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IF PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES WERE

Name: Anonymous 2009-08-16 1:53

It's been a long time since the last discussion of this topic.

If programming languages were women:

PHP is a disease-ridden whore. Years of drug abuse have turned her brains to jelly, and she can barely remember where her children are, when she remembers she has any. But she'll suck your cock for a vial of zyme.

Lisp is cute and funny and just about the coolest person you know. But she's got a few too many, uh, curves, so you always pass her by even though you know you'd be happier with her.

Haskell is a feminist lesbian. She's got her own ideas about how this stuff should work, and her fear of "side-effects" has made her uninterested in men.

C++ isn't pretty, but she'll do anything you want in bed... no matter who you are. That's not to imply she's well-rounded or pleasant to be with: in the end, she's just a masturbation aid.

Haskell is a feminist lesbian. She's got her own ideas about how this stuff should work, and her fear of "side-effects" has made her uninterested in men.

APL is exotic and foreign. She's a woman of few words, not that it makes a difference since you can't understand them anyway. Word is she'll blow your mind if you can get to know her.

Python is domineering and fastidious, but she's pretty easy to live with if you do things her way. She's not the swiftest one around, but she can keep a household running and make it look easy.

C is high-maintenance as they come, but if you can keep her happy it's fast times.

Name: Anonymous 2009-08-16 3:59

>>5
I like Konata because she is a otaku like me, except she has friends. Oh god I wish I had friends too ;_;
 
 Konata also likes videogames and she is kawaii. And there are lesbians in the show and that's good because I like lesbians and I will never have a girlfriend. Why am I such a loser?!
 
 Konata is like my dreamgirl she has a :3 face I love that. She is also nice why aren't real girls nice!? I got dumped a lot of times but I love konata and she wouldn't dump me because she's so nice and cool.
 We would play videogames all day and watch Naruto and other cool animes on TV, and I would have sex with her because sex is so good. I wish I could have sex with a girl.

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