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Programming Jokes

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-07 6:41 ID:nmbUVY+e

Post some of your good programming jokes here!
A good one I know is:
"My other car is a cdr" as in car and cdr from LISP

Also,
Why do programmers always confuse christmas and halloween?
Because oct[31] = dec[25]

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-10 4:45 ID:ka/cz9v8

>>36
That's RATFOR.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-10 5:06 ID:/oyQn7cs

IF U WERE DROPPED TO /opt TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR DELETION CUZ ID B N UPSTREAM BUGZILLA FLAMIN DA CUNT THAT MADE UR EBUILD!
     __   
   .'  `. 
   |a_a  |
   \<_)__/
   /(   )\
  |\`> < /\
  \_|=='|_/

    WE TRUE NERDS
    WE OPTIMIZE OUR CFLAGS TOGETHER
    WE TALKIN ON IRC WITH www.opera.com TOGETHER
    send this PENGUIN to every thread you care about including this one if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get 256 your A TRUE NERD

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-11 0:51 ID:8hMTShjh

This is a math joke, but math and programming are similar.

At the end of the year, all of the math functions decided to get together and have a little celebration.  Everyone was there:  sine, cosine, x squared, e to the x, all of the Taylor expansions...everyone.  They were all having a good time, except for e to the x.  X squared looked over to the corner and saw little e to the x just sulking with its head in its hands.  Deciding that this was unacceptable, x squared walks over to e to the x and says:  "Come on, e to the x, why not integrate?".  To which e to the x replied "Why bother, it won't make a difference."

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-11 7:36 ID:hByeC1uX

>>43
lol good one

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-11 7:56 ID:pVzlyKKl

What's the integral of 1/cabin dcabin?
log cabin!

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-11 8:46 ID:rvWxcZeA

>>45
?

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-11 8:51 ID:Heaven

>>45
THIS IS WHY WE DONT SUBMIT /PROG/ TO REDDIT

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-11 11:07 ID:Pxcr9rwO

>>43

Haha nice

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-11 11:32 ID:bOcJDu9d

hi I am an Hermitian operator lets shake our hands and do sume marijuana

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-11 23:30 ID:6yeTCgyI

>>7
lol i hope that guy is trolling or hes an idiot

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-12 0:11 ID:tWfk+yiT

All programming languages are tools, but in the case of VB, so is the programmer.

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-12 3:49 ID:KysK9sB7

There are only 2 types of people in the world:
1. Those who count from 1
1. Those who count from 0

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-12 4:01 ID:cGn7539K

>>52
OPTION BASE 0
am i doing it rite?

Name: Anonymous 2007-06-12 9:12 ID:8/UdO0C7

>>52
That's 3?

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 10:39

What do programmers eat?

Curried A++ with syntactic sugar

OLOLOLOLROFLXD

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 11:10

Once upon a time, (1/T) pretty little Polly Nomial was strolling through a field of vectors when she came to the edge of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent and her mother had made it an absolute condition that she never enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had changed her variables that morning and was feeling particularly badly behaved, ignored this condition on the grounds that it was insufficient and made her way in amongst the complex elements. Rows and columns enveloped her on all sides. Tangents approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor.  Quite suddenly, 3 branches of a hyperbola touched her at a single point. She oscillated violently, lost all sense of directrix, and went completely divergent. As she reached a turning point, she tripped over a square root protruding from the erf and plunged headlong down a steep gradient. When she was differentiated once more, she found herself, apparently alone, in a non-Euclidean space. She was being watched, however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi, was lurking inner product. As his eyes devoured her curvilinear coordinates, a singular expression crossed his face. Was she still convergent, he wondered. He decided to integrate improperly at once. Hearing a vulgar fraction behind her, Polly turned around and saw Curly Pi approaching with his power series extrapolated. She could see at once, by his degenerate conic and his dissipated terms, that he was up to no good.

"Eureka," she gasped.

"Ho, ho," he said. "What a symmetric little polynomial you are. I can see you are bubbling over with secs."

"Oh, sir," she protested. "Keep away from me. I haven't got my brackets on."

"Calm yourself, my dear," said our suave operator. "Your fears are purely imaginary."

"I, I," she thought, "perhaps he's homogeneous then."

"What order are you?" the brute demanded.

"Seventeen," replied Polly.

Curly leered. "I suppose you've never been operated on yet?" he asked.

"Of course not!" Polly cried indignantly. "I'm absolutely convergent."

"Come, come," said Curly, "let's off to a decimal place I know and I'll take you to the limit."

"Never," gasped Polly.

"Exchlf," he swore, using the vilest oath he knew.

His patience was gone. Coshing her over the coefficient with a log until she was powerless, Curly removed her discontinuities. He stared at her significant places and began smoothing her points of inflection. Poor Polly. All was up. She felt his hand tending to her asymptotic limit. Her convergence would soon be gone forever. There was no mercy, for Curly was a heavy-side operator. He integrated by parts. He integrated by partial fractions. The complex beast even went all the way around and did a counter integration. What an indignity to be multiply connected on her first integration. Curly went on operating until he was absolutely and completely orthogonal.

When Polly got home that night, her mother became frightened and stated "You're traveling in a forward direction to your auntie + uncle unit in the graph of Bel Air." I whistled for a cab and when it approached, the license plane said "New" and there were dotted cubes in the reflector, if anything I could state that this cab had a lesser chance than the rest but I thought disregard that fact, if you could operator, follow the lines that lead to Bel Air! I approached the compilation of three dimensional objects about 7/12 or 2/3 and I yelled to the operator attention, smell you some other time on this planar area! Looked at my Math house, My graph had finally reached a closed point, to finalize on my algorithmically correct point as the prince of the graph known as Bel Air.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 17:20

I have one,

Read SICP.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 18:09

256

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 18:13

Holy shit, I remember making this thread. This thread marked the gestation of the other car meme, which I invented.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 18:14

>>59
Which I invented.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 18:34

>>59,60
You are both wrong, I did.

Name: Anonymous 2008-02-22 20:09

>>18
You mean Gray code right?

Name: Anonymous 2010-09-20 17:32

bump

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-09 20:30

Name: Anonymous 2010-12-23 5:01

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 7:10

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 7:53

ffuuu

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 7:53

fffuuuu

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 7:53

fffuuuu

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 7:53

fffuuju

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 7:54

fffuuuu

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 10:26

>>70-74
I don't get it.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 14:22

How do you tell how long someone's been working for Oracle?

Cut open their turban and count the rings.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 20:07

How do you tell how long someone's been posting on /prog/?

Cut open their thread and check 'em dubs

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 20:17

Stop reviving old retarded threads you stupid fa/g/gots

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 21:48

How do you tell how long someone's been working for Intel?

Count the number of small explosion craters in their backyard from Palestinian rocket attacks.

Name: Anonymous 2013-05-19 22:21

How do you tell how long someone's been working for Intel?

Count the number of gigantic explosion craters in their backyard from Israeli rocket attacks on Palestinians.

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