A better Haskell than Haskell

I would like to introduce you fine gentlemen to the programming language Clean, which is markedly superior to Haskell in every respect. And I do mean "respect," in that it has earned yours simply by being. I hope that you have the common sense to bow down and worship this superior programming language. If you don't, I suppose there may well be no hope for all of you.... You will just have to perish in flames.

Clean Language is a questioning technique that is used especially in psychotherapy and coaching. Clean Language is optimized to have the client discover and develop personal symbols and metaphors, without contamination or distortion of the developing metaphor landscape through the way the questions are put.

Clean Language was developed by David Grove in the 1980s as a result of his work on clinical methods for resolving clients' traumatic memories. As Lawley & Tompkins describe it, "He realised many clients naturally described their symptoms in metaphor, and found that when he enquired about these using their exact words, their perception of the trauma began to change."

Oh man, I remember this language from back in 2001

http://wiki.clean.cs.ru.nl/Clean

So hard to keep track of them all. This isn't the interesting one, that was ATS, right?

>>4
gb2 the fucking labs you twat

>>4
Yeah ATS is the one that had fucked up syntax, and was beating C at its own game until a REAL PROGRAMMER came along and rewrote the C benchmark entries so they'd actually be fast

>>6
http://shootout.alioth.debian.org/u64q/benchmark.php?test=all&lang=all&box=1

C++ GNU g++
C GNU gcc
ATS
Java 6 -server
Java 6 steady state
Haskell GHC

The order of the first two makes me want to cry. The last one makes me smile.

BTW, can anyone explain what "Java 6 steady state" means? I can't find a clear explanation anywhere on the shootout.

>>7
Java takes some time after it starts up to reach a stable point after which things will start taking stable amounts of time. ``Steady state'' refers to this point.
Presumably it's still loading libraries and whatnot in the background before that, but it's equally likely that Sun is just fucking with you.

>>7
Yeah, it feels really good to be justified in hating Haskell. A 2x speed decrease from C is simply unacceptable.

>>7
Three kinds of lies:
- Lies
- Damn Lies
- Statistics

>>8,9
I can't tell who is trolling who and if sarcasm was employed.

...who is trolling whom...

ITT: trolls trolling trolls

>>8
It's probably already done loading libraries by the time you get any degree of interactivity with it at all. The added wait is just due to the JIT compiler actually being more of a just-too-late compiler.

>>13
Take your "ITT" back to the image boards. The proper syntax for stating your sentiment is "IHBT" here.