Programmers are the worst losers in the whole world. They are
humanity's most useless members.
Unable to do anything since their childhood because of their black
soul and dull conscience they start digging the memory of a primitive
device --- personal computer --- their parents bought to them out of
pity. These diggings (also called "programming"), which are in fact
nothing but typing meaningless strings of symbols solely to relieve
the pain in an empty and worthless soul, induce the feeling of
euphoria, which, however, doesn't last for very long, and soon it
makes space for more familiar loneliness, tastelessness and
senselessness of existence; such feelings can only appear in a dry and
talentless soul, in a soul can only see emptiness, despair and
unwillingness to live, limited by perishing and ash-like body.
Name:
Anonymous2009-04-26 15:05
Programmers usually write programs and create network protocols and
services for their own kind. Everything that is made by programmers
has only one aim --- that of a painkiller which is prescribed to the
terminally ill not to heal but merely to make the suffering of an
already lost life bearable, to reduce pain. Pain and darkness in the
foul-odored dark and incapable soul of the subhuman.
Awful creations of the programmers only increase the number of people
who had lost all belief in all that is bright and pure. Programmers
had spawned these loudmouth mithgols and flat-bottomed kashenites,
that, despite the lack of any hope for a spark in their soul, continue
to send piles of random garbage information through network channels.
Name:
Anonymous2009-04-26 15:05
tl;dr
Name:
Anonymous2009-04-26 15:06
In addition to that, programmers who already had lost all means to
feel anything enlightened, came up with a "holy mission" --- "open
source" --- to create even more meaningless programs designed to be
used only by them, the programmer losers...
Tired of the grey gleamlessness of existence, programmers punch broken
and beerstained keys at night... being sure that their piles of crap
can be useful to the world that they failed to love through the
thickness of meaningless and empty soul... And in these moments thoughts appear in their minds overloaded by illusionary symbols, rare
like night birds.
Name:
Anonymous2009-04-26 15:06
Most thoughts are just "Why live..."
Programmers usually don't get to think why they live. But they die
early. Reasons of death are diverse; the basis of all reasons is the
gaping emptiness of soul, full of blunt pain and worthlessness...
Thank you for listening.
Name:
Anonymous2009-04-26 15:09
OP is a programmer, what a disgusting creature.
Name:
Anonymous2009-04-26 15:09
/prog/rammers, you mean. neckbeard unix cultists. they are only one variety of informational technology professionals who work with computer coding.
My descent into computing was a result of my inability to deal with the loss of my mother. 18 years later, I am still trying to come to terms with it. As I slowly but surely do overcome it, I find myself interested in computing less and less.
You can debase any type of hobby or skill in the same cynical manner. Stamp collecting, piano practice, creative writing, studying philosophy/logic, etc etc.
I guess programmers are an easier target though, since they tend to be social recluses.
Name:
Anonymous2009-04-26 18:50
>>12
Actually it's a translation. The author is a Kolen.
Name:
Anonymous2009-04-27 18:06
>>13
Except that all the people you mentioned don't sit 24 hours/day in a dark room looking at their pianos, stamps etc.
Try again.
Name:
Anonymous2009-04-27 18:21
>>15
I program in a well-lit environment, and I shower every few days, thank you very much.
Name:
Anonymous2009-04-27 20:42
>>15 Except that all the people you mentioned don't sit 24 hours/day in a dark room looking at their pianos, stamps etc.
Perhaps because those things don't glow in the dark.
It's actually weird, but most of the CS majors and programmers at my uni are quite social creatures, I don't know where this viewpoint that "programmer = basement dwelling troll" came from. Maybe it's just an american thing?
>>20 [...bad grammar and generally incoherent sentences...]
I don't think you go to university or even graduated from high school. Enjoy you're burger flipping.
>>22
I’ve come across many people who like to point out grammatical errors of other people and most have the same common characteristics: they are arrogant, snooty, and they seem to think that such “grammatical attacks” make them appear to be more intelligent than the victim. I was blessed with a fairly high IQ and I pay little attention to grammar because it really doesn’t matter much as long as I get the point across. Likewise, our IQs and other characteristics that are beyond our control really do not matter in this world. You will be on your death bed before you know it. Do you want to look back on your life and realize that all you have done is fought for your own pride and vanity? Or will you even be so wise? Perhaps you will only look back at how well you spoke your nonsense and hope that your wonderful grammar will be legendary.
I simply press the EXPERT button on my keyboard, which is tied to a custom scancode that a daemon hijacks, and then identifies the currently active program and sends the appropriate key events. This way, in Firefox, it sends [b][i][o][u][/u][/o][/i][/b], followed by sixteen left-arrow events; if I am using Emacs, it invokes M-x expert-mode; and if I am on the command line it executes w3m http://mitpress.mit.edu/sicp/. I also have bindings for OpenOffice, which performs an elaborate series of keystrokes to toggle the appropriate font styles, and my personal favorite, the Gimp, which creates a new image the size of the screen, draws the /prog/snake, inserts the text I'VE READ SICP at the top.