If programmign languages were cars

C would be an old truck

Lisp would be a cdr.

Cdr would be my other car.

Java would be the 1899 Horsey Horseless.

http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/article/0,28804,1658545_1657686,00.html

Somewhere between an assembler and PHP is Java, the brainfart of inventor James Gosling of Sun, was intended to soothe the skittish nerves of amature script kiddies. C style syntax was attached to the front of JVM in order to make it resemble a real programming language (Gosling recommended the terse outdated syntax as a hollow attempt at mainstream acceptance — another great idea). "The primitive types would be thinking of being objects," said Gosling, "and before he could discover his error and see that he had been fooled, the programmer would be stuck with a class based object oriented language that didn't orient everything as objects." Stupid programmer! It's not clear if the Java was ever actually built or if it is an accidental shit stain on a floppy disk, but it reminds us just what a radical, hard-to-conceptualize thing a Java programming language was.

Assembler would be a fucking super car with rockets on it.

Haskell would be a bicycle.

>>6
Haskell would be a dog sled.

>>4
That page lists the DeLorean as one of the worst cars of the 1980s, downvoted for inaccuracy. Bury this shit.

Lisp would be alien space ship

>>9
with tentacles(

Stop beging faggots.

Pascal would be the Tucker Torpedo
Modula the Bricklin SV-1
Perl the Range Rover Classic
Python the Volvo V90

>>5
No, assembly language would be walking.

>>13
Walking with rockets!

>>14
Jetpack?

>>14
No, walking with feet and no shoes. On rocks, if it's x86.

>>16
more like crawling on your hands and knees across broken glass

Database programming with Jython and Oracle PL/SQL would be: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303720604575170323695367824.html?mod=WSJ_hp_editorsPicks

>>4
And despite your definition it is a remarkably popular Horsey Horseless.  Does it burn at night, knowing this?

Assembly would just be wheels.  You have to build the rest yourself, but it would be oh-so fast.

Erika once told me that Xarn is a bad boyfriend

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