Man Dies Waiting for Eclipse to Launch

A software engineer in San Jose, CA was found dead at his desk yesterday, apparently having died while waiting for his Java editing program, Eclipse, to finish its boot process. Coworkers say the engineer came in that morning vowing to "get Eclipse working on his box or die trying." The last thing anyone heard him say aloud was the cryptic comment: "I see the splash screen is appropriately blue." Nobody knows what he meant. The man was then thought to have fallen asleep, but hours later it was discovered that the engineer had died suddenly of apparent natural causes. The forensics team's investigation that evening was reportedly interrupted unexpectedly when the dead man's Eclipse program suddenly finished launching. The team tried to interact with it to see if they could find clues about the man's death, but the program was unresponsive and the machine ultimately had to be rebooted. At this time, the police commissioner says there is no evidence of foul play, and they currently believe the man simply died of either boredom or frustration.

This could have saved that poor soul!!!
http://sourceware.org/eclipse/

KICKIN RAD

Use emacs

>>4

That will take even longer to load

"I see the splash screen is appropriately blue."

The man was refering to the BSOD of his own life, he was predicting his own demise. spookie.

lol

Java is the only thing about the entirety of programming that has ever made me smile, thank god its so easily and rightfully bashable. Someone was thinking at sun.

Sauce is Steve Yegge's awesome blag (google both of them).  Almost every his article is a must-read.

Almost every his article is a must-read.
Says someone who can't use English properly.

I hereby proclaim this thread win prior to this post ;_;

>>9
GO BACK TO REDDIT K

using System;

public class Nigger
{
    public string NiggerName;
    public static int NiggerCount;

    public Nigger()
    {
        NiggerName = "nameless nigger";
        NiggerCount++;

        Console.WriteLine("New nameless nigger made!");
        Console.WriteLine("Current nigger population: " + NiggerCount);
    }

    public Nigger(string Name)
    {
        NiggerName = Name;
        NiggerCount++;

        Console.WriteLine("New nigger named " + NiggerName + " made!");
        Console.WriteLine("Current nigger population: " + NiggerCount);
    }

    ~Nigger()
    {
        Console.WriteLine("One less nigger in the world!");
    }

    /* Niggers' main method of acquiring goods */
    public void Steal(string stolenobject)
    {
        if(stolenobject == "bike")
            Console.WriteLine("Nigga stole my bike!");
        else
            Console.WriteLine("I hope " + NiggerName + " likes his new " + stolenobject + "!");
    }

    public void Eat(string food)
    {
        /* We get to be racist here and assume it's fried chicken or watermelon, disregarding
           what it really is */
        Console.WriteLine("I hope " + NiggerName + " is enjoying his fried chicken or watermelon!");
    }
}

class NiggerDemo
{
    public static void Main()
    {
        Nigger darkie1 = new Nigger();
        Nigger darkie2 = new Nigger("Jerome");

        darkie1.Steal("fried chicken");
        darkie2.Steal("bike");
        darkie1.Eat("watermelons");
        darkie2.Steal("TV");

        Console.Read();
    }
}

Almost every his article is tl;dr
Fixed.

Almost every his article is cdr

Fixed

>>13
Fail for not threadsafe.

>>16
read sicp

>>17
I shit SICP for breakfast.

>>18
read it again

Nigger

>>13
Well assuming there is some kind of late binding going on in that code, then like, can we assume that all niggers are derived from the ape class?

The way I see it, the actual existence the nigger isn't known until something happens. At that point, the nigger, along with his behavior, is bound to the ape class or what not.

FUCKING LEL

Fundamental Computer Science Discovery

Computer Scientists around the world have been reeling in shock, the stir caused by a quiet publication in the latest Communications of the ACM. The ACM article that has everyone buzzing was submitted by an anonymous software engineer at an undisclosed Seattle-area software company. The engineer has formulated a proof that invalidates one of the most fundamental results in Computer Science, specifically that "recursion" and "iteration" are formally equivalent. The new proof by counterexample is simple, compelling, and undeniable, and theorists are said to be furiously scratching themselves over the proof's implications, which are far-reaching enough to impact virtually all computer-automated industries, from aerospace technology through zooospace engineering. The anonymous author of the paper has found that there is in fact one thing you can do using recursion that you can't do using iteration, namely: "You can use it to weed out stupid fucking interview candidates."


Dyson Unveils the iSuck™ Personal Vacuum Assistant

Dyson Corporation announced today their latest innovation, a mobile handheld vacuum cleaner the size of a flashlight, dubbed the "iSuck". Dyson's spokesperson was quoted as saying that although the device was originally targeted at the middle-aged housewife demographic, the iSuck has turned out to be unexpectedly popular with men of all ages and demographics. Pundits speculate that the iSuck has finally achieved a form factor that entices men to do their own housecleaning. Dyson claims that based on extensive early user feedback, new versions of the iSuck are planned for near-term release, including a unit that doesn't dampen the motor vibrations (we assume this is to increase battery life), a wet/dry vac, and a limited edition run titled "The Patriot", which hums the U.S. National Anthem as it operates, expected to be popular aboard U.S. Navy ships for vacuuming those hard-to-reach nooks and crannies. Dyson's shares soared on the news, with analyists recommending that Dyson milk every drop from their innovative new product.