food ever again. You also would be clean at all times (no showers required) and never have to excrete waste. Note that you may eat, drink, sleep and excrete if you so choose.

G. To be immune from age of consent, kidnapping and rape laws. Also, immunity from STDs,moralfags,social stigma and have orgasms twice as powerful and three times as long as you do now. The refractory period would only last for 45 seconds.

H. Halt the aging process at the age of 20 and guarantee immunity from illness. Note: you are not invincible; you may still be killed by anything outside of biological illness(such as road accident).

I. The ability to instantly teleport absolutely anywhere. There is a 12 hour recharge time afterwards. You may take up to four people with you.

J. Telekinesis. The weight of your target must be at most twice your weight and you may only move them within a 200ft radius of yourself.

K. The ability to hear another's thoughts. Can only be used on one person at a time.

L. Your strength, agility and reflexes are increased tenfold.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 13:34

M. Satori

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 13:36

K. Is more of a curse than a superpower.
That being said, these descriptions are far too vague.
Also, what is a ``moralfag''?

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 13:38

I'd like to be able to shoot disembodied homing cocks from my hands.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 13:41

暑女

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 13:42

>>3
Moralfags are people who have a conscience, or who think niggers and fags are human beings.

I sure know I'm not one!!

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 13:44

>>6
Interesting. I'm assuming you mean gay people with conscience (the -fag suffix)?

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 13:44

Eh, some of those are nice, but why such harsh limitations.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 13:44

C and maybe A

G isn't even a superpower it's just rape and pedophilia.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:06

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:09

>>10
No, IHBT by /b/tards on            .

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:11

>>10
I read that article and I wish I didn't. "lulzfags" was the most repulsive thing I have heard since "microblogging".

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:21

>>12
say that to my face fucker not online and see what happens

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:24

>>13
Your so thought online! Why dont you tell me were you live so I can visit you on the astral plane!

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:29

>>14
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!!
you think your tough huh?
two words MUAY THAI.
i have taken out two guys at the same time in less than 5 seconds i have been training for 3 years.
also brazilian jujitsu,boxing,and tai chi.
you might be bigger than me,but i know im stronger and quicker.
i only weigh 130 pounds pure lean muscle.
one punch you'll be on your way to ICU.
your the one whose a homo.i can get pussy anytime i want you probably haven't ever been laid before.
you probably have sex with your computer.
you don't even know me,and you don't want to.
you'll be lucky if your even worth the fight one phonecall and you'll dissappear forever.
though i'd be hapy to humiliate you in front of all your friends.
btw IM the best.
i have fought in maine, new hampshire, new york,utah, colorado,florida,bahamas.
never lost a fight!
im undefeated in competitive muay thai/MMA.
im on my way to UFC.
go ahead and come step anytime you want.b*tch

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:31

>>15
That's impressive! I bet your boyfriend is really proud of you as he is fondling your penis.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:33

/prog/- superhero discussion.

Name: TRUE TRUTH EXPERT !tQq1sLlmuk 2009-09-24 14:34

>>16
tHAT'S OLD ACTUALLY.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:34

>>15
I dont think so anon!

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:35

>>18
You might want to turn your caps lock off.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:38

>>16-20
OKAY YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT PROGRAMMER
GODFUCKIGNDAMN
FIRST OF ALL, YOU DONT FUQIN KNOW WHAT A MAN PAGE IS
SECONDLY, THIS IS /prog/ DO NOT DEMAND USEFUL ANSWERS THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO BE
THIRDLY PROGRAMMING IS ALL ABOUT PHILOSOPHY AND ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
AND FUQIN LASTLY, FUCK OFF WITH YOUR BULLSHYT
EVERYTHING HAS ALREADY BEEN ANSWERED IN >>3,4,10

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 14:43

There were three pieces of rope wandering in the desert. They were very hot and thirsty. They came upon a bar and one went in. He asked for a drink and the bartender said, 'read the sign buddy we don't serve ropes.'

'Oh come on just this once', the rope asked again. The bartender said 'nope', so the rope left. The second rope figured he was a bit better looking and maybe the bartender would soften a little and let him have a drink. He went in and asked for a drink, the bartender shook his head and said 'Hey Buddy, it's just like I told  your friend we don't serve ropes here.' Dejected the rope left the bar.

The 3rd rope heard both of their stories, thought for a moment. Then he rolled himself into a knot and fluffed the ends. The third rope went into the bar like this and asked for a drink.

The bartender asked, 'Hey are you a rope?' The 3rd rope looked down at himself and said '"I put on my wizard robe and hat. My other car is a cdr." The rope pulls out a cudder from his pocket, and shoves it down the throat of the bartender. "Take that, motherfucker!!!!"

Name: sage 2009-09-24 15:37

G and B (skill: programming)

that's what /prog/ is dreaming of

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 15:56

A.
YES.

Then either I of K.
Depends if I either want to travel the world or get a girl friend.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 15:58

>>21

HAHAHAHA
YOU THINK YOURE THOUGH UH ?
I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU
THE FORCED INDENTATION OF THE CODE
GET IT ?
I DONT THINK SO
YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT MY OTHER CAR I GUESS ?
ITS A CDR
AND IS PRONOUNCED ``CUDDER''
OK YOU FUQIN ANGERED AN EXPERT PROGRAMMER
THIS IS /prog/
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST HERE ONLY IF YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SATORI
PROGRAMMING IS ALL ABOUT ``ABSTRACT BULLSHITE'' THAT YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND
I HAVE READ SICP
IF ITS NOT DONE YOU HAVE TO
TOO BAD RUBY ON RAILS IS SLOW AS FUCK
BBCODE AND ((SCHEME)) ARE THE ULTIMATE LANGUAGES
ALSO
WELCOME TO /prog/
EVERY THREAD WILL BE REPLIED TO
NO EXCEPTION

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 15:58

>>4. Twice.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 16:39

I + E

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 17:02

H + L. Im already an expert programmer with more than enough intelligence.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 17:06

H + F mother fucker Id do fucking heroin all day

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 17:09

>>29
good choice

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 17:12

Can I just have a bigger penis?

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 19:01

Most obviously, B regarding Programming, then C.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 19:34

. The ability to observe ANY universe we desire, or the ability to pick the exact state current and future time/space(s) of the universe we exist in. This would be the ultimate ability, as it would make absolutely anything we want possible, not bound by any of the limitations of choices A-L, but would someone with such an ability be able to maintain his current existence as a human?

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 19:38

C + H

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 19:46

>>1
This is so fucking imprecise that it hurts. Take A. What constitutes as "yourself"? Can you alter the frozen environment, or is it rock-solid? What about your clothes? What about air? Do you have to actively move and "eat" the air? How do the timestopped people conceive this? Can you pile something over somebody, so that, when time goes on, it falls on him? What about the microscopic level; do electrons stop spinning, bye bye centrifugal force, and ram into the fucking nucleus, leading to broken bonds and, ultimately, disintegration? What is the exact physical boundary between "you" and "nonyou"?
Give me a poll made by EXPERT PROGRAMMERS and not these cretins from /b/ and we will talk.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 20:06

>>35
Language is imprecise anyway, so don't even think about refining it to some point of absolute precision.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 20:09

>>35
All right. You may choose only one.

A. is for Alan Turing. You can now seduce any gay programmer in the world.

B. is for Breathing. You gain the power of  full-automatic breathing. Never go manual again!

C. is for Sepples: You have the power to make any program written with C++ stop working remotely. You can target a specific piece of code or a specific instance of it.

D. is for Disco. You gain the ability of maintaining a social life.

E. is for Erlang. You will no longer notice when people laugh at you.

F. is for the FORCED INDENTATION OF CODE. You can force any person to indent their code for the rest of their lives. Failure to comply will result in a messy death.

G. is for Google. They provide you with a job that involves doing fibs on their hardware.

H. is for Haskell. You die in a few months.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 20:11

what is with all the damn /b/ threads being reposted on /prog/ thesedays?

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 20:16

>>36
One word lojban thread over

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-24 23:38

>>1
Not programming related.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 0:16

>>40
False.

Name: Anonymous 2009-09-25 2:42

>>38
Don't be a lazy nigger and post content.

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-10 9:15

Name: Anonymous 2011-01-31 21:07

<-- check em dubz

Name: tray 2012-03-14 16:03

you better be

Name: tray 2012-03-14 16:04

you better be

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-14 16:54

>>1
I choose F and B with skill=masturbation.

Name: Anonymous 2012-03-14 17:54

I choose B with skill=picking more than two superpowers.

Name: Anonymous 2013-01-19 23:18

/prog/ will be spammed continuously until further notice. we apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

Don't change these.
Name: Email:
Entire Thread Thread List