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Halp on Java program, win Internets.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 4:11

This crap should be easy for anyone good at Java. Too bad I fucking suck at programming in general. Help me out and I will reward you in any way possible.

Here's the assignment: http://people.uncw.edu/pattersonl/121/labs/final.htm

Please, don't fail me /prog/

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 4:16

Too bad I fucking suck at programming in general.
Now is a great time to learn.

The assignment basically states out what to do and how to do it. Just follow it like a fucking recipe.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 4:25

>>1
I've contacted Patterson and linked him to this thread, warning him that one of his students has requested external help disallowed by your school's policy.
You sir have brought shame to the once great U of North Carolina Wilmington. Why, if the great Wilmongton were still alive, he would be rolling in his grave.

Seriously, it's students like you who are driving the software development industry into ground.

Name: THANKSGIVING BREAK 2008-12-09 4:45

THANKSGIVING BREAK

Name: HMA FAN 2008-12-09 10:29

The assignment basically states out what to do and how to do it. Just follow it like a fucking recipe.
Exactly, it's braindead easy. Read SICP.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 11:09

Dear god, please kill yourself.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 12:53

I'll do it, but only on noncancerous languages, like C.

In all seriousness, the exercise is utterly trivial. However, I'd worry about the whole thing - I mean, using Java, the cyan background, the JPEG images...

If I was teaching that course, students would be required to build the compiler themselves or, as an alternative, hax my anus.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 13:20

COME ON GUYS IT'S DUE TODAY

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 13:57

>>8
DIE IN A FIRE

Name: Fashionably late 2008-12-09 15:02

DON'T HELP HIM!

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 18:34

Looks like a job for Haskell: The Ironic Hipster Programming Language.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 18:39

ITT

Computer Science Education at it's highest level

JAVA

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 18:57

In my first year class, we read SICP and had to write our own meta-circular interpreters. You can't even write a fucking GUI.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 19:23

>>13
Ha ha. Good one, Anonymous. I know you really dropped out of the community college Sepples course.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 21:26

>>14
You must be thinking about your own failures. That's okay I forgive you.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 21:35

>>11
Why is Haskell the "Ironic Hipster Language"? Did I miss something?

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 21:37

>>16
And we have been trolled ironically.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 23:26

>>13
Well, to be fair, writing GUI applications are much more difficult then writing theoretical, albeit useless, meta interpreters. In Java Swing, you need to take care of event handling, window property settings, setting the window title, handling keyboard input, populating data in combo boxes, etc etc...
I would say that both exercises are actually about the same in terms of difficulty.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-09 23:38

>>18
ROFL

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 0:45

I write my GUIs functionally by expressing the color of every pixel as a function of all the program's state. Of course, the rest of the program is written imperatively.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 2:26

>>18
Well, to be fair, writing Malbolge applications are much more difficult then writing theoretical, albeit useless, meta interpreters, too.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 3:16

What some people don't realize is that enterprise programming is just as hard and complex as your fancy pants meta jiggawatts circle compiler, which by the way is pure ivory tower academic rubbish.
We on the other hand are actually dealing with real world data, I'm talking millions of simulataneous clients accessing my application. We take care of transaction management, mission critical applications, scalability, fault-tolerance, etc etc. In otherwords, we're the real men in the Computer Science industry. You fags are like little kids, playing in your toy sandbox up in your ivory tower, creating programs for your own, selfish amusement. It really is quite despicable, I must say.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 4:08

>>22
Computer Science industry
There's no such thing.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 4:09

>>22
It really is quite despicable, I must say.
How hypocritical. Your enterprise wouldn't exist without that "Ivory Tower", you know?

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 4:25

>>22
Upmodded for "ivory tower."

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 4:27

>>24
Hypocritical?  More like mission critical.

Name: THANKSGIVING BREAK 2008-12-10 4:52

THANKSGIVING BREAK

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 7:45

>>22

Define MISSION CRITIAL. Most of the times some IT faggot spouts that bullshit it's, in fact, not mission critical at all.

Proper examples of mission critical include stuff like aerospace and nuclear controllers. What you mention, stupid unimportant crap that takes "millions of simulataneous[sic] clients" is not mission critical at all. Nobody is going to die if it fails. All that's going to happen is that some bald old fags in suits are going to get butthurt over losing a few millions of dollars that they wouldn't spend otherwise.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 7:49

>>28
For most companies, the ``mission'' does not include keeping people alive. It just means doing whatever it is the company does.
The real issue isn't that people use the term MISSION CRITICAL, it's that MISSION CRITICAL isn't as important as people think it is.

Name: Step 2 discovered 2008-12-10 8:33

>>28,29
1. Our product is killing customers
2. Decline in unsatisfied customers
3. PROFIT!

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 8:49

FORMAL PROOF, BITCHES

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 9:04

Take a look at that course implementation. Java graphics API and classes are taught before loops and conditionals. What the FUCK.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 10:13

>>22
8/10

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 10:21

``simulataneous'' adj. simulating simultaneously.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 10:27

>>32
That has to be the most fucked-up ``introduction on computer science'' course I've ever seen. If you posted this to reddit with an appropriate topic line, it would almost certainly generate a months-long circlejerking contest in the blogosphere.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 10:30

>>35
DO IT MAGGOT. I haven't got a reddit account and don't know the relevant buzzwords and memes of the site.

Name: 35 2008-12-10 10:35

>>36
Blah. I only have a reddit account so I can downmod everything I don't like. Someone else do it.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 11:01

>>37
You should upmod things you like, too. It's only fair if you moderate everything.

Nobody moderates everything.



THE SYSTEM IS FLAWED!!!

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 11:50

I only have a Reddit account so I can mod up links to /prog/.

Name: Anonymous 2008-12-10 11:56

>>39

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