This crap should be easy for anyone good at Java. Too bad I fucking suck at programming in general. Help me out and I will reward you in any way possible.
What some people don't realize is that enterprise programming is just as hard and complex as your fancy pants meta jiggawatts circle compiler, which by the way is pure ivory tower academic rubbish.
We on the other hand are actually dealing with real world data, I'm talking millions of simulataneous clients accessing my application. We take care of transaction management, mission critical applications, scalability, fault-tolerance, etc etc. In otherwords, we're the real men in the Computer Science industry. You fags are like little kids, playing in your toy sandbox up in your ivory tower, creating programs for your own, selfish amusement. It really is quite despicable, I must say.