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Anti-satori

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 7:58

Dreaming about coding pisses me off so much.

I go to bed to fucking REST, not solve more problems! Irrelevant, imaginary problems! (like how to code a blade of grass to play music???) -- the solutions to which I'll forget when I wake up, anyway!

I was fucking stuck in this dream this morning, writing some code, for like an hour and a half, going in and out of consciousness.

FUCK.

Will achieving Satori bring peace to my mind and dreams?

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 8:02

That happends to me too.
I also see myself IRCing and posting on forums.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 8:09

Question:
Why would I want to write

fromTuple (One   a      ) = Left (Left a          )
fromTuple (Two   a b    ) = Left (Right (a,b)     )
fromTuple (Three a b c ) = Right (Left (a,b,c) )
fromTuple (Four a  b c d) = Right (Right (a,b,c,d))

instead of

fromTuple (One  a) = a
fromTuple (Two a b) = (a,b)
etc.

?

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 12:58

>>1
Will achieving Satori bring peace to my mind and dreams?
Partly, yes.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 13:05

Sometimes, when you're programming late at night, a solution will come to you that seems so ghastly and so barbaric that you don't dream of attempting it. But sometimes late enough, when you're tired and just about to drift off to sleep, or even if you are asleep, you'll type it without realizing it.

That is the first step. If you are truly brave, do as I say.

You will compile the code. Do not run it yet. Strip away the debugging objects and compile it once more. Open the code in a debugger, but after counting three system calls, stop.

Compile the code again. Run the program, even if it is not finished. You will see an input prompt. Ask it the question:

``To whom will they come?''

If at this point you hear any voices, scratching, or other noises behind you or in your house, get out as fast as possible, through your window (if they aren't there) if necessary. Run as fast as you can, and you may live.

If you hear nothing, then stay patient, focused on the blinking cursor. Stay absolutely calm and level-minded. If you allow fear, uncertainty, or doubt to enter your mind, you will meet a fate too painful to be imagined in the place where even in your own mind you will segfault, and demons will pierce you with exceptions for all eternity.

If you are calm, then after exactly 57 seconds, the program will crash and dump core.

In that dump is the information needed to debug them. Save it to a floppy disk and keep it with you at all times. You must not let them have it. You must keep it safe forever.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 13:11

>>5
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

I'm posting from my car... what do I do now? HELP!

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 13:12

>how to code a blade of grass to play music
I like this idea, actually.  I wish I could code reality.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 13:14

>>5
The Holder of the Dumpcodez???

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 13:20

>>5
THIS IS AWESOME.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 13:46

>>9
THEGAME?  THIS IS SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Name: ROBOT9000 !N/R9K/5u.o 2008-02-22 13:48

>>10
/jp/ IS THAT WAY, CHINK ->

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 13:51

>>11
Link please.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 16:10

>>5
I LOVE YOU.
[b]
                                                                .         
   ___  .___    ___    ___  \,___, ,    .  \,___,   ___    ____ _/_     ___
 .'   ` /   \ .'   ` .'   ` |    \ |    `  |    \  /   `  (      |     /   `
 |      |   ' |----' |----' |    | |    |  |    | |    |  `--.   |    |    |
  `._.' /     `.___, `.___, |`---'  `---|. |`---' `.__/| \___.'  \__/ `.__/|
                            \       \___/  \
NEEDS MORE LIKE THAT[/b]

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 16:12

>>13
My company acknowledges the mistake, so here is a free update to cover your expenses.


                                                                 .         
   ___  .___    ___    ___  \,___, ,    .  \,___,   ___    ____ _/_     ___
 .'   ` /   \ .'   ` .'   ` |    \ |    `  |    \  /   `  (      |     /   `
 |      |   ' |----' |----' |    | |    |  |    | |    |  `--.   |    |    |
  `._.' /     `.___, `.___, |`---'  `---|. |`---' `.__/| \___.'  \__/ `.__/|
                            \       \___/  \
 NEEDS MORE LIKE THAT

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 18:36

    __                        __
   / / __  _ __ ___   __ _   / /
  / / '_ \| '__/ _ \ / _` | / /
 / /| |_) | | | (_) | (_| |/ /
/_/ | .__/|_|  \___/ \__, /_/
    |_|
BBCODE MASTERS|___/

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 18:41



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Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 20:17

Talking about copypasta, does anyone have a copy of that story where the guy pushed his son's marbles up his wife's ass while she was asleep, and she is terrified when she shits them all out?

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 20:25

That has nothing to do with programming. /copypasta/ is that way.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 20:33

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 21:12

Updated for standards-compliance

Sometimes, when you're programming late at night, a solution will come to you that seems so ghastly and so barbaric that you don't dream of attempting it. But sometimes late enough, when you're tired and just about to drift off to sleep, or even if you are asleep, you'll type it without realizing it.

If you are truly brave, do as I say.

Go into any ENTERPRISEGRADE company in any city in any country in the world. When you walk in, the guard at the desk will not recognize you from the rest of the code monkey scum that work there. Go to him and as to see the HOLDER OF THE ENTERPRISE. He will point you in the direction of an elevator. On the fourth floor, in the far back of the room the elevator will take you to, you will find a cubicle with the code from your dreams on it.

You will compile the code. Do not run it yet. Strip away the debugging objects and compile it once more. Open the code in a debugger, but after counting three system calls, stop.

Compile the code again. Run the program, even if it is not finished. You will see an input prompt. Ask it the question:

``To whom will they come?''

If at this point you hear any voices, scratching, or other noises behind you or in your house, get out as fast as possible, through your window (if they aren't there) if necessary. Run as fast as you can, and you may live.

If you hear nothing, then stay patient, focused on the blinking cursor. Stay absolutely calm and level-minded. If you allow fear, uncertainty, or doubt to enter your mind, you will meet a fate too painful to be imagined in the place where even in your own mind you will segfault, and demons will pierce you with exceptions for all eternity.

If you are calm, then after exactly 57 seconds, the program will crash and dump core.

Save the dump to a floppy and destroy the hard drive. You cannot destroy the last copy of the dump. Do not try to, or you will be sent to the deepest plains of hell, where daemons will throw exceptions at you for all eternity.

The disc is object 539 of 7A69. On it is the information needed to debug them. Carry the disk on you at all times. You must not let it fall into their hands.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-23 0:58

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-23 3:15

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-23 8:21

>>20

This.

Name: Anonymous 2013-04-19 1:29

Komeji

Name: Anonymous 2013-08-31 22:33



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Name: Anonymous 2013-08-31 22:48

>>7
would be cool if there was a game like that
I guess there's gmod but I never tried it

Name: Anonymous 2013-09-01 0:05



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Name: Anonymous 2013-09-01 1:36



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Name: Anonymous 2013-09-01 3:06



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