Man Dies Waiting for Eclipse to Launch

A software engineer in San Jose, CA was found dead at his desk yesterday, apparently having died while waiting for his Java editing program, Eclipse, to finish its boot process. Coworkers say the engineer came in that morning vowing to "get Eclipse working on his box or die trying." The last thing anyone heard him say aloud was the cryptic comment: "I see the splash screen is appropriately blue." Nobody knows what he meant. The man was then thought to have fallen asleep, but hours later it was discovered that the engineer had died suddenly of apparent natural causes. The forensics team's investigation that evening was reportedly interrupted unexpectedly when the dead man's Eclipse program suddenly finished launching. The team tried to interact with it to see if they could find clues about the man's death, but the program was unresponsive and the machine ultimately had to be rebooted. At this time, the police commissioner says there is no evidence of foul play, and they currently believe the man simply died of either boredom or frustration.

using System;

public class Nigger
{
    public string NiggerName;
    public static int NiggerCount;

    public Nigger()
    {
        NiggerName = "nameless nigger";
        NiggerCount++;

        Console.WriteLine("New nameless nigger made!");
        Console.WriteLine("Current nigger population: " + NiggerCount);
    }

    public Nigger(string Name)
    {
        NiggerName = Name;
        NiggerCount++;

        Console.WriteLine("New nigger named " + NiggerName + " made!");
        Console.WriteLine("Current nigger population: " + NiggerCount);
    }

    ~Nigger()
    {
        Console.WriteLine("One less nigger in the world!");
    }

    /* Niggers' main method of acquiring goods */
    public void Steal(string stolenobject)
    {
        if(stolenobject == "bike")
            Console.WriteLine("Nigga stole my bike!");
        else
            Console.WriteLine("I hope " + NiggerName + " likes his new " + stolenobject + "!");
    }

    public void Eat(string food)
    {
        /* We get to be racist here and assume it's fried chicken or watermelon, disregarding
           what it really is */
        Console.WriteLine("I hope " + NiggerName + " is enjoying his fried chicken or watermelon!");
    }
}

class NiggerDemo
{
    public static void Main()
    {
        Nigger darkie1 = new Nigger();
        Nigger darkie2 = new Nigger("Jerome");

        darkie1.Steal("fried chicken");
        darkie2.Steal("bike");
        darkie1.Eat("watermelons");
        darkie2.Steal("TV");

        Console.Read();
    }
}